Free Fall
by Elijahcanrun
Summary: Set at Dalton during season 2, Blaine didn't realize he was living in a rut until he was thrown head first into a time loop, forced to relive the same day over and over again until he can find a way to escape. As he struggles to hold on to his sanity, he realizes that maybe he was never as in control as he first thought and that there's more to people than meets the eye.
1. Chapter 1

Blaine leaned back into the soft, expensive couches from where he had been studying Pavarotti inside his cage. The study room was surprisingly empty for a Tuesday morning although Blaine supposed that might have something to do with the time. Kurt had tracked him down during recess, holding Pavarotti's cage delicately as if it were a bomb as he asked Blaine to come help him with panicky, wide eyes.

Blaine had agreed and now here they were sat, Blaine making a diagnosis as Kurt stared at him with an almost fearful look. Blaine could feel Kurt's eyes on the side of his head as he turned to face him, watching as Kurt bit at his lip in worry when he realized Blaine had figured out what was wrong.

"Well?" He asked anxiously.

"He's just moulting."

"Are you sure?"

"Absolutely," Blaine smiled at Kurt, trying to appear as sincere as possible to put the other boy's worries to rest.

Kurt smiled weakly in response, still glancing worriedly at the cage on the coffee table, his fingers drumming a beat on his knee. Blaine reached over to stop him, squeezing Kurt's hand to try and get rid of some of the nervous tension as he leaned into his side once again.

"It's very common for birds like Pavarotti. He's growing a new coat of feathers so his body has to shut down for a while."

"But he's barely eating anything, he doesn't sing anymore and he seems so sick that I can't help thinking-"

"It's all perfectly normal."

Kurt sighed, his shoulders dropping slightly but still far too tense for Blaine's liking.

"If you say so. I love him a lot; I didn't expect to care about a bird so much seeing as I was so anti pets as a child but now that I actually have one…"

Kurt trailed off, smiling absently at Pavarotti's huddled form as Blaine watched him fondly.

"I just don't want anything to happen to him."

"Completely understandable, but rest assured that you're doing a great job. Everyone knows how much you love him."

Kurt murmured in agreement, still watching Pavarotti carefully for that faintest sign of distress as Blaine squeezed his knee to get his attention.

"Now, was there anything else? You mentioned something about your audition."

"Right, did you look over my song for today?"

"Don't cry for me Argentina? I think it's an amazing audition piece, very Kurt," Blaine winked at him, "You're going to knock them dead."

"I know it seems like I'm panicking over nothing but my audition is in less than twelve hours and I really want to make a good impression because this is the first time the Warblers have ever heard me sing, as a group I mean, not just the council who decided to let me in-"

"Kurt!" Blaine laughed, holding up a hand as the other boy stopped to breath, "Slow down! You'll be fine."

Kurt smiled hesitantly, glancing down in embarrassment as Blaine leant into his side.

"Sorry, I'm just…"

"Nervous?"

"Very."

"Don't be, you're going to be amazing. The Warblers would be crazy not to let you in."

"You think so?"

"Absolutely!" Blaine beamed at him, "I've heard you sing before, remember? You'll be fine."

Kurt gave out a huff of irritation, rolling his eyes at Blaine as he leaned back to put a little more distance between them.

"Listening to me sing in the car is not the same thing as watching me perform, Blaine. I just don't want to be embarrassed so early at a new school, I was thinking we could leave the public humiliation until at least half way through the year."

"Hey c'mon, relax." Blaine frowned slightly, reaching to clasp one of Kurt's hands between his own, "This is Dalton not McKinley. The Warblers know talent when they see it, just walk in there and be your usual confident self and they'll love you. Don't over think it."

"If you say so," Kurt said again, shoulders still tight as he gave a weak smile.

There was a short silence as Blaine wondered what to say to put Kurt at ease, the other boy was still tense underneath his hand but Blaine got the impression that Kurt wouldn't be able to calm down until after the audition was over.

"Was there anything else?" Blaine asked after the pause had started to become uncomfortable.

"Oh no, I was just worrying."

"I know, but I promise you'll be fine."

"And Pavarotti?"

"He just needs some rest, he'll be good as new by tomorrow."

Kurt's shoulders seemed to slump forward as he gave Blaine his first genuine smile.

"Thank you."

"Don't mention it," Blaine pulled his hands back as Kurt seemed to lean even further away from him. Blaine frowned at the reaction, shaking his head to dismiss it as he continued talking.

"I better head off but good luck with your audition, it's too bad I can't make it."

"Oh right, you've got that… history project."

Kurt waved a hand, his voice suddenly dull as Blaine frowned, defensive at Kurt's tone.

"A detailed report on the 1812 French invasion of Russia and how it affected Napoleon's crusade, due this Friday."

"It's only Tuesday, my audition would take five minutes. You wouldn't even have to stay for the whole rehearsal."

"It's recommended that we don't put extracurricular activities before homework Kurt," Blaine said reproachfully, "You know that."

"Is it also recommended to put homework before friends?" Kurt muttered.

"What?"

"Nothing," Kurt sighed.

He stood up from the couch, reaching for Pavarotti's cage as he closed it carefully.

"Thanks for looking at him Blaine, it means a lot."

"Don't mention it," Blaine frowned, watching Kurt move stiffly, "How about we go get coffee tomorrow to celebrate your successful audition?"

"Sure, unless something suddenly comes up and you can't make it."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing, forget I said anything. Coffee sounds great," Kurt stooped to pick up his bag and swing it over one shoulder, giving Blaine a tight, cold smile as he brushed his bangs out of his eyes and picked up Pavarotti's cage with his other hand, "I'll see you tomorrow."

"Uh yeah, see you tomorrow. Good luck Kurt!"

With these parting words, Kurt made his way out of the room, not sparing Blaine a backwards glance as he left for his next class.

Blaine stared after him in confusion, not exactly sure what he'd done wrong. Kurt was the best friend he'd ever had but sometimes he struggled to keep up with what the other boy was thinking. One of the things he loved most about Kurt was how surprising he was, he was unlike anyone Blaine had ever met before and he adored that, but it was in moments like these that he wished Kurt was a little easier to understand.

Blaine stood up with a sigh, trying to ignore the uncomfortable feeling that he had failed somehow as he picked up his bag and walked out of the room. He'd been having a lot of moments like this with Kurt lately, they'd been best friends for about five months now but recently it seemed as if Kurt had begun to distance himself and Blaine had no idea why.

Kurt was amazing and it was a little depressing to think that he was getting bored of Blaine already.

Blaine walked down the empty hallway, lost in thought.

He had so much work to do, Kurt didn't understand the amount of stress he was under. Blaine was lead soloist for the Warblers, co-captain of the fencing team and a member of the debate team, add to that the immense Dalton workload, the occasional tutoring he did with freshman and the fortnightly meetings with the LGBT club and Blaine's schedule was almost constantly full.

He was a good friend though, he planned coffee dates after school and went to the movies on the weekend so his friends didn't get the impression he was ignoring them, and yes, while most of those coffee dates and movie nights had been centred around Kurt lately it just meant he felt a deeper connection to him than he did with his other friends. Kurt should be more appreciative of the effort he went too to involve him in his life.

"Blaine! We've been looking everywhere for you. Slow down a minute, we wanted to talk to you about a few Warblers' issues if you have the time."

Blaine sighed, pushing down any irritation as he fixed a bright smile on his face and turned around to greet Wes and David head on.

"Sure, go ahead."

"We can walk with you if you'd like," David offered, "We know you're pretty busy."

"I'm never busy enough to ignore the Warblers."

Wes and David smiled at that and fell into step with him, brushing against his sides as he started to walk back to his dorm again.

"As you already know we're holding auditions for signing parts at regionals today at four. David, Thad and myself will obviously all be there to judge the auditions and vote on which member will bring the most to our group but we were wondering if you were going to be critiquing the performances as well. You haven't confirmed anything yet so we just wanted to check in."

"There's also the necessity to discuss where to place the next member," David quickly added, "Obviously you'll have a solo, that goes unsaid but we were wondering if we should give the new member an extra solo or just merge them into a duet with you. We don't want to take any of the spotlight off of you seeing as you are our greatest asset."

"If we did give them a solo where then would we place it?" Wes continued, "If we put them at the beginning then it might lack the punch needed to make a dramatic impact, and almost seem laughable when we follow it up with you."

"Of course, it might have the added effect that our vocals just get better and better as the performance goes on."

"You're right David, I hadn't thought of that. If we put them at the end after having Blaine sing two songs it might be a bit of a let down to the audience, ending on a weak note if you will."

"Unless we do something more emotional for the end," David suggested, "That way we could have Blaine's energy and power and then shift it down to another Warbler."

"But would that other Warbler be as good as Blaine at emotional songs?"

"True," David mused, "Maybe we should put them in the middle. That seems less of a risk then starting or ending on a weak note."

"Putting them in the middle would seem clumsy, starting with Blaine then switching to a less skilled performer then switching back to Blaine again would just show the audience how much of a better performer Blaine is compared to our other singers and we don't want to give off that impression. We want the audience to think that all our performers are as skilled as Blaine."

"We could revisit the duet idea?"

"Hmmm, I suppose so. We could use the auditions today to narrow down our top five and then have them audition with Blaine to see whose voice suits his better in terms of harmonizing."

"I like it," David smiled widely, "What do you think Blaine?"

Blaine paused, realizing that he had been directly addressed as he tried to think of something to say.

"It sounds good, you're the council so whatever you decide will be great."

"Of course but your input is always highly appreciated Blaine."

"Thank you, I'll keep that in mind."

"Will you be judging the performances too then?" Wes asked him casually, seeming to notice his presence again now that he was done discussing ideas with David, "It'll make the auditions a lot easier; you'll at least have some idea of whose voice would go best with your own. Although I've got to tell you Blaine, that doesn't mean you can pick favourites. No matter how pretty the countertenor may be."

Blaine stared at Wes in confusion as David laughed, both of them obviously in on some joke that Blaine had never heard of.

"I don't- no thanks. As much as I'd love to come, I have a whole pile of homework that I need to start working on as soon as possible. I wouldn't miss a practice but seeing as the auditions aren't essential for me to be there, I'm going to take the time to perfect a couple of assignments I have due."

Wes and David traded a look over Blaine's head, frowning as they slowly pieced through what he had just said.

"Forgive me, I guess I just assumed that you'd be there."

"You know Kurt's auditioning right?" David asked, an underlying tone in his voice as if he thought Blaine had somehow missed all the times Kurt had excitedly gushed about his upcoming song and how nervous he was.

"Of course I know, there's going to be a lot of auditions though so I don't see what's so important about this one. He doesn't mind, he knows that I've got a lot on my plate."

"It's for regionals Blaine, and it's his first audition. I'm sure he'd appreciate the moral support."

Blaine felt something tighten in his shoulders, his hands beginning to flex as he pushed down all the stress he was dealing with and the confusing conversation he'd had with Kurt minutes before. There was something in David's voice, something that implied he was being incredibly obtuse and needed to be talked down to as if the other boy was some kind of wise sage and not just one year older than Blaine.

Blaine didn't have time for this right now, he didn't have time for Warbler details that would be talked to death over and over again before they'd even chosen their songs. He wanted to go back to his room and work on his project in solitude, enjoying a few minutes for himself as he threw himself completely into one task.

Why did he always have to be switched on? Why did he always have to be polite, dapper, charming Blaine who was always willing to stop and talk no matter what was going on in his life? Sometimes Blaine just wanted to be slightly rude and take some time for himself, he honestly didn't see it as too much to ask for.

"Believe it or not David, but Kurt's made of pretty strong stuff. He can handle me not turning up to one audition. In fact, I don't see why this is being treated as such a big deal; if he gets chosen then I'll be singing with him at regionals. He can have all the moral support he wants then."

Wes and David came to a unanimous halt, sharing another undecipherable look as Blaine continued walking for a few paces, only to realise they had stopped as he then turned back to face them.

"Blaine while we appreciate a good work ethic, have you ever considered that sometimes you work yourself a little too hard?" Wes asked, his voice infuriatingly slow and patronising like David's had been. "I don't want to seem presumptuous but sometimes I feel that when you get too caught up in all your school work you can start to forget about other's around you."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means we haven't been to a movie with you in months, you're a good friend Blaine but ever since Kurt turned up you've been showering him with affection and distancing yourself from people who once considered you to be a good friend."

"I'm sorry that you feel that way-"

"It's not that we're upset about how close you are with Kurt," Wes interrupted, "In fact we're glad you've found someone you can be yourself around. Before Kurt came to Dalton we felt as if you were closing yourself off, not letting go as much as you should have. With Kurt's arrival you seemed to transform back into the boy of almost a year ago who had a large and wide circle of friends. But recently we've become concerned, it feels as if you're distancing yourself from Kurt and we don't know why."

"I'm not the one distancing myself, he is." Blaine snapped, "But none of that should even matter because it isn't any of your business. All I want to do is work on a homework assignment, that doesn't mean that Kurt's and my relationship is crumbling or falling to pieces like you seem to think it is, all it means is that I want to get ahead in my history class and do well. That's it."

"Blaine-"

"No, no more. I'd like to be left alone now. Thank you for the concern but I'm fine, Kurt is fine and I'm sure the auditions will be fine without me. You'll make a great choice in picking another soloist and Kurt's song will go down well. I'll talk to you both tomorrow."

"Blaine there's no need-"

"Please, if anything important comes up you can text me, but anything Warbler related can wait till after I've finished my project. I appreciate your dedication but, enough."

Blaine turned on his heel and stalked away with his head held high, very aware of the despairing looks that Wes and David were shooting after him.

Nobody had any idea the amount of stress he was under, they could give him suggestions and advice and act as if they had it all together but nobody really knew what it was like to be him. God, Blaine hated it when he felt like he had disappointed someone. He tried so hard to spread his time evenly, focusing on one task at a time and always making himself available for when people wanted to talk or when Kurt wanted to hang out but it never seemed to be enough.

He needed good grades, good grades were a sign that he was dedicated and intelligent and well liked by his teachers. They were proof in written form that he was good at something and was an achiever, harder working than his older brother had ever been not that Blaine's father would notice or care.

Wes and David had always encouraged the Warblers to keep up with their school work and not let Glee club distract them from their overall grades. There was even a certain GPA you had to reach if you wanted to stay in the club, ridiculously higher than any other school extracurricular because of how in demand the Warblers were.

It was one measly audition Blaine was missing, just one and yet everybody seemed to be acting as if he had pulled out a spray can and graffitied the halls with his hatred for show choir.

It was just one audition he was missing, Blaine fumed to himself as he hurriedly walked down an empty corridor, his shoes unnecessarily loud against the pristine marble. Who was to say that Kurt would even get in? Blaine was a good friend, he had offered to take him out to coffee the next day and he knew Kurt would text him the details. Why did it matter so much if he missed one, crummy little audition?

"Wow Tiger! Slow down, what's got you in such a hurry? Did Hummel offer to let you get to second base?"

"I don't have time for this Sebastian," Blaine sighed in frustration, reeling backwards from where he had almost crashed into the other boy while turning a corner, "And contrary to popular belief, Kurt and I aren't dating."

"The only person who believes that is you," Sebastian raised an eyebrow, refusing to move out of Blaine's way as he casually leant against a wall, "I shouldn't have gotten my hopes up anyway. Hummel's too much of a prude to ever let anybody remove the stick from his ass."

"Don't talk about him like that!" Blaine snapped, already on edge from his conversations with Wes, David and Kurt, "You don't know anything about him."

"Wow, pipsqueak," Sebastian held up his hands in an apology, "Don't get your panties in a twist, I didn't mean anything by it. I was actually coming to find you, I just wanted to know if you know where Kurt is. Irritating as he is, he's the only one I'd trust to copy French notes off of. The rest of the class is mind numbingly ignorant and I was a little too distracted on Friday to pay attention to that sad excuse of a teacher."

"And why weren't you paying attention?"

"Cameron Whirter was making eyes at me again, why waste my time in class when I could have been doing something much more fun?"

"Ugh, okay," Blaine wrinkled up his nose as he tried to ignore Sebastian's leer, "I think I've heard enough about that. I don't know where Kurt is exactly, he didn't tell me where he was going when he decided to leave. Have you checked his dorm room?"

"Dorm room," Sebastian said slowly as if it was a foreign word, "Why didn't I think of that? Oh wait, I already did. He wasn't there but I guess it won't hurt to check again."

"Great, have fun with that."

"Guess I'll see you at four then Blanderson."

"I won't be there, I have homework so I'll see you on Thursday," Blaine tugged his bag tighter, hoping to avoid the typical question about why he wouldn't be there as he saw Sebastian start to frown, "Bye, Sebastian."

"What do you mean you're not going?"

"It's not a big deal," Blaine sighed in frustration, already sick of the overblown reactions, "It's not necessary for me to be there and I need to complete the homework by Friday. It's not like Kurt minds."

"Not like Kurt- do you even know your half boyfriend at all?"

"He's not my-"

"And why are you pretending that you haven't already almost finished the essay? It's not due during the auditions, you can't possibly take an hour out of your life to watch some boys in blazers try and impress you? Jesus Blaine, everyone with ears knows this thing means a lot to Kurt and while I don't understand or particularly care why, I thought that you'd at least pretend to be there for him."

"Why is everyone attacking me today? Kurt's my best friend but I can't let friendship get in the way of important things like homework."

Sebastian stared down at him, making Blaine squirm slightly as he glanced to the side to avoid eye contact.

"What you just said," Sebastian said slowly, "Was so pathetic that I actually feel embarrassed for you. I'm starting to feel sorry for Kurt, it must suck have to deal with this kind of crap all the time."

"Excuse me?"

"You heard what I said, you need to get your head out of your ass Blaine if you think Kurt's just going to be waiting by your side for whenever you're ready to throw him a bone."

"It is one stupid audition-"

"It's not one stupid audition!" Sebastian snapped, "It's a whole heap of stupid events that are leading up to you being crowned jackass of the year. It's like you can't even see how amazing your life could be and sooner or later you'll end up throwing it away without even realizing how badly you screwed up. The worst part is that when Kurt eventually does get tired of all your excuses and leading him on then you won't even realize what you could have had because you are so damn oblivious that you can't see what's right in front of you when it puts on a pair of skinny jeans and starts dancing."

"Dancing- what are you talking about?"

"You want things to stay the way they are, huh?" Sebastian asked, pushing closer into Blaine's personal space with a vaguely threatening tone, "You think your life is perfect and that nothing should ever change?"

"I like my life the way it is."

"Great, well guess what Anderson? I'm about to make all your dreams come true. I'm going to give you a taste of what it's going to be like if you don't start changing things up now. You like repetition? Like to keep things the same and under your control? Fantastic, let's see how well that turns out for you by tomorrow."

"I have absolutely no idea what you're talking about," Blaine said through gritted teeth, barely restraining himself from snapping angrily. "But I don't care anymore because this day is just getting more terrible by the minute and I know it's only going to get worse if I keep talking to you. Thank you for the advice I didn't want or need Sebastian, please don't talk to me anymore."

"Remember what I said Blaine," Sebastian said as Blaine pushed past him, still trying to be polite by not intentionally shoving him no matter how much he wanted to, "My advice is going to come in handy later."

The other boy called something else after him but Blaine ignored it as he rounded the corner and started up some stairs. He pushed his conversations with Kurt and Sebastian and Wes and David all to the back of his mind, trying as hard as he could to forget what had been said as he forced himself to concentrate on getting to his room and starting his assignment.

He'd text Kurt later to see how he went and act appropriately happy or disappointed depending on the outcome. Everything was going to be fine, he was a good friend and nobody had any right to say that he wasn't.

Trying as hard as he could to focus on something else, Blaine still couldn't ignore the niggling feeling at the back of his mind, the feeling that something was about to go wrong or that there was a hidden threat behind Sebastian's words, one worth listening to. Blaine couldn't articulate the feeling properly though and instead let his feelings of frustration wash it away. He needed to focus on his project, then and only then would he deal with everything else.


	2. Chapter 2

"_You make me feel like I'm living a teenage dream the way you turn me on, I can't sleep, let's run away, don't-"_

Blaine leaned over to shut his phone off with a groan, the alarm unusually loud as he slumped backwards into his bed. He swiped his thumb across the phone screen, frowning as he realized that Kurt still hadn't replied to his text message from yesterday. He'd sent it around six but obviously the other boy hadn't gotten it or decided to ignore it as Blaine had heard no news about how the audition had gone. Blaine pushed himself upwards, blinking blearily in the light as he stumbled across to where he had hung his uniform in his closet.

Maybe he had done something wrong by not going to the audition, maybe Kurt was angry at him and Sebastian, Wes and David had been right in saying it was a much bigger deal than Blaine had thought.

Blaine could feel something sinking in his stomach as he thought about Kurt ignoring him.

What was the best way to make it up to him? Could he buy him something? Serenade him with something appropriate or would that be considered tasteless what with- where was Blaine's uniform?

It took Blaine a few confusing seconds of staring at his closest to realize it wasn't there. Taking a step back, he caught sight of his uniform folded neatly over his chair in his peripheral vision and turned to face it with a frown.

He'd hung his uniform up in his closet… hadn't he?

Blaine paused, racking his brains to try and recall what he'd done with it last night before shrugging his shoulders. It didn't matter, what mattered right now was that Kurt was angry at him and he needed to figure out a way to fix it.

Blaine's fingers fumbled with his tie, still half asleep as he slowly started to take in other details of his room.

His roommate Jeff had apparently already left, his bed empty and the covers rumpled from where he had hastily thrown them back. Blaine stared at the covers in confusion, his mind torn between thinking about Kurt or the nagging feeling that something was completely off.

Usually Jeff tried to sleep in as late as he possibly could to the frustration of his teachers. The only time he woke up early was on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays for swim team meetings. Had Jeff mentioned something to Blaine about another meeting?

Blaine frowned in concentration, but couldn't remember any mention of it. Maybe Jeff had to get up early to do some extra homework? That was a possible option as well, he seemed to be in a constant state of procrastination which would have ended badly for him if he didn't manage to complete everything just in time.

Blaine finished dressing in silence, checking the time on his phone to see if he had accidently set his alarm too late. Everything seemed to be fine though and Blaine finished getting ready, picking up his bag as he tucked his maths text book under one arm and made his way down to the cafeteria for breakfast.

Something was wrong.

It tugged at the back of Blaine's mind as he sat at his usual table, eating a couple of pieces of toast as he proof read his English essay on Macbeth. He glanced around the room frowning, trying to figure out what was putting him on edge. Around him Dalton boy's laughed and talked loudly, going back and forth for food as chairs screeched across the floor and people called out to get their friend's attention. Blaine couldn't see anything out of the ordinary, but he couldn't ignore the creeping, prickly feeling that he was missing something.

It was something right in front of him, something he just couldn't put his finger on.

"Hey!"

Blaine glanced up from his essay, face breaking into a smile as he caught Kurt's eye.

"I've been looking for you everywhere Blaine, can I talk to you?"

"Sure, here," Blaine slipped his essay back into his bag and stood up, "I'll walk with you to your next class."

"Oh thanks, it's just I've been really worried lately and you were the first person I thought to talk to."

Blaine glanced at him curiously from the corner of his eye, trying to work out if Kurt really was angry with him and hiding it or if Blaine was overreacting. Kurt seemed fine though, a little nervous and worried but his smile was real enough and he didn't flinch away when Blaine brushed up against him.

"You know I'll help you with anything, Kurt," Blaine flashed him a wide, charming smile that made Kurt pull back, blushing slightly as he ducked his head and fell into step with Blaine as they left the cafeteria.

"Good, it's just I didn't really know the protocol. It's probably the type of thing that would get me kicked out of the Warblers."

"What are you talking about?"

"It's Pavarotti, I think he's sick."

"Kurt," Blaine chuckled, shifting slightly closer to avoid two oncoming students, "Didn't we talk about this yesterday? He's fine, he's just moulting. It's normal for birds like Pavarotti. You're not doing anything wrong."

"I don't remember talking to you about this yesterday," Kurt frowned, "But if you're sure that this is normal."

"You're doing fine," Blaine trailed off as he made eye contact with a boy from his maths class and smiled at him, flushing slightly when the other boy winked.

"Hey Blaine."

"Hey Terry."

"I'll see you later."

"Absolutely," Blaine grinned after him, glancing over his shoulder as Terry walked away.

"Who was that?" Kurt asked, sounding slightly off as Blaine shook his head and turned back to look at him.

"Hmm? Oh, nobody. What were you saying?"

"I… just that I'm worried about Pavarotti. I really care about him, I don't want to be known as the Warbler who killed his Warbler."

"Kurt, he'll be fine. Even if he does die, there's no way the Warblers would throw you out. They need you too much and they'd know it's not your fault."

"I guess so…" Kurt trailed off uncertainly.

A passing student swung his bag into Blaine's side, apologising over his shoulder as Blaine waved him off with a wince.

"There was also something else I wanted to talk to you about, it's my audition. I was wondering if you could help me with it."

"Look Kurt, as much as I like you I can't influence the council's decision. Don't worry about it, they'd be insane not to choose you."

"That wasn't what I meant-"

Kurt was suddenly cut off as a couple of boys appeared from around the corner and Blaine and Kurt were forced to dodge them, pushing up against the walls as the five minute warning bell sounded and the boys pushed past them.

"Ugh, can you believe him?"

"Believe who?" Kurt looked up in interest.

"Him!"

Blaine gestured over to where Sebastian and some tall brown haired boy were leaning against the wall making out, oblivious to the hordes of students who rushed around them.

"That's disgusting, that level of PDA is entirely inappropriate."

"You've obviously never been to McKinley," Kurt raised an eyebrow, "That level of PDA is considered tame."

"Yeah, well, someone should really say something to them."

"Just leave it, you know Sebastian's not going to care. Besides, you're going to be late for class if we don't hurry up."

"Right," Blaine cast one last look back at Sebastian and the other boy as Kurt tugged him forward, pulling him out of the crowd of students and down a staircase.

"I've got maths first up, but I'll see you later okay? I know you've been stressed but we'll go out for coffee after school and we can talk then. It feels like I haven't been able to sit down and just talk with you for ages, in fact I can't even remember-"

"Blaine," Kurt tugged him to a halt at the bottom of the staircase, ignoring the students who brushed past them, casting curious looks, "Stop trying to ignore the subject."

Blaine stared at him in confusion, taking in Kurt's serious expression and stiff posture.

"What subject?"

"Are you coming to my audition or not?"

Blaine paused, turning the words over in his head several times as he tried to make sense of them. Audition… was Kurt talking about yesterday? Or was there some other audition that Blaine had missed Kurt talking about all together?

Blaine tried to remember, distinctly aware of the fact that this was the third time this morning something unusual had happened that he'd struggled to figure out. His clothes hadn't been where he'd left them, Jeff had left early for apparently no reason and now Kurt was talking about some other audition that Blaine had no memory of.

"Kurt," Blaine said slowly, smiling gently at the other boy, "Your audition was on Tuesday. How can I go to something I've already missed?"

Kurt stared at him with an expression Blaine couldn't understand, eyes studying his face as if to check if Blaine was joking.

"Today's Tuesday Blaine."

Blaine pulled back slightly, smiling in a bemused confusion as Kurt continued to stare at him seriously.

"What are you talking about?"

"Look, if you don't want to come, just say so. I kind of want you to be there but if you've got something better to do then I understand, I just thought our friendship meant something to you."

"Kurt-"

"I'll see you later Blaine, I wouldn't want to keep you from whatever bad excuse you've made up this time."

Kurt turned around and left, striding away in a manner that made it clear to anyone watching that while he was angry he wasn't going to be as undignified as to storm away like a toddler throwing a tantrum.

Blaine stared after him in confusion, feeling distinctly hurt as he watched Kurt turn a corner and disappear from sight, but with no idea what he had done or how to fix it.

What had Kurt meant? Of course their friendship meant something to Blaine! How could Kurt even suggest- and what did he mean about Blaine coming to his audition?

Was this some kind of passive aggressive attack to make Blaine feel guilty?

The bell rung again and Blaine jolted out of his thoughts, realizing that class had just started as he quickly made his way to his classroom down the hall.

Today is Tuesday.

What did Kurt even mean by that?

Usually when he was being passive aggressive Blaine had some idea where he was coming from but that Tuesday comment had really confused him. In fact, if Kurt had been that upset that Blaine had missed his audition then why didn't he just come right out and say it? It wasn't exactly Kurt's style to hold back when he thought someone had wronged him.

Blaine reached the door of his classroom, slightly out of breath as he pushed it forward, trying not to make an entrance.

"Mr. Holbrook, I'm sorry I-"

Blaine froze, staring blankly at the twenty five or so unfamiliar faces staring back at him.

"Mr. Anderson?" The teacher called to him from his desk, "Was there something that you wanted?"

"Sorry I… has there been a room change? I'm in Mr. Holbrook's math class and I don't think anyone told me about the swapped classrooms."

The teacher frowned at him, tilting his head to study Blaine curiously.

"No, I'm afraid I wouldn't know. You can go up to the front office if you need help, but our class is always here every Tuesday morning."

"T-Tuesday? Right, sorry, I'll just go there now. Excuse me," Blaine backed out of the class room, shutting the door behind him as he slumped against the wall, still clutching tightly at his maths textbook.

Was this some kind of joke that the whole school was in on? Why would Kurt agree to play along if it was?

Blaine straightened up and adjusted his tie, if it was Tuesday then that meant he had physics with Miss Roberts in one of the lecture theatres. Blaine headed off in that direction, making his way through the now empty corridors as he tried to figure out what was happening.

It was Wednesday.

He knew this, he knew it from the moment he woke up.

He could remember school on Tuesday and on Monday and could easily remember what he'd done on the weekend, by all signs this meant that today was Wednesday and Blaine had no idea what the rest of the school was playing at.

Pulling out his phone, he typed in the password, determined to check facebook and see if there was some public event he had missed out on. It was a little unrealistic to expect even the teachers to get behind it but right now it was one of the few explanations Blaine had.

Blaine was about to click on the app, thumb hovering over the button when he glanced at the top right of the screen and froze, coming to a halt in the middle of the hallway as he tried to work out what he was seeing.

Tuesday, 14th of May.

The date on his phone said it was still Tuesday.

How could that be possible?

Blaine dumped his bag on the floor, searching through it to pull out his homework diary as he frantically turned pages to get to the right day.

His phone had a password on it, he slept with it under his pillow so as to muffle the alarm for Jeff. There was no possible way someone could have broken into it and changed the date while he slept.

Why would someone go to such effort?

Blaine finally reached the right page in his diary and glanced down, hoping to see all the homework assignments he had written in yesterday.

Blank.

The page was completely blank as if nobody had written or erased a single word.

This- this wasn't possible.

Blaine flipped through the rest of his diary with a growing unease, confirming his suspicions that the only day that had been erased was Tuesday.

The rest of the diary was exactly as he remembered it, his handwriting identical with the same notes and pictures he had drawn while bored in class. It was as if Tuesday had never happened, like the day had completely been erased from everyone else's memory but his.

Blaine sat backwards, breathing deeply as he closed his eyes and forced himself not to panic.

That had been the thing his subconscious was trying to tell him, he had thought something was off all morning and he finally had an answer.

He'd left early yesterday morning to grab a forgotten book from his dorm room so he hadn't bumped into Kurt, but everything else about that morning, the food served, the boys eating, the conversations, God, even the way they moved would have been identical.

Because yesterday had been Tuesday and today was Tuesday too.

But- that didn't make sense.

How could you have the same day twice in a row? It wasn't feasible, it defied the laws of physics and even just the concept of it was-

Déjà vu!

Blaine sat up quickly, eyes widening as he considered the possibility. Maybe yesterday had just been a very vivid dream, brought on by stress and working himself too hard and- yes, that would explain it.

Yesterday had been an incredibly realistic, incredibly accurate dream but now it was all over and he had woken up. He'd already proven that he could deviate from the dream Tuesday. He'd walked with Kurt to class, he'd accidently gone to the wrong classroom. None of that had happened yesterday, so that had to mean he was in control now, right?

Blaine pushed his diary back into his bag, shoving the strap over one shoulder as he stood up and straightened his blazer.

The sane thing to do now would be to carry on with the rest of his day, he'd finish a little homework and oh God, Blaine realized with a sinking feeling, he would have to finish his history project for the second time, but after a bit of homework he would go to sleep early and put this confusing day behind him.

He'd wake up calm and relaxed and make his way through a perfectly normal Wednesday, not letting out the slightest hint to his friends that anything was wrong.

Right, he could do this.

He'd be fine, all he had to do was get through this day and the stress dream would be over.

Easy.

"_You make me feel like I'm living a teenage dream the way you turn me on, I can't sleep, let's run away, don't-"_

Blaine swung up to switch the alarm off, slumping backwards into his pillows as he ran his hands through his hair. Glancing to the right, Blaine peeked a look at Jeff's bed, freezing as he saw it empty, the covers thrown back and rumpled.

Okay, okay that didn't mean anything. Jeff might have a reason to get up early on a Wednesday morning, just because he wasn't here didn't mean that it was Tuesday. Blaine reached for his phone on his bedside table, unlocking it as he warily glanced at the top right corner.

Tuesday, 14th of May.

Blaine threw his phone at the floor, rolling over as he buried his face in his pillows.

What the hell was going on? He'd gone to bed early, he'd eased through his classes, not even going out of his way to find out how Kurt's audition had gone.

He'd- how could this be a dream for the third time in a row?

He was awake! Everything around him, this was real. He wasn't asleep, he knew what a dream felt like.

What the hell was happening? Was he- had he gone crazy? Blaine rolled on to his back, staring up at the ceiling in fear. Was this a form of insanity? The last stage before he completely lost his mind? He was already reliving the same day over and over again, wasn't that a sign that he had completely lost it?

Maybe he was in a coma.

He'd been in some terrible accident and now his brain was trying to piece itself back together, reliving the day of the trauma over and over again until not only could he remember what had happened, but he was able to accept it.

If he was in a coma did that mean he was in hospital? Was his family there? Would they take the time out of their busy schedules to come see him if he was comatose?

Oh God, Kurt would be devastated.

He'd probably bring Blaine flowers, changing them whenever they started to die. Maybe he'd even decorate his room to make it look homier; Blaine knew how much Kurt loved decorating things.

Blaine entertained himself with the idea of being in a coma for a couple of minutes until his phone started beeping again, warning him that he had to leave in ten minutes.

Blaine sat up and got out of bed.

Okay, new plan. All he had to do was keep going through however many Tuesdays until he could find a way out. Blaine still wasn't prepared to rule out the possibility of it being a stress dream, maybe he just had to last through one more day and then things would go back to normal. It wasn't as if the Tuesdays could last forever, right?

"If you're sure that this is normal for birds like Pavarotti," Kurt frowned, "I guess I'll trust your judgement. I'm just worried."

"You're doing fine," Blaine said, walking with Kurt down the Dalton hallway.

"Hey Blaine," Terry passed by, keeping eye contact for an unusually long time as he brushed up against Blaine's side.

"Hey Terry," Blaine replied, giving him a weak smile.

"I'll see you later."

"Yeah, sure."

"Who was that?" Kurt asked once he had passed, his shoulders stiff and his voice cold.

"Nobody, some guy in my maths class. Look Kurt don't worry about Pavarotti, and don't worry about your audition."

A passing student brushed past Blaine on the left, his bag swinging and hitting Blaine in the side as the other student called an apology over his shoulder.

"I don't want to annoy you or sound like I'm panicking about nothing, it's just this is a really big deal to me and-"

"Kurt, you'll do fine. Relax," Blaine said through gritted teeth, still rubbing at his side as he tried to ignore how panicked he was feeling.

"I know, I know, you keep saying," Kurt sighed, "But I just can't help feeling like something bad is going to happen."

A crowd of boys appeared from around the corner, pushing past them as Kurt and Blaine were forced to squeeze up close against the wall. The five minute warning bell sounded and the pace of the students bustling around them all sped up, anxious to go to their classes before they were late.

"Here," Kurt grabbed on to Blaine's hand and tugged him out of the crowd and tugged him down a staircase, making a face as they passed Sebastian with his tongue stuffed down the tall, brunette boy's throat.

"Ugh," Kurt wrinkled up his nose, "Someone should warn that guy that he'd contract fewer diseases if he decided to make out with a toilet."

"Good morning to you too Hummel," Sebastian pulled away from the boy with a wet sucking sound to wink at Kurt, before turning back to his make out partner.

Kurt rolled his eyes and ignored him, pulling Blaine after him down the stairs.

"Blaine, can we stop ignoring the subject for a minute and talk about my audition?"

"Talk away," Blaine replied, coming to a stop next to him at the foot of the stairs.

Kurt took a deep breath, drawing up his shoulders to look Blaine in the eyes.

"Warblers practice today, are you coming or not?"

"I'm sorry Kurt, but I've kind of got bigger things to worry about."

"Right," Kurt said flatly, "Look, if you don't want to come, just say so."

"That's not it at all-"

"I'll see you later."

"Kurt!" Blaine called after him in frustration as Kurt made his way down the hallway without looking back once. Blaine shuffled forward, ready to go after him but glancing around at the retreating students, realized that class was about to start.

How could he make Kurt understand?

He was stuck in some kind of time loop that was defying the laws of physics, a missed audition for a solo was in no way comparable to what Blaine was going through. He couldn't try to explain it to the other boy though, Kurt would think he was insane or had snapped from all the stress he was under.

He would tell the nurse, one of the teachers or even worse, Wes.

Blaine couldn't handle being fussed over as people insisted that the repeating Tuesdays were 'all in his mind' and 'nothing to worry about'. Blaine knew this was real, he knew this was actually happening and no amount of concerned teachers or friends would be able to convince him that it wasn't.

Blaine made his way to his physics room, nodding a greeting at his teacher as he made his way to the third row and took his usual seat next to Nick.

Soon Nick would turn to him and say-

"Hey, did you finish all the questions for homework? I couldn't figure out number nine."

Calculate the time it would take for a cannon ball of 1 kg to hit the ground after falling from 50 meters.

How much force would the falling object hit the ground with?

How long would it take a skydiver of 55 kg to fall before they reach Terminal Velocity?

Blaine was reaching for his bag before Nick had even finished his sentence, pulling out his workbook as he slid it across the table.

"Have a look at mine, I did up to question fifteen."

"Thanks Blaine," Nick grinned at him to which Blaine weakly returned the smile. Somehow the conversation seemed to have lost its effect when it was the fifth time they had had it.

**Author's note: **

Thanks for reading guys! A big thank you to everybody who reviewed or favourite, it really makes my day. If anyone is interested, this fic is based on this gifset:

starkspangledcompanionsdottumblrdotcom/post/267619 84718/glee-au-day-four-sebastian-aka-cupid-gives

(Just turn the 'dot' into . )


	3. Chapter 3

"If you're sure that this is normal for birds like Pavarotti," Kurt frowned, "I guess I'll trust your judgement. I'm just worried."

"Kurt, relax. Pavarotti is fine, you are fine and you have nothing to worry about, just let it go," Blaine said through gritted teeth, ignoring Kurt's slightly hurt look as they walked together down the hallway.

"Did I say something wro-"

"Hey Blaine," Terry interrupted them, brushing up against Blaine's side in what he probably thought was a subtle manner.

"Hey Terry," Blaine replied wearily.

"I'll see you later."

"Yeah, sure."

Terry grinned at him over his shoulder and Blaine attempted a smile back, this was the seventh time Terry had walked past them in the hallway and Blaine had finally caught on to the fact that Terry might have a small crush on him.

"Who was that?"

Something Blaine hadn't been able to figure out however, was why Kurt sounded so cold whenever he asked that question. Blaine had thought about questioning further but didn't want to mess up the schedule he had in the morning, he had no idea what would happen if he changed the way the day was supposed to run.

"Nobody, move to the right."

"Huh?"

Blaine pushed Kurt to the side as another student came barrelling down the corridor, his bag swinging out dangerously and just missed hitting Blaine in the side.

"Nice save, I don't see why everyone has to push so much, if you want to get to class earlier then leave early. It's that simple."

Blaine hummed in agreement, pushing up against the wall further as the group of students appeared from around the corner and pushed past them, laughing and joking as they brushed past them.

"Look Blaine, I wanted to talk to you about my audition today."

"I can't make it."

"Wait, what?" Kurt came to a stop, a hurt expression on his face, "Why not?"

"Kurt I-" Blaine cut off, noticing Sebastian only a meter away making out intensely with the tall brunette, although he seemed oblivious Blaine knew he was listening in on their conversation for any kind of gossip.

"Come here," Blaine grabbed on to Kurt's hand and tugged him down the staircase, "Let's get a little bit further away from everyone else."

"I don't understand why you won't come."

"Kurt, I'm sorry but there's just so much going on in my life right now and I can't…" Blaine broke off with a sigh, slumping his shoulders forward as he rubbed at his forehead tiredly.

"I can't right now."

Kurt stared at him in silence, studying him curiously as his face finally morphed into a look of sympathy.

"Blaine, what's wrong?"

"Nothing, it's… I've just been feeling trapped lately. I feel trapped."

"Trapped? How?"

"Like everyday's the same, like I'm just going over the same motions. I used to feel like this before I met you but it…it's never felt so literal before. I can't escape it and I can't handle another day of… of…" Blaine gestured around wildly, "Of Tuesdays, I can't do it."

"Okay, you've lost me."

"I can't go to another physics class Kurt!" Blaine exclaimed pacing away from him, as the last few students slipped into their classes and the final bell rang, "Letting Nick look over my homework and watching the same power point and reading the same chapter in the textbook! I can't do it. I thought it would be easy until things started making sense, until something changed but nothing changes, everything stays the same but me! How am I- I can't…"

"Hey, hey, hey," Kurt moved forward hesitantly, reaching up to squeeze at Blaine's arm, "It's okay, if you don't want to go to class then don't, I mean you don't," Kurt paused for a second, "You don't even have to come to my audition if you don't feel up to it. Why don't you go sleep for a bit in your room? I'll text Nick and Jeff to cover for you."

"I can't," Blaine clenched his hands in frustration, feeling as if he was on the verge of tears as he tried to find a way to explain how he felt. "You don't understand, everything has to stay the same and if I mess something up then I have no idea what will happen."

"The world won't end if you take a day off Blaine, you're already late for class and somehow the school hasn't crumbled to the ground. You need to stop being so hard on yourself, if you wanted to just take off for a day then no one would blame you, everybody knows the amount of stress you're under."

Kurt's hand was still closed lightly around his arm, his thumb dragging back and forth as Blaine relaxed, slumping forward until his head was buried in the curve of Kurt's shoulder.

"I don't know what I'm doing," He mumbled.

Kurt slowly lifted his left arm to hug Blaine closer, tightening his grip across his back as he paused, looking for words.

"You're not trapped," Kurt said quietly, "I know sometimes it can feel like there are a hundred different obligations and tasks you need to complete, but don't forget that you're in control. It's up to you whether you choose to complete it or not, it's your choice to come to school every day. You're never trapped if you can make decisions like that."

Blaine hummed in agreement, letting Kurt support his body weight as he tried not to focus on being lost in a never ending loop of Tuesdays and instead tried to concentrate on how warm Kurt was, or how good the other boy smelt. If he was forced to spend a lifetime reliving the same day, at the very least he would have Kurt.

"What do you want to do?" Kurt asked softly, interrupting his thoughts, "Do you feel up to going to class or do you want to go back to your room and watch a couple of movies? You could even go out to lunch if you wanted to get out of the school completely, my car's still in the parking lot."

"Hmm?"

"My car's in the parking lot, I could drive you somewhere if you wanted to leave, I don't let anybody touch my baby so I'm not going to just hand over the car keys but if you really needed-"

"I could just leave the school?"

Blaine blinked in surprise, wondering why the idea hadn't occurred to him before.

"Well… yes, if you really wanted to and just for today."

"But Dalton's where the day keeps repeating, if I could somehow leave then I could wait out the next day somewhere else. Then when it was Wednesday I could come back and things would go on like normal."

"I… you've lost me again."

"C'mon!" Blaine pulled out of Kurt's grip, suddenly excited at the possibility of escaping, "I need you to drive me away from here."

"Where to?"

"You know what Kurt? It doesn't even matter, anywhere so long as it's not here."

Blaine grabbed on to one of Kurt's hands and started leading him back up the stair case and out towards the parking lot, squeezing tightly as he dragged the other boy behind him.

"I know you'll miss your Tuesday classes but in the grand scheme of things it doesn't really matter, if this doesn't work out then you can just do them tomorrow."

"Blaine you're not making any sense."

"I'll explain afterwards."

"What about my audition?"

Blaine refrained himself from rolling his eyes at the question, instead tugging Kurt forwards faster who was still putting up the slightest resistance.

"I'll tell the Warblers it was my fault, you can audition at another time."

"Blaine I've been practicing for this for weeks! What if they don't let me have another audition? What if they just give the solo to someone else because I didn't bother to turn up?"

"Stop worrying so much, I'll tell Wes and David what happened. There are more important things than a solo Kurt."

"Yeah maybe for you," Kurt snapped, still pulling back so Blaine had to drag him forwards, "You're the main soloist, you don't have to fight for a chance to shine but for the rest of it's a little more difficult than 'oh well, I guess I'll try again next time a solo comes around.' There might not be another solo."

Blaine stopped from where he had been yanking Kurt after him, turning to face the taller boy. Kurt stared back at him angrily, his eyes narrowing into the beginnings of a glare as Blaine held up a hand in appeasement.

"Listen to me, there will always be another solo, especially for you. Your voice is amazing, and I know you've had a little trouble adjusting to a new school but the Warblers would be crazy not to choose you. I know I'm not explaining things properly but I really need you right now. You're my best friend, frankly you're the only person I trust not to tell me I'm crazy so I know I'm asking a lot, but please, I promise I will do everything I can to get you another audition. Drive me away from here, just for today and then I'll never ask for anything else ever again."

Kurt stared at him in silence, eyes tracing over Blaine's earnest expression as Blaine lightly stroked at the skin of Kurt's wrist, where his fingers were still wrapped around.

"Please."

The tension in Kurt's body seemed to disappear as he sighed, glancing to the side as his eyes flickered back to meet Blaine's.

"Okay."

"Thank you! Thank you so much, you have no idea how much this means to me."

"I think I have some idea, I am giving up an audition you know."

"I know, and I'm so grateful, you- I love you so much for this."

"Yes well," Kurt tilted his head to the side, his cheeks slightly pink as he blushed at Blaine's words, "Let's just leave before a teacher comes out and gives us a detention."

"Right of course, lead the way."

Kurt marched forward, head held high as Blaine hurried to keep up with him as they made their way outside. It was only as they were reaching the final door that Blaine realized he hadn't let go of Kurt's hand.

* * *

There was a clock somewhere that was grating on Blaine's nerves, he couldn't see it hanging anywhere on the nearby walls of the café but he could hear the obnoxiously loud ticking and it was slowly driving him insane.

Kurt was seated on the opposite side of the booth, his knee jiggling up and down as his fingers drummed a beat on the table and he chewed at his bottom lip. Blaine was slowly sipping from a can of coke but Kurt had drunken at least five cups of coffee in the hour and a half that they'd been here and showed no signs of stopping.

"Do you think we're going to get kicked out?" Kurt turned to Blaine to ask, his eyes wide and serious even though his body was thrumming with nervous energy.

"No, the sign on the door says its open twenty four/ seven."

"Yeah but the waitress keeps shooting us looks."

Blaine slowly glanced over his shoulder, trying to be as subtle as possible as he glanced over at the waitress wiping down the counter. It was true that she was glaring as she worked, but that wasn't necessarily out of any resentment for the two boys. It wasn't as if working the night shift on a Tuesday was particularly pleasant for anyone.

They were the only ones sitting in the diner, it was ten minutes to twelve and Blaine and Kurt had needed someplace to stay as they waited for Wednesday to begin, preferably someplace that wasn't in Kurt's car on the side of the road. Kurt had seemed tired of driving anyway, he hadn't said anything but Blaine could see the tension building as it got later and later at night and Blaine still insisted that they stay out.

Today had been a pretty good day as far as Blaine was concerned, he knew Kurt was upset about missing his audition but Blaine had been serious when he said he'd get him another chance for the solo. The important thing right now was to escape the Tuesdays, to move on to a time where he could actually control his life and move freely.

"Well?" Kurt asked.

Blaine blinked at him surprise, completely forgetting what they had previously been talking about.

"Huh?"

"Do you think she's going to kick us out? Or call Dalton?"

"Kurt, we left our blazers and ties in the car. How would she know what school we come from?"

"Dalton's the closest school and we don't exactly look like we're over eighteen. It would only take the smallest amount of logic to piece it together and then suddenly the whole school board knows that we skipped."

"Stop panicking," Blaine rolled his eyes, "You're being ridiculous. There's no way she would make that connection, in fact she's more likely to figure out that we go to Dalton if you keep mentioning it so loudly."

Kurt slumped backwards into his seat, scowling at Blaine as he then turned to face the window.

Blaine sighed in frustration, rubbing at his forehead as he instantly regretted what he had said. He shouldn't have snapped like that, he knew Kurt was already on edge from missing his audition and leaving school with Blaine without warning. In Kurt's mind, Blaine had been acting normal all Monday only to have a panic attack Tuesday morning over something Kurt couldn't understand.

Blaine still hadn't told him all the details of why he was feeling trapped; he had no idea how to explain it without sounding crazy so he had decided to leave Kurt in the dark, hoping that Kurt would trust him enough to go along with his plan.

Kurt might be edgy and a little snappy, but he was still here.

He was still sitting in some dumpy diner with Blaine at 11:54 on a school night when he could be at Dalton, safe and warm in his room.

Blaine had no right to complain about anything Kurt said or did, not when after driving Blaine around all day he was still here. Who else would have agreed to come with him? Who else would have helped him besides Kurt?

"I'm sorry," Blaine said, leaning forward so Kurt could hear him clearly, "You're right to be worried. I did kind of drag you out here against your will."

"Blaine if I hadn't wanted to come, then I wouldn't be here."

Kurt still hadn't glanced away from the window but Blaine breathed a sigh of relief, glad that Kurt at least wasn't ignoring his existence.

"I know, but it was still my idea and I didn't give you much time to protest. You missed your audition for me and I know it meant a lot to you."

"But Blaine," Kurt said, his voice dripping with sarcasm, "I thought it was just one stupid audition. I thought it didn't mean anything and I was overreacting. What did you say? 'There are more important things than a solo, Kurt.'"

"I…"

Blaine dropped his head, pausing for a few seconds as he tried to think of the right thing to say.

"I shouldn't have said that. Believe me Kurt, I know more than anyone else how much you deserve to have a solo. I just… I needed you today. That doesn't mean it wasn't selfish of me to ask you to give up your audition, especially when I know how much you've practiced for it. It was important to you, and if it's important to you then it's important to me too."

Kurt seemed to pause at that, an unnatural stillness settled over his shoulders that made Blaine struggle to figure out what he was thinking. Kurt's jiggling had completely stopped by now but Blaine could feel his heart twinge in empathy as he took in how rumpled and tired Kurt looked, his hair was unusually messy and his shirt looked crumpled and creased, nowhere near the usual standards Kurt liked to present himself as. Blaine was really going to have to buy him an expensive thank you present once this was all over.

"Really?" Kurt finally said softly.

"Yes, you're my best friend. I want nothing more than for you to get the admiration you deserve. I'll talk to Wes and David tomorrow, I'll tell them how I forced you to come with me and wouldn't take no for an answer."

"Well," Blaine could see the corners of Kurt's mouth curving up into a smile as he turned to make eye contact, "You wouldn't have to go that far."

"Are you still angry at me?"

"No, I wasn't angry at you in the first place. Just worried and a bit hyped up on coffee."

"Yeah I was wondering about that," Blaine grinned, "How many cups have you had now?"

"That's not important," Kurt said, quickly changing the subject as Blaine smiled at him fondly, "In fact I think we should be focusing on why you're here. Are you feeling better?"

Blaine leaned back, turning the question over in his head.

"I think… yes. Just knowing that you would be willing to drive me out here made me feel better. I know this all probably seems crazy to you-"

"I transferred schools from McKinley," Kurt said dryly, "There is no way you can compete with the levels of crazy I have witnessed."

Blaine chuckled to himself, glancing up to catch Kurt's eye as they both grinned.

"Seriously though," Kurt continued, "I'm glad I could do something. I hate seeing you unhappy or upset, you helped me so much and yet sometimes it feels like you're unwilling to tell me about anything bothering you, as if you don't trust me enough or… or think I'll just be useless."

"Wow, wow, wow," Blaine frowned, latching on to one of Kurt's hands in alarm, "Why would you say something like that? Of course I trust you. Of course I do, how could you think that I don't?"

"It's nothing really, I shouldn't have said anything."

"Kurt," Blaine drew out his name reproachfully as Kurt glanced up to meet his eyes before looking away with a sigh.

"Believe it or not Blaine, but I can tell when you pull back from me, I can tell when you're upset about something and just don't want to say what. It kind of makes me feel like a crappy friend because I know something's wrong and I know you don't want my help."

Blaine blinked at him in surprise, realizing with a jolt that Kurt's words actually had a basis of truth to them. The other boy had a point of course, but it wasn't as if Blaine was consciously holding back. Any problems he had paled in comparison to his friends, what was the point of complaining about his parents or classes when he was surrounded by people with real problems?

He hadn't realized that Kurt had noticed though, he hadn't realized that Kurt might know him well enough to pick up when he was upset about something without Blaine outright stating it.

It made something warm twist in Blaine's stomach, he could feel a slight swarm of nerves but there was also something loosening in his chest. Blaine couldn't understand why he was feeling this way and tightened his hand that was gripping at Kurt's, trying to steady himself and think of a response.

"I… I'm not hiding anything from you. Not you specifically anyway, it's just… easier for me to keep it to myself. It doesn't mean I don't trust you or think you can't help me-"

"Well if you think that I could help you then why don't you let me in more often?"

"I've-" Blaine floundered for words, suddenly uncomfortably with the direction the conversation was taking, "Kurt, I've told you more than I've ever told anyone else. I told you about my family, I told you about Sadie Hawkins! Isn't that enough? Doesn't that show that I trust you?"

Kurt shifted backwards, pulling his hand out of Blaine's grip as he stared at him with an expression crossed between disappointment and frustration.

"You didn't tell me how those things made you feel though, you don't complain to me about your Dad when he calls you or bitch to me about any problems going on in your life. Even the Sadie Hawkins dance, you mentioned it to once to me and then never brought it up again."

"Well maybe I don't like talking about it," Blaine snapped, "Has that ever occurred to you?"

"Then why bring it up in the first place?" Kurt snapped back.

"Well excuse me for wanting to confide in someone about the scarring event that happened to me at fourteen! I apologize for not being emotional enough."

"But you didn't confide in me, you never do! You told me about it as if you were talking about a bad date you'd gone on."

"Don't be ridiculous."

"But you did! It almost sounded as if you were describing something that had happened to an acquaintance, or as if you were repeating a worded speech. When I tried to talk about how you felt or what happened afterwards you completely changed the subject, as if whether I had recorded the last episode of America's Next Top Model was more important than you being gay bashed at fourteen."

Blaine flinched at his words, grinding his teeth together as his hands clenched around the edge of the table.

"You are reading way too much into this."

"Am I?" Kurt spat, "Because I think I've figured everything out pretty much spot on. It's okay for me to be your pity project-"

"Pity project!" Blaine exclaimed.

"-It's okay for you to be the big strong mentor who I follow around like a puppy, but as soon as I start to turn into a real friend, as soon as I start to get closer to you then suddenly it's time to shut me out."

"You are my best friend!" Blaine cried, his anger giving way to confusion and bewilderment at how spiteful Kurt's words were, "And I've never shut you out, you're the one who's been pulling away! You're the one who's been distancing themselves."

"Only because I'm sick of being the vulnerable one in this friendship, I'm sick of liking you more than you like me. I don't want to become dependent on anyone, especially when at times it feels like they only view me as… as some kind of obligation."

"I don't understand where this is coming from; none of what you're saying is true! Maybe it's not about you Kurt, I mean has it ever occurred to you that maybe I just prefer to keep my problems to myself instead of dumping them all over my friends?"

"You think I'm dumping my problems on you?"

"That's not what I said! I said that I like to keep my problems to myself, not that anyone else should. Why is that such a big deal? I don't see why it's worth talking about."

"Really? Because I'm starting to think you just don't like the idea of anyone realizing that you have real human emotions," Kurt spat, "Maybe you don't want people to realize that you're just as flawed as the rest of us."

"Real human- I'm not a robot!"

"Then stop acting like one!"

The diner fell silent, both boys suddenly aware of how loud they had been arguing as the waitress watched them in obvious interest.

Kurt sighed, shoulders slumping forward as he rubbed at one of his arms.

"It's too late for this, I don't want to keep arguing with you, not when we're both obviously on edge and will regret it later."

"What did you mean when you said I was acting like a robot?"

"Blaine-"

"What did you mean?" Blaine demanded.

Kurt studied him with a tired look, suddenly seeming much older than seventeen years as a car drove past and the bright headlights lit up his face.

"That came out wrong."

"Just tell me."

"You have this distance, okay?" Kurt said, obviously still irritated by everything Blaine had said, "It's like people are only allowed to get so close to you and find out so much before you switch back into Golden boy and refuse to let anyone think that everything isn't perfect in your world. You're one of my closest friends Blaine, but do you have any idea how rejected I feel when Jeff comes up to ask me if I've talked to you yet about the phone call you had with your father two days ago, and I realize that not only have you not mentioned it, but you also pretended that nothing was wrong?"

"It wasn't a big deal."

"Jeff said that you looked like you wanted to cry."

Blaine crossed his arms uncomfortably and stared out the window so as to avoid Kurt's eyes. All he had wanted was to escape school for the day so he could get out of the time loops, he didn't want to have a big conversation about his insecurities and all the things Kurt thought was wrong with him.

"It wasn't a big deal," Blaine muttered again.

"I'm not fragile Blaine," Kurt said, a touch more softly as the frustration in his voice gave way to weariness, "I'm not going to break if you dump some of your problems on me. I don't need you to be my rock, I have my Dad for that. But being friends is a two way street, you can't just expect me to tell you about my problems and insecurities and then give nothing in return."

"It's just easier."

"For who?" Kurt asked tiredly, "For you? Me? I'm not asking you to bare your soul, but just letting me in occasionally would be nice. If you're upset about something then I want you to tell me. I might not be able to solve all your problems, but sometimes just telling someone else can make you feel better."

Blaine didn't reply, he had no idea what to say and instead continued staring out the window, avoiding Kurt's gaze with his arms crossed tightly.

Was this what Wes and David had been talking about before all the Tuesdays had started? Was this what they meant by distancing himself from Kurt?

He hadn't been doing it on purpose, he hadn't even realized. But some of the things Kurt had said rung a little too true and now Blaine felt as if he was on display, open and vulnerable to Kurt's eyes and words.

"What if I let you in," Blaine said quietly, still staring out the window as Kurt leant in to hear him, "And then you don't like me anymore? What if you think I'm needy or a coward or not the person you decided to be friends with in the first place?"

"That's not possible," Kurt said firmly.

"But what if-"

"It's not possible Blaine. I know you're not any of those things."

Kurt paused to breathe, drumming his fingers against the table as he frowned in thought.

"On the first day I met you I cried about my bullying problems and admitted that I couldn't handle it alone," Kurt said softly, recalling the memory with a distant expression, "You picked up all my phone calls and stayed up with me when I was panicking about going to school the next day. Then when my problems with Karofsky escalated you skipped school to help confront him and yet… you won't even consider telling me when you're having a bad day. Whatever you think, I seem to be the more 'needy' one in this friendship, or at least, I like you a lot more than you like me."

"That's not true!"

"Isn't it?"

"No," Blaine insisted, "You're the best friend I've ever had, you're the person I trust the most. I mean, do you think I would have asked anyone else to drive me out here? Do you think I would have trusted anyone else?"

"I don't know," Kurt sighed, tired again as he rubbed at his eyes, "All I know is that it's 11:58 on a Tuesday night and I'm sitting in some diner with you, skipping school just because you said you were feeling trapped and wanted to leave for the day. You haven't even given me a proper explanation and yet I'm still here."

"I can't explain it properly."

"Can't or won't?"

"Can't," Blaine said firmly, "And I'm sorry for making you feel like I don't want to talk to you about anything personal but it has nothing to do with you, I just… I have trouble letting people in."

"So do I, but I don't block you out completely."

Blaine didn't reply, instead watching Kurt slump back in his seat with his eyes closed. The other boy really did look tired and Blaine was starting to wonder if there was something else going on in Kurt's life that he didn't know about.

"You really are my best friend, you know," Blaine said.

Kurt opened his eyes and studied Blaine for a few silent seconds, finding nothing but sincerity written across Blaine's face, his mouth curved up into a small smile.

"I know, but I think you should say it more often. You're my best friend too."

"I'm sorry I made you skip with me, it was selfish."

"Don't apologize," Kurt said with a small shrug, "I would have come even if you hadn't asked. I would have liked to be back in time for auditions but frankly, you're more important to me."

Blaine felt his face heating up and he ducked his head downwards, a swooping tingling feeling settled in his stomach at Kurt's words as Blaine struggled to understand why he was having such a strong reaction to such a small sentiment.

"You're… you're really important to me too."

Kurt didn't reply immediately, but when Blaine glanced up again a few seconds later, he could see Kurt had a small, pleased smile tugging at his mouth.

"Yes well, it'd be nice to be reminded of that a little more often too."

"I will," Blaine promised, "I'll also try to let you in more, I wasn't really aware that I was distancing myself in the first place."

Kurt smiled at him, his eyes crinkling up at the corners in the way Blaine loved as Blaine smiled back at him.

"That's all I'm asking for."

The waitress had completely disappeared by now, bored that Kurt and Blaine had stopped shouting at each other and were talking quietly once more as Kurt closed his eyes again and rubbed at the bridge of his nose to try and get rid of some of the stress. Blaine could feel something churning uneasily in his stomach as the diner clocks ticking drew his attention once again, his fingers twitching as he started to tap his foot against the side of the booth.

"What's the time?"

"Um," Kurt checked his watch, "About fifteen seconds to twelve."

Blaine nodded his head, biting at his lip as he drummed his fingers against the table.

"After this we can go home, right?" Kurt asked, staring at him in concern.

"Yep, as soon as it turns twelve it's all over."

The clocks ticking was getting obnoxiously louder if that was even possible and Blaine could feel Kurt's eyes on the side of his face. He felt pinned in place and he wanted to rebel against the feeling, he wanted to jump out of his seat and run but there was something holding him still, something keeping him seated that whispered he needed to _'Wait and see'._

"Blaine?" Kurt asked, his voice sounding worried now as he watched Blaine tense, "What's wrong?"

The clock struck twelve and the whole room seemed to come to an unnatural standstill.

Blaine's shoulders sagged, his grip loosening on the table as his face broke into a grin. That was the signal, it was twelve o'clock and officially the fifteenth. He was still on edge from his argument with Kurt but the reason they had come out here, the reason he had made Kurt drive him around in the first place had been accomplished.

"Kurt, it's Wednesday. It's Wednesday and now-"

Blaine turned to look at Kurt with a beaming grin, anxious to leave now that he had been proven right when he caught sight of Kurt's face and felt the smile drop off his face.

Kurt was frozen, not like Blaine had been seconds before but actually frozen as if time had stopped. His eyes were wide and unseeing, staring at Blaine's face with a hand halfway between them as if he had been moving to get Blaine's attention.

Kurt had once fondly mentioned the nickname Porcelain that Sue Sylvester had given him, informing Blaine that it was actually quite flattering as far as Sue Sylvester's nicknames went. But now in this moment, with Kurt seated less than half a meter away from him with no signs of life, Blaine had never thought the nickname suited him more.

He didn't look dead, he looked like some kind of doll, so lifelike and real and yet completely cold to the touch.

If a stranger had walked into the diner at that very moment, they might never have known that Kurt had been alive in the first place.

A rush over came Blaine as he flinched backwards, the cold seemed to be spreading to him, seeping into his skin and down into his bones as it stole all his energy and will to fight back. His shirt was roughly yanked from him behind him and he could feel himself falling backwards, being tugged down through the chair and away from Kurt as he fell into some kind of void, darkness swarming up over him as it hid Kurt from view and completely blocked out his vision.

There was no sound or light as he fell, Blaine wasn't even aware when he had closed his eyes but instead tensed, preparing himself for the impact of hitting the ground.

It felt like he was dreaming, as if he was sliding through consciousness and was falling in between the two worlds with nothing to grab on to and nothing to slow his descent. Sitting with Kurt in the cafe seemed light years above him, far off in some special place that he would never be able to reach or climb to.

Blaine had lost all control, he was at the complete mercy of whatever was pulling him down and it was only when his back hit some kind of soft surface that he dared to let out a gasp of air.

The coldness seeped back out of him, disappearing almost as quickly as it had appeared as Blaine lay as still as he could, breathing deeply while he tried to regain his senses.

He had no idea what had happened, there was a small amount of light that crept in under his still tightly closed eyelids that let him know the dark had vanished, but he still refused to look. Blaine was still trying to piece together what had just happened, he'd been sitting with Kurt in the diner when Kurt had frozen. Then he'd fallen backwards (_'Backwards through his seat?_' He thought to himself with a frown, _'How was that possible? Had that really happened?'), _he'd fallen through some kind of void, his own body weight propelling him downwards until he had arrived here.

Something had tugged him down at first, something had grabbed on to the back of his shirt and pulled him right through the chair and then had yanked him all the way back to-

"_You make me feel like I'm living a teenage dream the way you turn me on, I can't sleep, let's run away, don't ever look back, don't ever look back-"_

Blaine's eyes flashed open as he scrambled for his phone underneath his pillow.

Switching it off, he glanced around in growing confusion and horror, taking in his very normal dorm room where not a single thing was out of place.

How?

He had been miles away from Dalton, miles away and sitting in a diner with Kurt. Blaine glanced down at his phone again, already suspecting what the date would be but needing a confirmation as he typed in the password.

Tuesday, 14th of May.

That was impossible, he'd been… it had been Wednesday night just minutes ago!

Blaine slumped back into his bed, letting his phone slide out of his grip and on to the floor.

He couldn't escape, no matter how far he ran he wouldn't be able to out run whatever had trapped him here.

Someone was controlling this though, someone was making sure that he was pulled back to this morning over and over again; Blaine had felt the hand on his back. He had felt them tugging him down, pulling him away and back into the time loop.

Blaine had no idea who it was, no idea who could have the power to do something like this but right now he was certain of one thing, he was completely out of his depth.


	4. Chapter 4

"If you're sure that this is normal for birds like Pavarotti," Kurt frowned, "I guess I'll trust your judgement. I'm just worried."

"You're doing fine," Blaine said tiredly, rubbing at his forehead as he kept in step with Kurt down the Dalton hallway.

"Hey Blaine," Terry brushed past, winking at him as he brushed his hand against Blaine's.

"Hey Terry," Blaine replied with a tight, forced smile.

"I'll see you later."

"Yeah, okay."

"Who was that?"

"Nobody, a guy from my maths class."

Kurt gave Blaine a suspicious look as Blaine sighed again, rubbing at his temple where a small headache was forming.

"Move to the right."

"Huh?"

Blaine pushed Kurt gently towards the wall as a boy rushed past them, his bag swinging out and nearly hitting Blaine in the side.

"Nice save, I don't see why everyone has to push so much, if you want to get to class earlier then leave early. It's that simple."

Blaine hummed in agreement, keeping Kurt up against the wall as the crowd of boys appeared from around the corner and rushed past them, laughing annoyingly loud and making Blaine wince in response.

"Blaine, can I talk to you about my audition?"

"Kurt, there's no need. I promise you, you'll be fine."

"I know I must sound like I'm panicking over nothing but it's just… really important to me."

"I know Kurt," Blaine had heard this speech eight times now, but he'd only needed to hear it once to understand how anxious Kurt was.

They passed by Sebastian making out with the tall blond boy as Kurt let out a sigh of frustration, grabbing Blaine around the wrist as he pulled him down the stairs.

"It's so crowded," Kurt muttered as the five minute warning bell sounded.

Blaine winced in agreement, his head throbbing as the bell seemed to intensify his headache to excruciating levels of pain.

"Blaine I think we need to stop avoiding the subject."

"What subject?" He muttered.

Kurt reached out to grab at Blaine's elbow, pulling him to a stop at the foot of the staircase.

"Are you coming to my… Blaine, are you okay?"

"Huh?" Blaine blinked at him, distracted by the sound of ringing that was still echoing around his head. He couldn't think clearly, black spots darted before his eyes and it was as if everything around him was slipping in and out of view. Something was wrong but Blaine couldn't figure out what. He couldn't even figure out if it was something wrong with the world around him or something wrong with him.

"You look sick," Kurt frowned, reaching up to place the back of his cold hand against Blaine's forehead as Blaine leant gratefully into the touch, "How much sleep did you get last night?"

"I stayed up past twelve again because I convinced myself that if I could stay up until the clock changed to Wednesday while in my dorm room, then it might all be over and things would go back to normal. But as everyone can see," Blaine gestured at the rushing students around them with one hand, using the other to rub at his eyes, "It didn't."

"Honey, you're not making any sense."

"My head hurts."

Blaine stepped forward, leaning into Kurt's chest as Kurt froze. With an almost timid hesitance, Kurt lifted his arms to hug Blaine closer, stroking gently at Blaine's back as Blaine nuzzled into Kurt's shoulder.

"Everything hurts."

"I'm sorry sweetheart, have you been to the nurse yet?"

"She can't do anything," Blaine pushed his face into the side of Kurt's neck, breathing deeply as he started to relax. He had no idea why Kurt had that effect upon him but he was definitely wasn't complaining.

"Nobody can do anything."

"Maybe you should go back to sleep," Kurt said in concern, tightening his hold to support even more of Blaine's weight. "I'll text Nick and Jeff and get them to cover for you. Nobody would blame you for wanting a day off."

"But I'm just going to wake up tomorrow morning and it will be today again, it will be the same thing and I can't handle it."

"Blaine I… I don't understand what you're saying."

"Go to breakfast meet you there, you're upset about Pavarotti and worried about your audition. Walk down the hallway say hi to Terry, I think he likes me-"

"Oh, so it's Terry, is it?"

"Then that guy who hits me with his bag, it's been eight times now and I kind of just want to yell at him but of course he won't remember. The group of boys from around the corner push past us and then the bell goes. You pull me down the staircase and we pass by Sebastian, making out with that brown haired… blonde boy?"

Blaine frowned and pulled out of Kurt's embrace, staring off to the side as he tried to remember.

"He had brown hair, I'm sure of it," Blaine muttered to himself.

"I… okay?"

"But he was blonde. He was blonde today, wasn't he?"

"I don't know-"

"Think!" Blaine turned to face him, slightly hysterical as he took in Kurt's worried expression.

"What?"

"When we passed Sebastian was he making out with a brunette boy or a blond?"

"Why does it matter? It's just Sebastian, he makes out with a lot of people, even he probably doesn't keep track."

"This is important! Was it a brunette or a blonde?"

"I- blonde? I think?"

"Blonde," Blaine reeled backwards, eyes widening as he struggled to force down the burst of panicky laughter. "He was blonde."

"Yes," Kurt said slowly, watching Blaine with obvious worry, "I think we've agreed upon that, so what?"

"Because everything stays the same!" Blaine exclaimed, "Everything stays the same except me! And now something's changed, Sebastian changed something and he knows, he's in on this whole thing and I have to talk to him."

"Blaine I think you need to calm down." Kurt took a cautious step forward, holding out a hand to try and make him stop pacing, "Not to be mean but you're kind of starting to act like a crazy person."

The bell rung above them and Blaine's head darted up in panic.

"I have to find him."

"Who? Sebastian?"

"Yes, I've got to go."

Blaine pushed past him running up the stairs as he ignored Kurt's confused and slightly hurt expression.

"Blaine, you're going to be late for class!"

Blaine didn't respond, hurtling up the stairs as he glanced from left to right with a wide eyed panic, hoping he hadn't missed them.

What if Sebastian wasn't there tomorrow? What if Blaine's only lead completely disappeared because he had been wasting valuable time talking to Kurt?

A flash of blond disappeared around the corner and Blaine felt his chest untighten. He gasped in a relieved breath of air as he clutched at his bag strap and chased after it, his school shoes hitting the ground loudly as his bag nearly slipped off of his shoulder. He raced down the now empty corridor, ignoring the full classrooms as he focused all his attention on rounding the corner.

Throwing himself to the right, Blaine barely stopped himself from exclaiming in delight as he caught sight of Sebastian and the blond boy walking down some stairs only thirty meters or so away.

He had been right, Sebastian had changed something and out of everyone in the school they were the only ones who realized what was going on.

Sebastian must have known that Blaine was aware of the repeating Tuesdays, he'd been there every morning as Blaine and Kurt had passed; he'd heard the conversation change just slightly every morning. He would have known and yet he still hadn't tried to seek Blaine out, he hadn't said anything.

Why hadn't he said anything?

"Sebastian!"

Blaine jumped down the stairs, taking them three at a time as the two boys ahead of him ground to a halt.

"Sebastian, wait up!"

Sebastian turned back to face him, looking slightly confused before he realized who was yelling at him and his face dropped into his usual smirk. The blond boy watched Blaine approach with a frown, murmuring something to Sebastian who waved him off with a carefree hand as Blaine came to a stop next to them, panting as he tried to catch his breath.

"We need to talk."

"Do we?"

"Yes," Blaine spat, heart still beating wildly at how fast he had been running.

"Well, if you insist." Sebastian turned to his friend, gesturing for him to leave, "I'll catch up with you later."

"I-okay," the blond boy blinked in confusion, hesitantly shuffling away while casting suspicious looks between Blaine and Sebastian.

"Oh God," Sebastian sighed when the other boy had finally disappeared from sight. "He probably thinks we're sleeping together."

"Sebastian what the hell is going on?"

"Someone's tetchy, has anyone told you that you need to get laid, Anderson?"

Blaine groaned in frustration, suddenly remembering why he and Sebastian didn't spend much time in each other's company.

"Just- can you not?"

"Fine, fine, here," Sebastian gestured to a nearby study room, "Let's talk in there, that way if you decide to throw a temper tantrum you'll be saved the embarrassment of losing face."

Blaine didn't respond, turning on his heel as he marched into the study hall and away from the filled classrooms.

"_Calm," _He told himself, he just had to get through this one conversation with Sebastian and everything would go back to normal.

"_Calm,_" this would be over as soon as he got Sebastian to agree to act logically.

"So Blanderson, what seems to be the problem?"

"Oh, as if you don't know," Blaine spat, fist clenching as he turned around to see Sebastian reclining casually in a chair, feet crossed underneath the table.

"Now, now Blaine, we have to use our inside voices."

"What the hell is happening to me?"

Blaine stalked over to Sebastian's side, pulling out a chair as he sat down; ready for the other boy to claim he had no knowledge of what Blaine was talking about.

"Puberty? Finally?"

"_Sebastian."_

"Fine," Sebastian sighed, drumming his fingers on the table as he tilted his head thoughtfully, "Have you ever seen Groundhog day?"

Blaine blinked at him in surprise, pausing in his anger as he turned the words over in his head.

"…what?"

"Groundhog day? It's a classic 90's movie but a bit before your time. How old are you now? Fourteen? Twelve? Anyway, if you'd seen it then you'd realise that the main character was in a similar predicament to yours."

"Repeating Tuesdays?"

"Exactly, anyway he went through like a million of those and nearly went crazy before blah blah blah he pulled his head out of his ass and realized what had been staring him the face all along."

"Which was?" Blaine asked, still confused as to what Sebastian was talking about.

"A girl, well really it was more like he was stuck in his ways and wasn't open minded and needed to live his life or he'd be stuck in a rut, but you know, the message was get out there and live your life and he got the girl in the end so you could kind of say it was about love."

"I don't understand what you're saying- girl, I'm gay Sebastian, how does that movie have anything to do with what I'm going through?"

Sebastian sighed and rolled his eyes, fixing Blaine with a condescending stare as he leant forward on the table to make his point.

"Stop being an ass, get your life together. I cannot make it any simpler than that."

"What do you even have to do with all this? How is this even possible?"

"Okay, okay, now that one's a bit harder to explain."

Sebastian slid back in his chair, for the first time since Blaine had started to talking to him he didn't seem patronising or belittling but instead sat with a scowl on his face, arms crossed as he stared off to the side.

"It… I kind of screwed up. A while ago."

"Really?" Blaine raised an eyebrow, trying to squash the brief flash of satisfaction at how petulant Sebastian looked, "What did you do?"

"I kind of… I pissed off some very important people, I mean at the time I had no idea, it's not like I intentionally set out to piss them off but I don't think they cared. Anyway, I have to serve out time for five years and then my sentence will be repealed and I can forget this nightmare ever happened."

"Sentence? What's your punishment?"

"I… think of me like a cupid."

"Cupid? The fat naked baby in the diaper?"

"I said think of me like a cupid," Sebastian snapped, "Like a cupid, idiot. I go around and set people up and try to fix all the mistakes they've been making during their boring, tedious life spans. It is the most painful, dreary thing you can think of."

"You said fix all the mistakes they've been making," Blaine frowned, "What does that mean?"

"Well I can't go back in time and try to clean up your crap, if I could I would have gone back in time to stop you from dunking your head into that barrel of gel the first time you decided it was a good idea."

Blaine subconsciously reached up to brush his hair, scowling at Sebastian who flashed him a smirk.

"No, what I do is much more boring. I find people whose lives are going nowhere and set them on a time loop until they wise up and stop acting like complete morons. Sometimes I hang around to make sure everything's going fine or because I get the opportunity to make out with guys without them remembering it, but apart from that I go back to my time line and wait for them to join me."

"My life isn't going nowhere! My life was fine until you decided to intervene."

Sebastian groaned loudly, slumping forward to rest his head on the table as he stared at Blaine in disbelief.

"Really? Are you really serious about this?"

"I'm lead soloist of the Warblers-"

"So what? What does any of that mean? You're unhappy, it doesn't take a genius to work it out."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"I've looked around, I have to investigate a little bit before zapping people into a time loop. I tried to find out who you were close to, best friends and aspirations and stuff like that but the only person people could suggest was Kurt. It made me start wondering, I mean, what was your life like before you lovebirds met? You seem so irritatingly happy all the damn time that I'm starting to wonder if you're just really fake."

"I'm not fake!" Blaine exclaimed hotly.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever you say," Sebastian rolled his eyes, "At times it kind of feels like you're sabotaging yourself, which makes you miserable which makes Kurt miserable which makes people who are forced to be around Kurt miserable. Just a quick pointer, I'm forced to share a French class with him like three times a week. You are indirectly making me miserable."

"Why do you even care Sebastian?" Blaine snapped, "Even if I am supposedly miserable or-or Kurt's upset about something I thought you'd be enjoying this, does your punishment really make you go out of your way to help people you hate?"

"Hey! I resent that, me and Kurt have struck up quite the friendship. The common goal of laughing at our fellow classmates in French brought us together and made me realize that maybe I don't hate him quite as much as I thought. I mean when I first got to this school the idea of getting into your hobbit sized pants was an enjoyable one with the added bonus of pissing off your sort of but not quite boyfriend."

"Kurt is not my-"

"Whatever," Sebastian waved a hand in dismissal, "But after a long time of being turned down even though you're technically single and I'm the hottest thing that has ever graced the Dalton halls, I kind of got bored and moved on."

"Which I shall forever be grateful for," Blaine said through gritted teeth.

"Your loss anyway, right? I'm going to be frank here Blaine, your obliviousness is not only ruining any chances you might have to be happy which usually I'd ignore because hey, it's your life to screw up and everything, but when you start messing with other people's happiness that's when I have to step in."

"Ruining other people's happiness? Who? Whose happiness am I ruining?"

"Oh Blainers," Sebastian laughed, "I can't tell you that, it doesn't work unless you solve the puzzle for yourself. I've practically given you all the pieces though, if you don't figure it out in the next three days I'm going to be seriously embarrassed on your behalf."

"You haven't given me anything, all you've told me is that somehow I'm screwing up my life and I'm messing up someone else's happiness and I'm going to be stuck in this nightmare unless I can fix it. I have no idea who to talk to or what to do and you seem to be treating this like it's a joke!"

"Calm down cowboy," Sebastian held up his hands in appeasement, "This isn't my first rodeo you know, I've been doing this for a while now and everyone eventually gets it in the end."

"What do you want from me?" Blaine sighed, feeling the anger drain out of him as he realised that Sebastian wasn't going to give him any more help. He knew he should have expected this, but he couldn't help feeling incredibly let down.

"I want you to notice what's right in front of you."

Sebastian smiled at him, not his usual smirk but an actual smile as if he could sense Blaine's frustration.

"It's really not that hard Blaine, and I promise it will all be worth it in the end."

"That's a matter of opinion," Blaine muttered.

"Lighten up champ, wait till you figure it out, you're gonna hate yourself for being so thick. Now," Sebastian turned to look at his watch, "I am severely late for class and I've got a blond to smooth things over with, so don't stress it and I'll see you around."

"That's it?" Blaine asked in disbelief, watching Sebastian stand up from his chair and reach for his bag, "That's all you're going to offer? 'Don't stress it'?"

"Blaine, I've given you everything you need. Don't focus so much on being perfect and start looking around for all the things you've been overlooking. If I make it any simpler a two year old could figure it out so stop whining about how difficult it is, I chose this day for a reason Blaine."

"And that reason was?"

Sebastian laughed, shaking his head as he fixed Blaine with a stare.

"Nice try but not gonna happen, good luck Blaine, hopefully the toxic amounts of gel you rub into your hair hasn't affected your intelligence levels or this day could go on for a very long time. I'll see you around."

With these words Sebastian left the room, shooting Blaine a wink over his shoulder as he closed the study room door behind him.

Blaine sat in silence, thinking over what Sebastian had said as he tried to make sense of everything. What if he couldn't figure it out? Would Sebastian let him out of the time loop or give him another hint? What if Blaine spent the rest of his life reliving the same day over and over again, and not even a good day, but just a normal boring Tuesday?

Nothing had happened today.

Nothing but classes and homework assignments and talking briefly with Wes and David about Warbler's auditions while they were walking down the hall together.

Nothing had happened! Why would Sebastian 'choose this day for a reason'?

Something Blaine was overlooking… what did that even mean?


	5. Chapter 5

"If you're sure that this is normal for birds like Pavarotti," Kurt frowned, "I guess I'll trust your judgement. I'm just worried."

Blaine didn't reply, furious in thought as he walked with Kurt down the hallway. He had barely contributed to the conversation since Kurt had appeared at his breakfast table that morning, anxious about Pavarotti and wanting approval for his audition.

"Hey Blaine," Terry brushed past, giving him a coy smile.

"Hey Terry," Blaine looked up in time to give him a smile in return.

"I'll see you later."

"Yeah, okay."

"Who was that?"

"Just some guy from my maths class."

Blaine bit his lip, barely conscious of the several students rushing around him as he nudged Kurt over to the side.

"Move to the right."

"Huh?"

Blaine pushed Kurt gently towards the wall as a boy rushed past them, his bag swinging out and nearly hitting Blaine in the side.

"Nice save, I don't see why everyone has to push so much, if you want to get to class earlier then leave early. It's that simple."

Blaine didn't reply, not even pretending he had heard what Kurt said as he kept him pressed up against the wall. The crowd of boys appeared from around the corner and rushed past them, laughing and joking but Blaine ignored them completely, walking on auto pilot as he thought furiously about what his next move would be.

"Blaine, can I talk to you about my audition?"

Sebastian wasn't here today, he wasn't even making out with the blond haired boy like Blaine had suspected. He had just completely disappeared.

"Blaine, are you even listening to me?"

Right, so Sebastian wasn't here, that didn't mean there was any reason to panic. He was overlooking something, being oblivious and accidently self sabotaging himself, was it in this corridor? Had he been passing the problem every day? Not noticing that anything was wrong and sabotaging any chances he had for happiness?

"Blaine? Anyone in there?"

It was tugging at the corner of his mind, a soft smile, a flutter of eyelashes, and the brush of their hand against his.

Could it have been someone he was overlooking, and not something?

"Blaine?"

"Terry!" Blaine exclaimed.

"Sorry?"

"I have to go talk to Terry."

"Any reason why?" Kurt asked, reeling slightly in confusion.

"I'm going to ask him out," Blaine beamed at Kurt, "Isn't that great?"

Kurt froze in place, coming to a sudden halt as Blaine continued walking for a few steps only to stop and look back in confusion.

Kurt was staring off at something Blaine couldn't see, his face carefully blank as his hands clenched around his bag strap. His shoulders were tensed and his back perfectly straight, it seemed Kurt had disappeared behind his shields and Blaine had no idea what had set him off.

"You're going to ask him out?" Kurt asked slowly, turning to look at Blaine with that same indifferent expression.

"Absolutely, I mean it all makes sense now. I've sat next to him in class for months and I guess I knew he liked me but I was just subconsciously blocking it out. I always thought he was cute but sometimes I can be so oblivious, God, this is it. This is what Sebastian was talking about."

"What does Sebastian have to do with any of this? Did he tell you to ask Terry out?"

"Sort of, I mean I guess so, I don't have time, I have to go ask Terry out before he disappears."

The five minute warning bell rung above them and Blaine's head darted up in panic.

"I have to go catch him, I'll see you later Kurt."

Blaine jogged away from him and back down the corridor, pushing past people and apologising profusely as he hurried to catch up to the disappearing boy.

Terry liked him, he might have even liked him for months and Blaine had done nothing about it. Unrequited love made people miserable, Blaine knew this first hand from Jeremiah and by becoming Terry's boyfriend he could make them both happy.

Boyfriend!

Blaine had never been someone's boyfriend before, but he loved the idea of it. He'd wanted to have a boyfriend, have someone just to himself since before he'd even realized he was gay.

He was going to be Terry's boyfriend and they would go on dates and kiss and be in love and everyone would be happy and Kurt would stop worrying about him and the repeating Tuesdays would stop and-

Blaine cut himself off, smiling to himself as he shook his head.

He was getting too far ahead; he should probably ask Terry out on a date first.

"Terry!" Blaine called, watching as the other boy turned around curiously, pausing just outside his classroom door.

"Wait up."

"Blaine? What's wrong?"

Terry stared down quizzically at him as Blaine paused for a moment to find the right words.

Terry was cute, Blaine had always believed that but he'd never given it much thought beyond passing notice. Now that he stood there with the other boy, he finally paused to give him a second once over.

Dark brown hair that stuck up a little at the back, not quite Kurt's chestnut colour but still a nice colour nonetheless, his eyes were a smooth brown and while his forehead showed a little redness from acne, the rest of his face was mostly clear.

Kurt would probably have started suggesting skin care products if he ever met Terry, a snarky voice piped up from somewhere in Blaine's head, of course no one was able to have as perfect skin as Kurt did but Blaine didn't blame them, Kurt was kind of in a league of his own when it came to looks.

"I was wondering if you would like to go out to dinner with me."

"Like on a date?"

"Like on a date," Blaine confirmed with a smile.

Terry's face broke into a grin, straightening up as he realized what Blaine was saying.

"Sure, awesome, I know a great Mexican place like twenty minutes from here, are you busy Friday?"

"No!" Blaine exclaimed quickly, receiving a confused look from Terry, "I mean, I'm busy Friday, how about tonight?"

"Wow, eager," Terry said with a laugh, "Tonight it is then, I've got homework but I'd rather pick you over some geology assignment."

"Oh," Blaine flushed slightly at the compliment, trying to force down his beaming smile as he dug his hands into his pockets, "Thank you, I mean… me too about you. I mean, I'd rather hang out with you than do homework too."

"Cool," Terry laughed slightly at Blaine's stammering as Blaine grimaced in embarrassment, "I guess that's sorted then. I'm thinking about seven, yeah? We can meet in the entryway and I'll drive us in my car."

"Sounds great."

"Awesome," Terry grinned, "So I'll see you there, then?"

"Absolutely, see you later."

Terry turned into his classroom, giving Blaine a smile over his shoulder as the bell rung and a couple of students pushed past Blaine to enter the classroom too.

Blaine bounced up and down on the balls of his feet giddily, his face breaking into a huge smile as he tried to stop himself from cheering loudly. He had a date tonight, a date with a cute boy who liked him whom he had been overlooking for months now and after this date it would be Wednesday and Blaine would have a boyfriend.

Tomorrow Blaine would have an awesome boyfriend and an amazing best friend and be lead soloist of the Warblers and his life would be the best it had ever been.

Everything was finally working out for him, he could feel it.

* * *

"Kurt?" Blaine knocked on the door, wiping his sweaty palms on his jeans. His ankles felt a little bare with the rolled up cuffs but it had been so long since Blaine had dressed himself that he couldn't help but indulge a little.

After pacing around his room for almost ten minutes he had given up, rushing over to Kurt's room before he had to leave. It was 6:40 and he was meant to meet Terry in twenty minutes but he couldn't stop worrying about the way he looked. He'd called Kurt almost ten times for a second opinion but the other boy hadn't picked up, twenty minutes till his date and Blaine was now set in panic mode.

He'd never been on a date before, what if he looked completely ridiculous?

"Kurt? Are you in there?"

Blaine was about to knock again when the door swung open and Blaine beamed upwards, his smile faltering as he caught sight of Kurt's face.

"Kurt, what happened? Are you okay?"

Kurt gave a small smile that didn't reach his eyes as he leaned against the door frame, letting the smile fade away slowly as he struggled to pretend he was fine. His eyes were red rimmed as if he had been crying recently and his hair was a complete mess, not only that but he was dressed in his pyjamas, an oversized t-shirt and comfy looking, plaid bottoms. For some reason Blaine had had the impression that Kurt only slept in silk, and to see him looking so casual but obviously upset struck something deep inside of Blaine.

"I'm fine."

"You're obviously not," Blaine said gently, reaching for Kurt's hand, "Talk to me, what's wrong?"

"Nothing," Kurt sniffed and rubbed at his face, "I've just been having a really bad day."

"I'm sorry, is there anything I can do?"

"No," Kurt laughed quietly to himself, "No, it's kind of out of your control."

Blaine stood still for a few moments, still holding Kurt's hand as he tried desperately to think of a way to make things better. He hated seeing Kurt upset, out of all of his friends Kurt in pain always affected him the most deeply, almost as if he could feel Kurt's pain himself.

"Don't worry about that, here," Kurt tugged Blaine into his room, shutting the door behind him, "Let me take a look at you."

Being a midyear transfer student meant that Kurt had been given his own room for the foreseeable future, if there was another transfer he would be placed with Kurt but right now Blaine and Kurt both enjoyed the benefits of having a bedroom where they could hang out together and watch movies alone.

The room was usually in perfect condition but right now it looked, well, Blaine wouldn't say a mess, but it was looking more cluttered than usual. Kurt's bag had been dumped next to his bed with his books spilling out across the floor, his desk was covered with papers and his uniform seemed to be dumped over his chair.

Just looking around, Blaine would have been able to tell that Kurt had been having a bad day even without Kurt telling him.

"You wear bow ties?"

Kurt interrupted his thoughts by reaching up to touch the dark blue bow tie lightly, brushing his fingertips across the fabric with gentle care.

"I have a collection," Blaine admitted, slightly breathless at how close Kurt was standing.

"I knew we were best friends for a reason, I have good taste," Kurt grinned at him, "I like it. It has a sort of dapper, old Hollywood charm not seen since the 1950's. Not only that but the dress shirt you paired it up with works well, light blue and white stripes to set off the dark blue bow tie. Good choice Blaine Warbler, more people should dress like you."

"You think so?" Blaine lit up at the approval.

"Definitely, and the cardigan was a nice touch."

Blaine beamed again, bouncing on the balls of his feet as Kurt laughed, raking his eyes up and down.

"Yes, you look amazing. Terry's going to love it."

Kurt's voice dropped slightly at the end of his sentence and Blaine frowned, watching as Kurt's shoulders seemed to tense again.

"Kurt…"

"I hope you have a great time," Kurt seemed to be steeling himself, disappearing behind his shields as Blaine watched in dismay, "He seems like a great guy even though you've never mentioned him before today."

"I'm sorry, it was kind of a split decision to ask him out. I tell you everything, you know that."

"Yeah, of course."

There was a huge pause as Blaine felt his stomach sink, he could physically feel the space between them. He knew it was a trick of his mind but it was almost as if the room was stretching out, pulling Kurt away from him and leaving a tense, dangerous silence that Blaine had no idea how to fix.

"You should probably go soon, he'll be waiting for you downstairs."

"Yeah, right."

Blaine paused, he didn't want to leave, not when Kurt was upset for some reason and Blaine felt as if he had done something wrong.

"You know you're more important to me than him right?" Blaine tried, complete sincerity colouring his voice, "You're my best friend and no boyfriend would ever make me care more about him than you. You're always going to come first to me."

"Because I'm your best friend," Kurt said dully.

"Exactly!"

"And that's all I'm ever going to be."

"I… yes?"

Kurt sighed, wrapping his arms around his stomach as he gave Blaine a bitter smile.

"That's all I needed to hear, go to your date Blaine. I hope you and Terry are very happy together."

Blaine paused again, hovering half way between Kurt and the door. Kurt's voice had now lost any pretences of warmth and warning bells were going off in the back of Blaine's head. Something was wrong, he had screwed up somehow and Kurt was pissed off.

"I…"

"Just go Blaine, you don't want to be late."

"I'll text you afterwards," Blaine promised as he made his way over to the door, "I'll tell you all about it afterwards and we can talk about your day properly."

"Joy," Kurt said, sarcasm dripping from his voice as he rolled his eyes, "I look forward to your call."

Blaine hesitated in the doorway, glancing back at Kurt as he smiled weakly.

"I'll see you later."

"See you."

Blaine closed the door gently behind him, pausing as he closed his eyes. He hated feeling like he had disappointed people, but Kurt being angry at him was the worst. Maybe if he brought back some cheesecake from that café Kurt liked so much, Kurt would be more willing to talk.

Blaine smoothed his cardigan down, taking in a deep breath of air as he tried to calm himself down. It was just one measly date, he looked good, Kurt had said so himself and Terry was a really nice guy. Blaine knew all this was true and yet he couldn't stop himself from wondering if maybe he was walking in the wrong direction, he couldn't help but wonder if maybe he should have cancelled on Terry and stayed until Kurt had admitted what was wrong.

It would be rude to cancel now though, Terry had agreed to go out on a Tuesday night when he probably had other important things to be doing. Blaine couldn't just back out at the last minute.

He would only be gone for a couple of hours, Kurt could wait until then. With that thought firmly in mind, Blaine squared his shoulders and started to make his way down to the entry hall.

What could possibly go wrong in a couple of hours?

* * *

"I guess I mostly like listening to rap you know? Like Eminem and Pitbull, stuff like that. I know you Warbler guys perform a lot of pop stuff-"

"I like rap songs too," Blaine hurried to correct him, smiling as he leaned forward over his tapas, "I mean we do perform a lot of top 40 but we're just trying to appeal to the general public, songs that everyone will enjoy."

"Well maybe you should think about doing some rap," Terry waved a napkin at him, dropping it in a ball on the table as he licked the sauce off of his fingers with a sucking, smacking noise.

Blaine refrained from flinching, he could feel his inner Kurt sneering and snapping something about table manners but he pushed it down with a smile. Terry was just a regular boy, a lack of table manners was to be expected.

"I don't know," Blaine said hesitantly, "I don't think rapping would work well with an acapella choir."

"Yeah, but it's always good to freshen things up a little, right?"

"I guess so."

There was a pause in conversation as Blaine took a bite of his taco. The food was good but Blaine still hadn't figured out a way to eat it without dripping all over himself. Right now he was tilting his head to unnatural angles to try and eat it over the plate.

"What kind of music are you into?" Terry asked.

Blaine glanced up at him, smiling around his mouthful of food.

Terry was dressed in a red soccer shirt and faded blue jeans, his sneakers were scruffed up and he'd looked entirely casual when Blaine had greeted him in the entryway. Looking around the restaurant, Blaine had quickly realised he was the best dressed person there. It was slightly jarring, he certainly didn't dress like Kurt did with his eccentric and quirky outfits but Blaine honestly hadn't expected to look out of place with just a bowtie.

But first dates were meant to be casual right?

Maybe he had been over thinking everything when he had gotten dressed.

"I'm guilty of liking a lot of top 40, but I have a lot of other music interests as well," Blaine grinned at him, "I mean who doesn't love the Beatles?"

"Oh yeah, the Beatles are cool."

"You should see my best friend's ipod, he has everything from Lady Gaga to Rufus Wainwright to… to French rock. It's insane."

"Oh yeah," Terry nodded his head, trying to appear interested, "You know, I like a lot of the classic rock as well."

"With the guitar solos?"

"Uh huh," Terry grinned, "If it's not rap or like crazy techno, then I like songs with insane guitar solos. It gets me pumped in the morning when I workout."

"Totally, although I can't even begin to tell you the amount of terrible songs I have on my ipod just because I like boxing to the beat."

"If you say Justin Bieber then I'm afraid you're going to have to make your own way home."

"No!" Blaine laughed, "I'm not that bad. Although there was a time when I found myself addicted to Friday by Rebecca Black and my best friend threatened to throw my laptop out the window."

"Friday? I refuse to be associated with you."

"It was a dark time in my life. Don't judge me."

Terry laughed, shaking his head as he caught Blaine's eye and they both grinned. Blaine relaxed back into his seat, smiling happily as he watched Terry eat, despite his first initial nerves everything was going well. They were going to be fine.

"Turning away from music before you reveal any other dark secrets-"

Blaine pretended to be insulted as Terry laughed.

"-are you interested in any sports?"

"Oh, a couple. I follow football and of course I box and fence regularly. The fencing I'm not really… it was more a sport I took to look good on my college resume. But I watch football fairly often."

"I'm into basketball, I go to a lot of games with my friends. Have you ever seen a game?"

"Not really, I think I saw like a couple minutes once but I didn't know the rules and didn't know the teams."

"Well maybe I'll take you to a game one day."

Blaine glanced up in surprise, hand clenching around his glass as he felt his breath catch in his throat.

"Really?"

"Yeah, but only if you want to."

"No, it sounds great. I'd love to come with you."

Terry grinned at him as Blaine smiled down at his lap; this was going exactly as he had hoped. The restaurant wasn't that bad, there were a couple of families here and at times the noise was a bit loud but the waiters were nice and the food was good. Maybe after the date was over, he and Terry could go for a walk. There might be a quiet park around this area and it was a nice enough night.

Blaine shifted in his seat, trying to ignore the way his phone sat like a rock in his pocket, it's heavy weight was a constant reminder that Kurt was on the other side and upset about something.

Blaine wished he had had time to make Kurt feel better before leaving, watching Kurt's sad face as he closed the door was the one thing stopping him from having a completely relaxed, carefree date. Although again it was just a first date, maybe Blaine was over thinking it. Maybe every first date was a little awkward and uncomfortable. He was just getting to know Terry and Sebastian had wanted him to ask the other boy out for a reason.

"It's really cool how you're into sports and everything."

"Thanks I guess," Blaine laughed, jolting out of his thoughts.

"No I mean, when I came out as gay my friends all thought that meant I would turn into a completely different person, like as if I'd start dressing differently or talking differently. I just want people to see that being gay doesn't mean we all turn into stereotypical TV gay guys."

"Oh I know!" Blaine straightened up in his seat, enthused about the new topic of conversation, "The way TV presents gay guys as comic relief or one dimensional characters, it's like, we're so much more than that you know? And then people get the wrong idea, I mean how many gay TV characters do we see paying bills or waiting in line at the post office? We're so much more than side characters who offer wise words of advice to their female best friend, being gay isn't all I am."

"Exactly!" Terry exclaimed, "I'm so glad you agree with me, I want more characters that like football and go surfing on weekends. You know? Not those stereo typical, likes shopping and broad way and fashion but real men. It's like TV producers have no idea what gay people are actually like."

"Uh yeah," Blaine faltered at Terry's words, "Because even if they do like all those things then there's nothing wrong with that, a gay guy who likes Broadway and fashion shouldn't be the punch line of a joke."

"Ugh," Terry took a sip of his drink, putting it down to lean back into Blaine's space, "Those guys are jokes though, and to think they actually exist in real life! I thought they were just characters on sitcoms and then I came to Dalton and met a few face to face. Honestly, can't they see how pathetic they are? That's why I like you Blaine, you're gay but you don't feel the need to shove it in everybody's faces."

"Well I don't think those types of gay guys are trying to shove it in everybody's face either," Blaine shifted back uncomfortably, suddenly wary of the direction in which the conversation had gone, "I think they just enjoy different things and don't see anything wrong with it or see any reason to change themselves, I really admire that."

"Really?" Terry pulled a face, laughing slightly as he shook his head, "I don't get that. I mean, they're obviously putting on that whole girly, I'm-so-flaming-gay thing to get attention. It makes the rest of the gay community look bad because people start associating us with them. Wasn't there one of those gay guys on the Warblers? Where you just need to look at him to know he was into guys? What was his name…"

"Look Terry," Blaine bit his lip, tapping his fingers on the table, "Everyone's allowed to have their own opinions and I respect that, but I myself actually like Broadway and fashion and I don't see why-"

"Kurt Hummel!" Terry exclaimed, "That's right, you know him, yeah? Being lead soloist and all. Why can't he just tone it down? Have you seen the things he adds to his uniform and the way he talks? It doesn't make sense to me, why would you identify as gay and then act like a girl? No one's going to want to date him unless he starts acting like an actual guy and not so obviously flaming. I bet you like, ten dollars that he gets all hysterical when someone says he looks like a girl; well if you want to be a boy then you should act like one, that's all I'm saying."

Blaine sat frozen in place, fist clenched around the edge of the table as he stared across at Terry in complete shock.

"Excuse me?"

"Kurt Hummel, he's in the Warblers with you, right? He transferred here midyear and all the rumours are saying it was because of bullying back at his old school. I can see why though, I mean if you go around looking like he does then you're just asking to be attacked."

Terry chuckled to himself, shaking his head as he leaned back in his seat, giving Blaine a lopsided grin as he shrugged his shoulders.

"Seriously, what else did he expect to happen?"

"He wasn't asking for anything," Blaine snapped, "Nobody deserves to be bullied, especially not because of the way they like to dress themselves or because they like a certain type of music. How can you say that?"

"Look, if you make yourself a target then you can't expect people not to-"

"So we should all just pretend to be straight and try to blend in?"

Terry recoiled in confusion, suddenly starting to realize that he had said something wrong as he took in Blaine's tense facial features.

"Of course I don't think we should pretend to be straight Blaine, it's just-"

"Have you ever been bullied for being gay?"

"What?"

"Have you ever been bullied for being gay?"

"I- no."

"Then you have no idea, absolutely no idea how difficult it is to-to be honest to yourself and to stay strong and to not change who you are when faced with hundreds of people who hate you and think you're wrong. Kurt is my best friend and he's so much braver than you could ever be and frankly, he's a lot more interesting than you. I'd rather talk to him about Broadway and fashion than talk about basketball with you any day."

"Blaine-"

"Here," Blaine pulled out his wallet, reaching blindly for a couple of notes as he threw them on the table, "That should be enough for my half of the meal. I'd appreciate it if you didn't talk to me or Kurt ever again."

Blaine got up quickly, his chair screeching across the floor as he ignored Terry's irritated cry of his name. Several customers glanced over in curiosity and Blaine ignored their eyes, feeling a flush of embarrassment as he realized that many of them might have heard the conversation.

"_Good," _a small part of him insisted. At least they would have been able to hear him calling Terry out and might have learnt a thing or two themselves_._

How could anybody dislike Kurt? How could anybody be gay and think of themselves as being above someone else in the gay community because of the way they dressed or the hobbies they liked?

Damn, Blaine should have mentioned that Kurt was a mechanic.

Or that Blaine was into all those stereotypical gay things as well. In Terry's eyes, would that mean that Blaine wasn't a real man either?

He got enough of that crap from his father, he didn't need it from his boyfriend as well.

Blaine fumed to himself as he repeated their conversation over in his head, running through the way Terry had laughed and shrugged as if what he was saying was normal and nothing to get upset about. Had there been any signs before this? Any signs that Terry had been… what was it called?

Effem- Effete- Effemiphobic; that was it.

"_Not a real man," _Blaine scoffed to himself with an eye roll, hugging himself tighter around the middle as he stormed away from the restaurant and down the street.

No, there had been no signs that Terry felt that way and this whole thing had just come out of nowhere.

God, Blaine just wanted this stupid night to be over.

It was only as he was crossing over a road, pulling his grey coat tighter around him that he realized with a sudden jolt and groaned in frustration. Terry had been his ride home.

Stupid Terry with his stupid face who was probably right now in his stupid car, driving back to Dalton.

With a frustrated sigh he turned into the shelter of a nearby door and reached into his pocket for his phone, dialling the numbers he already knew by heart.


	6. Chapter 6

"Well hello there stranger, hop in."

"Thank you so much for this," Blaine sighed in relief as he opened the passenger door to Kurt's car, pausing for a second to shake the water off of his jacket. A light rain had started up while he was waiting to Blaine's dismay and he carefully wiped off the worst of the water before climbing inside. Blaine knew how much Kurt loved his car.

"You have no idea how grateful I am."

"Yeah well, what are best friends for?" Kurt smiled at him from the driver's seat, watching Blaine fiddle with his seatbelt before pulling away from the curb, "I'm just glad to be of use."

"This night was a complete disaster. I can't believe I asked him out, what was I thinking?"

"They say love is blind," Kurt hummed happily, seemingly in a much better mood than when Blaine had talked to him an hour ago.

"I was not in love with him," Blaine muttered darkly, arms crossed across his chest as he scowled out the window.

"It can't have been that bad, what did he do exactly?"

"He insulted you."

"Wait, what?"

"I know right!" Blaine exclaimed, throwing up his hands in frustration, "What's his problem?"

"I've never had a conversation with him in my entire life. Usually people at least meet me face to face before they start bitching about me behind my back."

"He thinks there's something wrong with the way you dress or talk or… whatever."

Kurt bristled at that, straightening up as he shifted angrily.

"My fashion sense is impeccable-"

"I know!"

"-and just because some cretin in a soccer shirt who couldn't see good taste if it hit him in the face doesn't understand my choices doesn't mean that my clothes are in anyway beneath him or not practical for everyday life-"

"Exactly!" Blaine interrupted angrily, slumping back in his seat.

A silence seemed to settle over the car as Blaine rubbed at his eyes tiredly, breathing out steadily and slowly as Kurt's fingers flexed around the steering wheel.

"He called me girly, didn't he?" Kurt said quietly as he stared straight ahead. Blaine twisted in his seat to face him.

"What?"

"He said that I looked like a girl."

"No! Well… not outright."

"It's okay Blaine, it's not the first time someone's called me a girl and it certainly isn't going to be the last."

"Well it's not true," Blaine replied fiercely, staring Kurt down as the other boy avoided his eyes, "You're not girly or weak or-or lesser because you own woman's sweaters or sometimes buy girl's boots. You're the bravest, strongest person I know, braver than anybody else I've ever met and certainly braver than me."

Kurt didn't reply, his face emotionless as his eyes darted over to Blaine's side to gauge if he was being serious. Blaine leant back in his seat, his voice softer now as he tried to make Kurt understand.

"You look like a boy, you talk like a boy and nobody has the right to say that you don't. There's no such thing as a checklist to tick off how much of a guy you are, the idea of that is just..." Blaine paused in exasperation, searching for the right words, "It's ridiculous. You're a lot braver than Terry is, a better person too. Walking stereotype… I can't believe he started insulting you in front of me, what did he think was going to happen?"

"I guess he thought you didn't know me very well, or that everybody would just agree with him."

"Yeah, well he's just a…"

"Jerk?" Kurt supplied, his mouth quirking up in amusement.

"Yeah," Blaine hunched over, still scowling out the side of the window as most of his anger started to disappear, "He's a jerk."

The car was quiet after that for a minute or two, both boys lost in their thoughts as Kurt leaned over to switch on the radio so as to fill the silence. Rain was bouncing off the top of the car roof, dribbling down the windows as Blaine drew shapes in the material of his seat and watched the rain drops collect together and fall.

Some bright, bubbly song had just started playing and Blaine felt himself begin to relax as he heard Kurt humming along, his fingers no longer tight around the steering wheel but tapping along to the beat as he relaxed in the comfortable silence.

"He didn't even compliment my bow tie."

"He didn't?"

"No," Blaine slouched to the side, hating how childish he sounded. It shouldn't have been a big deal it's just… this was his first date. He'd kind of wanted Terry to notice the effort he'd put in to getting dressed.

"Well I guess that's just another sign that he wouldn't know good fashion if it hit him in the face. I love your bow tie, it's very dapper."

"Thank you."

Blaine turned to smile at Kurt, oddly pleased when the older boy beamed back at him.

"I mean, thank you for everything. I know driving out here probably wasn't what you had in mind for tonight."

"No, it's fine, I enjoy the company."

"I still feel bad, you've had a terrible day and then I had to leave and I couldn't talk to you about it and now I'm making you come pick me up-"

"Blaine!" Kurt interrupted abruptly, "Relax, I said it was fine, don't worry so much. I know you'd do the same thing for me if I ever needed you to."

"Of course," Blaine replied, ignoring the slight twisting in his stomach at the thought of Kurt going on dates with other boys.

He was just overprotective, as tonight had proven there were a lot of ignorant, hateful people out there. Blaine didn't want Kurt getting involved with someone who would end up hurting him, Kurt had already been through enough.

"What are you doing tonight?" Kurt asked, snapping Blaine out of his confusing thoughts.

"Huh? Oh, not much probably. I might listen to a bit of music before going to sleep, I didn't really have anything planned besides going on that date with Terry."

"Forget about him, come sleep over in my room instead."

"What?"

"I have a single all to myself, we can watch your favourite movies and eat ice cream and bitch about how terrible Terry is. C'mon," Kurt grinned over at Blaine, fluttering his eyelashes persuasively, "You know you want to, it's what best friends do after horrible dates."

"Well…"

"Yes?"

"I do have homework…"

"Do it tomorrow! Tonight's about eating and complaining."

Blaine laughed, shaking his head before giving in to Kurt's bright smile.

"Fine, you've convinced me."

"Yes!" Kurt bounced up and down in his seat, enthusiasm radiating from every part of his body, "This is going to be amazing, I'll stop at a gas station on the way back to pick up supplies, usually I don't lower myself to such standards but I think everything else is closed at this time of night. What do you want to watch? Moulin rouge?"

"Ugh," Blaine wrinkled up his nose, "Not tonight thank you."

"How about Rent?"

"Can we please watch a movie where nobody dies? I'm not in the mood to cry myself to sleep."

Kurt seemed to deflate, a quick series of emotions flashing across his face before he straightened up and nodded his head slowly.

"Right, a movie where nobody… dies. Good, I agree."

"Are you okay?" Blaine asked curiously, watching as Kurt's shoulders tensed at the question.

"I'm fine, it's just… it's been a bad day."

"Want to talk about it?"

Kurt glanced over at him, seemingly scanning him up and down to take in his messy hair and askew bow tie with rain water still soaked into his jacket.

"Maybe later," He replied quietly, smiling at Blaine to ease his worries as he turned back to face the road, "Right now I think we should focus on drowning our problems in ice cream."

"Good idea."

"I know, I thought of it."

Blaine laughed, relaxing as he leaned back into his seat. The head lights and street lamps lit up Kurt's face, casting dark shadows across his cheekbones as Blaine trailed his eyes over the other boy's features. Terry had been a mistake and unless the purpose of these repeating Tuesdays was to figure out how bad of an idea it would be to date him, Blaine would be waking up tomorrow for his tenth Tuesday in a row.

He couldn't summon the energy to be angry though, not when Kurt was so excited next to him and rambling about all the things he had planned for later tonight. Blaine would figure it out sooner or later, laws of probability stated that he had to find the answer eventually and if Sebastian was to be believed, it would all be worth it in the end.

It had to be, right?

Blaine sat tucked away in one of the many library corners, spinning his phone slowly in circles around the polished circular table.

* * *

Day 40.

It was his 40th Tuesday and Blaine was starting to wonder if he would be stuck there forever.

Somewhere above him Blaine could hear the ticking of a clock, counting down until midnight when the day would restart all over again. He had tried everything, he had tried absolutely **everything **and still he was here.

It had been a month since his date with Terry, a month since he had watched movies with Kurt in Kurt's room, watching the older boy drift off on his shoulder as their breathing synchronized together and Blaine let himself be lulled into a peaceful sleep.

The next morning he had woken up alone in his dorm room, his phone blaring out Katy Perry with Jeff's bed absent and rumpled. It had been disheartening to say the least but he had gotten up anyway, smiling at the boys he passed in the hall as he made his way determinedly to his classes.

Over the course of the last thirty days he had payed attention in every lesson and answered every question.

Then he had stopped paying attention and hadn't even pretended to get his books out.

He had skipped class completely and walked aimlessly around the school, even going outside to wander around the neighbourhood.

He had learnt the names of the janitors and the cafeteria ladies and sat next to everybody in his class at some point or another, asking them about their lives and if they needed help with anything and what he could do to make their problems easier. Quite a few boys had seemed in awe that the famous Blaine Anderson had wanted to talk to them, stuttering over their words as they gave him nervous glances.

It had been flattering at first, but now it was starting to become irritating and confusing. What had he done to garner such a reaction? How many of these people actually knew him?

For the first time since Blaine had come to Dalton, it may have slowly started to dawn on him that he didn't have quite as many friends as he thought.

Admirers yes, team mates and study partners and guys he smiled at in the hall, but it was through sitting down with new people every day that Blaine had come to a confronting realization.

He barely knew the people he had always thought of as friends. He discussed Warbler issues and problems with homework; he talked about the fencing team with the guys on the fencing team and gay rights with the members of the LGBT squad. He had clear conversation structures that he repeated over and over again with the boys around him but he didn't talk to them about personal things, about things going on in their lives like fights and break ups.

Usually Blaine would have considered that to be rude, he would have considered himself to be above gossiping and pushing himself into conversations which didn't concern him but now as he sat in the library, mentally counting off people he knew well and trusted, he realized that what he had initially thought to be a long and in depth list was in fact quite short. All those people he had thought he trusted, they knew nothing about him.

They knew nothing about his family, nothing about Sadie Hawkins, nothing about his life before Dalton. Had he been isolating himself without even realizing it?

Blaine had somehow convinced himself that the fake, confident persona he'd created when he'd first come to Dalton had disappeared with time, but instead it seemed he had just gotten so used to using it that he'd forgotten it was there in the first place.

He could remember himself at fourteen; photographs of back then almost looked as if they had been taken of another boy all together. He'd been alone and scared and insecure about everything, jumpy after the Sadie Hawkins attack and wary of the safety Dalton had promised. He'd become more confident when he transferred, but how could he know if that had been real confidence he'd been projecting or confidence he desperately wished he could have?

Blaine had known for a long time that everyone around him saw the Blaine that he wanted people to see. Everyone around him saw the carefully maintained image that he worked hard to keep. But it was deeper than that, what Blaine was starting to suspect was that the Warbler's weren't just seeing the Blaine he wanted them to see, but that they were seeing the Blaine they wanted to see as well.

What would happen if they saw a version of Blaine they didn't like? How long could Blaine pretend he had everything under control?

It was with a slightly shaky hand that Blaine picked up his phone, sliding it up open as he tapped at the screen until his list of contacts came up.

Cooper Anderson.

The first name he had on his list.

Blaine had pressed the button to call him before he was even aware of what he was doing, holding the phone up to his ear as he swallowed nervously.

Ringing.

Ringing again.

He hadn't talked to Cooper in months, he'd gotten a phone call on his birthday but that had only been so Cooper could apologise about not coming to see him, something about not being able to afford the plane tickets and he was auditioning for some kind of commercial and the director had winked at him and Blaine had stopped listening half way through.

Still ringing.

The phone clicked as someone picked up and Blaine straightened his back, opening his mouth to speak as a thousand thoughts filled his head.

"¡Hola mis amigos! You have reached the voicemail of the one and only Cooper Anderson, unfortunately for you; I'm not here to grace you with my presence, HOWEVER!" Cooper yelled suddenly, making Blaine flinch, "If you were to leave your name and number I'll get my secretary to get back to you-"

_What secretary? _Blaine rolled his eyes.

"-and if you're looking to offer me a job you can contact my agent at Beverly Hills' talent agency for the ridiculously talented and we'll try to fit you in. Ciao mon ami!"

The phone beeped and Blaine sat in a stunned silence, trying to think up something to say as he suddenly realized he was being recorded.

"Right! Sorry, hey Cooper, it's me. Blaine, your younger brother," Blaine flinched, hating that he felt as if he had to remind Cooper who he was, "Anyway I was just calling to say hi, I haven't talked to you in… wow, I can't even remember, a long time anyway and I just wanted to see how you were. I'm fine, doing great you know… actually I'm not fine at all. I've just been feeling… really alone lately, I kind of need someone to talk to and well, what are brothers for?"

Blaine laughed weakly, trying to ignore how close he felt to crying.

"So I was wondering if when you get this-"

The phone beeped loudly, signalling the end of the recording as there was a long pause before Blaine could hear the dial tone beeping quietly.

Slowly lowering his hand, he dropped his phone to the floor.

That was just typical.

What had he been expecting?

Cooper would get the message and write it on a post it note but then he'd forget about it. After a certain amount of time the note would be taken down and thrown in the bin and then Blaine would be forgotten about. It was the same cycle that had been going on since Cooper had moved out.

In fact, why was Blaine kidding himself? Cooper had been ignoring him and incredibly self absorbed since the moment Blaine had been born.

He loved Blaine, Blaine sort of knew that, but he was so distanced and barely a part of Blaine's life. He wouldn't notice if Blaine had dropped off the edge of the earth until the school contacted his parents and Blaine's mum called Cooper up to leave the news in a voicemail.

When was the last time Blaine had talked to his parents?

He'd talked to his mum sometime last month, she was on a book tour and then would be joining his father in Chicago on his business trip.

Blaine couldn't remember the last time he'd had a real conversation with his dad, a conversation beyond 'How is school going?' 'Have you thought about what universities you'll be applying to?' 'Blaine, do you really think your show choir crap is going to lead anywhere?'

His parents had always been a little distant but there wasn't much Blaine could do about that.

Who else did he have at this school? Who did he have in total to rely on?

Kurt was the immediate response.

Kurt was his best friend, the only person who really knew him and still liked him regardless, who didn't care about the confident, lead soloist that everyone seemed to be in love with, but instead liked the Blaine who danced on furniture and could be a little oblivious at times.

But other than Kurt, how many of Blaine's friends had no idea what he was really like? Did they know his favourite movie? His favourite book or song? Did they even know simple things like his birthday?

Blaine sat in the corner of the library, hunched over as he hugged himself tightly around his middle.

He was alone.

Was this the big revelation that Sebastian had wanted him to have?

Well great, fantastic, Blaine had finally realized that he really only had one true friend.

Did he get to wake up now? Did he get to move on to Wednesday and join the rest of the world?

Blaine might not be as lonely as he was when he was fourteen, but he was still alone. The Warblers didn't know him, not really, and it made Blaine wonder how long it would take them to turn on him if someone better came along.

Oh, God.

Blaine sat up straight, eyes widening as he realized what he had just thought.

There was always someone better, someone who was a better singer, whose dance moves were more fluid, who had better ideas for the team. They'd probably even be taller too with hair that didn't need to be covered in gel to control.

They would transfer to Dalton and within minutes become the favourite, they would be made lead soloist and Wes would ask Blaine "Are you sure you don't mind?" and Blaine would laugh and shake his head and say "Of course not, it's all about what's best for the team, right?"

Blaine minded a lot actually.

He needed to be lead soloist, who was he if not the lead of the Warblers?

Kurt would probably like the new guy more than him, he'd ignore Blaine's phone calls and go hang out with the other guy and slowly forget about Blaine and the fact that they were friends.

Blaine already hated the new transfer student and he didn't even exist.

Blaine was replaceable, the thought left him feeling hollow, especially when he thought about Kurt slowly forgetting and then ignoring him.

He could almost picture it, the hundreds of students around him laughing and going out with friends and setting out into the world while he was left behind. The few friendships he had now would fade with time and he would graduate with empty promises from the boys around him to meet up sometime, and three empty chairs in his graduation audience where his family was supposed to sit. Nobody cared about him, Kurt was right when he said that he kept people at a distance but maybe it was true that others kept him at a distance too.

The hard truth was that Blaine was isolated and lonely and starting to feel as if he was just playing a part. He didn't know how he'd become this person who couldn't connect with others, who couldn't be the sort of person others would want to keep around. He felt expendable, replaceable. The worst part was the Blaine had no idea how to fix it.

"I've been looking for you everywhere!" Kurt dropped his books on to the table, making Blaine jump up in shock, "I've had four different people text me to ask where you are. I mean seriously, do I look like your babysitter? What are you doing here anyway?"

"Thinking," Blaine muttered, reaching down to pick up his phone and slide it back into his pocket.

"Ah," Kurt sat down and dragged his chair closer to Blaine's side, "Family, school or other?"

"Excuse me?" Blaine looked up in confusion.

"Family, school or other? What's bothering you?"

"I-" Blaine blinked in surprise, taking in Kurt's sympathetic expression as he tried to sprout the words, "Family and school. I suppose you could also say other."

"Rough day?"

"Something like that."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

Blaine didn't reply, biting his lip as he clasped his hands together, staring down at his lap. He could feel Kurt's gaze on his face but it didn't feel piercing or as if Kurt was trying to drag the information out of him, it was calmer, gentle.

Blaine was really going to miss him when Kurt lost interest in Blaine and started hanging out with the new transfer student.

"Blaine?"

Blaine paused, ready to make up some kind of excuse when the words caught in his throat.

"_Let me in," _Kurt had said, _"Tell me when you're upset, let me help you."_

The idea of letting himself be vulnerable still terrified Blaine a little, but if there was anyone in the world that he felt close enough to talk to about his problems with it would definitely be Kurt. Besides, he had promised he would try to open up a little more, it didn't matter that Kurt couldn't remember their conversation, Blaine remembered and he knew that he should at least try it once to see if it did any good.

If he left the conversation feeling worse then it wouldn't even matter, everything about this day would be wiped from Kurt's mind by the time the clock stuck twelve the following night. It was with this thought in mind that Blaine took a deep breath, raising his head to make eye contact with Kurt.

"I don't have friends here," Blaine admitted quietly, the words difficult to force out as Kurt leant in to hear him more clearly, "My family doesn't talk to me and it's only going to be a matter of time before someone better comes along and replaces me as lead soloist. I thought I was popular and happy, but these people don't know me, they only like the Blaine who's confident and-and perfect."

"Hey, where's this coming from?" Kurt pushed his chair closer, his hand hovering over Blaine's uncertainly for a few seconds before he closed his hand over Blaine's tight fist.

"Of course you have friends here."

"Nobody knows me, they don't know about my family or interests besides a few general things. I think Wes and David know I have problems with my dad but I've never gone into much more detail than that, I don't know anything too serious about them either. I'm meant to be one of their best friends and we don't… talk."

"Well maybe you just need to give them a chance, open up a bit more, go see a movie together with the guys."

Blaine was shaking his head before Kurt had even finished his sentence. He wrapped his hands around Kurt's, wanting desperately to have more physical contact but not knowing how to ask.

"They won't like me, they only like me when I'm perfect and good at everything and golden boy or whatever. We won't have anything to talk about."

Kurt pulled his chair up right next to Blaine and tugged him closer, wrapping his arm around Blaine's shoulders as Blaine breathed a sigh of relief and leant into Kurt's embrace, resting his cheek against Kurt's shoulder.

"You don't know that; don't write them off before you've even tried. They already love you."

"They love the fake me, I'm fake."

"You're not fake! So what if you sometimes act more confident than you feel? This may come as a shock to you but so does everybody else. We all act differently in public than we do by ourselves, its normal."

"I'm not fake around you," Blaine mumbled.

Kurt's hand clenched around his bicep, hugging him tightly as Blaine nestled into the curve of his shoulder.

"I'm not fake around you either, I never have been."

"I'm just so tired of feeling alone."

"You're not alone, you have so many friends here Blaine, even if you're not as close as you'd like to be. You have me as well, you're my best friend."

Blaine didn't reply, twisted into Kurt's side as he closed his eyes and breathed deeply. He could feel a lump in his throat and knew that if he tried to speak he would probably end up crying.

Above all the repeating Tuesdays had made him feel isolated, Sebastian had disappeared and now Blaine was completely alone, the only person on the entire face of the planet who was aware of what was happening.

The day reset over and over again, the same conversations with the same people as everyone went about their day in routinely order. Blaine was the odd one out, the only one left out of the reset with no one to talk to about how he was feeling and no one who could understand.

The levels of loneliness he was reaching was starting to remind him of middle school.

"I heard you quit the fencing team."

"How'd you hear that?" Blaine looked up in surprise.

He'd bumped into one of the team members accidently while wandering around during his third lesson and they had immediately started rambling about practices and team equipment cleaning and a whole manner of other things. It had only taken thirty seconds before Blaine had snapped and told them he was quitting to get them to shut up and leave him alone. Although it had been a rash decision, it had felt surprisingly good. No matter what he did it would be forgotten by this time tomorrow, but for some reason having one less obligation eased the knot in his chest and made him breathe a little easier.

"Jake from the team texted me," Kurt replied in answer to Blaine's question, "I'm starting to get worried about how these people have my number and why I'm seemingly the go to person when you do something out of character."

"I've never liked fencing," Blaine muttered, distracting himself by tracing shapes on Kurt's knee, "At least not enough to pursue it full time but my dad said it was a man's sport."

"Are we getting into the family section of your problems?"

"I always have family problems."

Blaine sniffed and rubbed at his eyes, trying to ignore the way they were stinging as he forced himself not to cry. Kurt's left hand was rubbing over the back of Blaine's, tracing up and down his fingers and across his knuckles in a slow, comforting pattern.

"What happened?"

"My dad… I have no idea how he feels about me, he seems uncomfortable whenever we're alone together and I can't ignore the fact that he views me as some big disappointment. I haven't talked to my mum in a month and the only thing consistent about Cooper is that he will always ignore my phone calls. I don't understand why I'm not good enough. I try so hard but it's like I can never quite make it. I'm not enough to hold their interest, I'm not a good enough son or brother and sometimes I feel like a complete disappointment. Sometimes it feels like they've forgotten about me completely."

"You haven't done anything wrong-"

"Then why does it feel like I'm constantly screwing up? Rachel, Jeremiah, Terry…"

"Wait, what?" Kurt pulled back frowning, "What happened with Terry? Who's Terry?"

"Just some loser," Blaine sniffed again, pushing his face further into Kurt's neck, "He's not worth your time."

"Well if he's so terrible Blaine, then he's probably not worth your time either."

"I just don't understand, I don't know what I'm doing wrong."

"Sweetheart," Kurt sighed, resting the cheek against the top of Blaine's head, "I don't know if you've noticed, but it's kind of in your nature to be not only a perfectionist but also a people pleaser."

"People pl- you're a perfectionist too!"

"Yes, well, I didn't say it was a good thing."

"I…" Blaine sighed, "What's your point?"

"At times it's endearing and makes me like you even more. But at other times I think you're only hurting yourself. It feels like you're pushing yourself to be perfect every minute of every day, and I'm worried you're going to wear yourself out."

Blaine paused for a minute or two, letting the words sink in as he considered what Kurt had just said. He could feel Kurt's breath brushing against the top of his head and for some reason it made him want to curl up smaller into Kurt's side and fall asleep, letting all his worries be brushed aside in the protective circle of Kurt's arms.

"I just want people to like me," Blaine said quietly.

"I know. I want people to like me too."

"But you don't care if they don't, you don't try to change yourself to fit in. You're just you, you don't let anybody tell you what you can or can't do."

"I'm flattered you have such a high opinion of me," Kurt raised an eyebrow, "But even I do a certain amount of conforming. I'd probably do anything my dad asked of me, I told you about the horrible flannel incident of sophomore year, didn't I?"

"Yes," Blaine smiled half heartedly at Kurt's wry tone before sighing and closing his eyes, trying to push everything that was bothering him away.

There were a few moments of silence as Kurt's fingers traced circles into the back of Blaine's hand, leaving goosebumps in their wake. Blaine tried to ignore the shiver it sent up his arm every time Kurt stroked gently across his knuckles and in between his fingers, enjoying the comfort he was being offered.

"You shouldn't feel pressured to do anything you don't want to," Kurt said softly, his words seeping into Blaine's skin as he listened with his eyes closed, "It's only high school. In a couple of years it's going to be over and no one will care if you were on the fencing team or debating team or student council. It looks good on a college resume, but if you're not enjoying yourself then there's no point in doing it."

"You make it sound so easy," Blaine muttered.

"Yeah well, that's the rule I live by. I don't like watching football but I'll agree to watch a game or two with my dad because watching it together makes him happy, which makes me happy. I quit the cheerleading team because although they were popular and it would look good for college I didn't like the people and the schedule was insane. I'm more a yoga sort of person anyway."

"You do yoga?"Blaine perked up in interest, "Wait, you were a cheerleader?"

"You can't force yourself to enjoy something if you don't like it and frankly, what does it matter if other people want you to do it? It's your life, if your dad likes the idea of fencing teams so much then he can go join one himself. It's not your job to go out of your way to relate to him."

"It's easier though, it's easier if we have common ground to talk about and not topics that will lead to a fight."

"If it's making you unhappy then it's not worth it. Your dad's the one who should be trying to relate to you and if he doesn't like the fact that you like singing or that you're gay then that's his problem."

Kurt paused for a second, squeezing at Blaine's bicep as he started to talk again in a slightly softer voice, "I can't really give you a lot of advice on your family life seeing as my own has always been fine, but I do know that if they can't be bothered to become involved in your life then they don't deserve a place. You're amazing; it's their problem if they can't see that, you haven't done anything wrong."

"Really?"

"Yes," Kurt said firmly.

Blaine smiled into Kurt's shoulder, feeling the lump loosen in his throat as some of the tension seemed to leave his shoulders.

"Thank you, I mean…"

"I know."

Kurt stroked his hand down Blaine's arm, Blaine shivering slightly at the feeling as his whole arm seemed to tingle.

"How are you feeling?"

Kurt's hands were very distracting and Blaine had to pause for a few seconds before the question sunk in.

"Better, much better now. Sometimes it just…"

"Piles up?"

"Yeah," Blaine sighed, sagging into Kurt's side again, "I can't think straight and then I start stressing myself out. It's like I get buried under all these obligations and I forget about everything else. Someone told me not that long ago that I'm kind of oblivious and often overlook what's most important."

Kurt remained silent for a few seconds, still dragging his fingers up and down the sleeve of Blaine's blazer.

"While I may agree with that in certain aspects-"

Blaine pulled back to look at him in surprise and slight hurt.

"-I don't think you should spend so much time worrying about it. What does it matter what anyone else thinks? They're not you. They don't know what it's like to live your life. They don't have any right to judge."

"I suppose so…"

"Lead soloist of the Warblers isn't all you are Blaine, and being on the fencing team or getting straight A's doesn't make you a better human being or more of a likeable person."

"I know that, but-"

"No. Stop thinking that you need to accomplish something or be perfect to be of worth, I like you the way you are and you should too. Who else would be able to talk football with my stepbrother and Dad but still understand the finer points of vogue and Broadway?"

Blaine smiled reluctantly at that, ducking his head bashfully.

"I guess so, I just… is it wrong to want to be the best at something? To be noticed and wanted?"

"Of course not, it would be pretty hypocritical of me to say that knowing some of the crazier things I've done to get attention. But there's a difference between ambition and obsession, and willing to give up your own happiness for a goal that may or may not pay off is just going to lead you down a dangerous, crazy road. Think Rachel Berry crazy."

"The horror," Blaine grinned as Kurt rolled his eyes fondly.

"You know what I mean."

"I do, I-"

Blaine cut himself off, leaning back against his chair with a sigh as Kurt pulled his arm back from around his shoulders.

"Thank you," Blaine said softly, eyes darting up to meet Kurt's, "Thank you for being my best friend and for skipping class to come find me. Thank you for caring about me enough to listen to my problems and thank you for always being there for me when I need you. I don't deserve you."

"Yeah well, don't beat yourself up about it, I'm out of everyone's league."

Blaine laughed as the faux haughty look disappeared from Kurt's face, settling into something more sincere as he leant forward to meet Blaine's gaze.

"I'm really glad I met you Blaine, sometimes I might get irritated at you or upset, but at the end of the day you should remember that I'm always so grateful that I get to have you in my life."

Blaine smiled, feeling the threat of tears pushing at the back of his eyes as he pressed a hand to them, trying to make the feeling disappear.

"Thank you," He said again, wishing he had more adequate words to describe what everything Kurt had said meant to him.

"Don't thank me it's the truth. Besides," Kurt sat up straighter to grin at Blaine in almost conspiring way, "You shouldn't worry that people won't like you. If anyone says anything mean I'll use my martial arts knowledge to tackle them to the ground."

"Three and a half classes of a self defence course that your Dad signed you up for is not martial arts knowledge, Kurt," Blaine chuckled weakly, smiling despite himself as he rubbed at his eyes, "As I remember it you quit after two weeks because the instructor wanted you to take off your scarf."

"It was a completely bizarre request."

"He said it was a choking hazard and would get in the way of the practical exercises."

"Look Blaine," Kurt fixed him with a patient stare, "If I get attacked in a dark alleyway at night, nine times out of ten I'm going to be wearing a scarf. The obvious thing to do would be to learn how to fight while wearing one, if my instructor was too pig headed to see that then it wasn't my fault."

Blaine laughed, ducking his head as his shoulders shook in amusement.

The tension from their previous conversation vanished as Blaine rested back into his chair, grinning as Kurt rolled his eyes.

"Okay, I guess you have a point there."

"I'm always right, the sooner you accept that the easier your life will be."

Blaine smiled at Kurt in amusement, his eyes still prickling slightly from the build up of tears but most of the emotions had simmered down to a relaxed state.

"Seriously Blaine," Kurt dropped his tone to lean forward and place a sympathetic hand on Blaine's knee, "It's not too late for you to become more involved with other people if you want to. You're sixteen, go out to movies with the guys, strike up conversations with new people to try and find things you have in common, who knows, you might even make friends with people you've never considered. You're entirely too charming for your own good, I'm sure there are a whole heap of people who would love to be closer to you."

"You think so?" Blaine asked hopefully.

"Absolutely. In fact it might get people to stop asking me if you're okay and whether they should bring a fruit basket around and are there any types of fruit Blaine's allergic to. I swear to this day I still have no idea who gave Trent my number but he needs to stop spamming my inbox. In fact maybe you should start with him, go tell him you're okay. Immediately or as soon as possible, my phone needs a break."

Blaine laughed again, squeezing Kurt's hand where it rested on his knee.

"Thank you," He said, trying to inject as much sincerity into his voice as possible, "Thank you for everything."

"Well," Kurt said with a shrug, "What are best friends for?"


	7. Chapter 7

It's been a while since I've updated and I'm very sorry about that, exams kind of snuck up on me and suddenly I found all the work I'd been avoiding while writing this story was due at around the same time. The good news is, is that I've finished this fic completely and will start uploading the rest of the chapters at a steady pace. Thank you to everyone who has reviewed! Your comments are delightful and I love reading them. But before you continue reading:

**TRIGGER WARNING.**

This is the lowest this story will get and this chapter might be a little intense for some. If you think you might be triggered by a **suicide scene** or at least an **attempted suicide** then please stop reading. Thank you again, and I hope you all enjoy!

* * *

"_Jeff is always half a step too slow. He continuously bumps into Nick which throws off the timing and I don't care what he says, it's incredibly noticeable from where I'm standing."_

"_Wes?"_

"_Yes?"_

"_Can we talk about something other than Warbler issues? I wanted to talk to you. How are you doing? What's going on in your life?"_

"_I-" Wes blinked in surprise, studying Blaine curiously, "Nothing really."_

"_There must be something going on."_

"_Well now that you mention it, I have been having a lot of problems with Claudia lately."_

"_Claudia?" Blaine pulled back, trying to recall the name, "Who's Claudia?"_

_Wes's face creased into a scowl as he crossed his arms tightly over his chest._

"_My sister," Wes muttered darkly._

* * *

"_I said I liked his hair yesterday and all he said was 'thanks'. Thanks! Who even says that?"_

"_Wait I'm sorry," Blaine held up a hand to stop Jeff's tirade, "I think I'm lost here. How long have you been in love with Nick?"_

"_It feels like forever," Jeff sighed miserably, "I keep bumping into him at practice to try and get his attention. Do you think it's working?"_

"_Uh, yeah! He really- maybe you should think about trying something else."_

_Jeff groaned, burying his face in his hands as he slumped forwards._

"_This is terrible, I'm getting nowhere. I can't believe I'm asking you of all people for advice on how to catch an oblivious guy's attention."_

"_Well I suppose that- wait," Blaine frowned, "What's that supposed to mean?"_

* * *

"_I don't even really know if she likes me like that, she keeps making hints that she wants me to ask her out but then she's always flirting with Nick and hanging off his side."_

"_Isn't Nick gay?" Blaine asked in confusion._

"_Who the hell knows?" Thad threw up his hands in frustration, "The woman is making a mockery of me and I have no idea what to do. Should I ask her on a date? Do girls like chess tournaments Blaine?"_

"_I suppose some do."_

"_Maybe I'll talk to her in German, it'll be mysterious."_

"_I think that you should do whatever you think is right."_

_Thad scowled and crossed his arms, glaring moodily to the side as he seemed to hunch over._

"_Nick's probably fluent in German too," He muttered bitterly._

* * *

"_-And now I'm just interested in everything to do with the culture and the food and the history and the people and do you think it's too late to pick up the language?"_

_Blaine blinked in confusion, tired and slightly weary of listening to Trent ramble about his summer vacation. It was endearing in a way, but Blaine just wanted to crawl back to his bed and sleep. Every conversation he had with the Warblers seemed to take a certain amount of energy that Blaine just didn't have._

"_You can do whatever you want."_

"_You're right, there's still time. There's an Italian film festival at the end of the month-"_

"_Oh yeah," Blaine cut Trent off, grateful to finally have something to contribute to the conversation, "I heard about that. I was actually thinking of going myself."_

"_Really?" Trent beamed at him, clasping his hands together happily. _

"_Great! We can go together, as friends of course. I mean, if Kurt doesn't mind. In fact you could bring him along too if you want."_

"_I guess so. I mean, why would Kurt care if we went to the movies together?"_

_Trent stared at him in disbelief, as if he couldn't understand why Blaine was being so obtuse._

"_Oh, Blaine."_

* * *

"_I don't even like law and now it feels like this has come out of nowhere."_

"_Mm hm."_

"_So what if my father was a lawyer? There's no binding contract saying I have to follow in his footsteps. I'm much better with the sciences."_

"_That's great David."_

"_Wes would make a much better lawyer than I would, it's like my own mother doesn't know me at all. You know, this is just typical. She'll probably get my father to agree with her and suddenly I'll be attacked from both sides."_

"_Terrible."_

"_This is exactly like the math summer school she signed me up for when I was ten!" David exclaimed._

"_Uh huh."_

"_Blaine are you okay?" David asked suddenly, turning to look at him with a concerned look, "You seem really tired."_

* * *

"_I don't know what Thad's problem is. I hardly get to see my cousin as it is and yet whenever she comes over to hug me, Thad glares at me like I've just tried to set fire to his blazer."_

"_Your cousin goes to Crawford?"_

"_Yes, she's very academic. She's involved in like ten clubs so we barely have time to meet up."_

"_Mmm."_

"_On top of all that, Jeff's been acting really weird lately. He laughs at everything I say even when it's not funny and keeps finding excuses to brush up against me."_

"_Mmm."_

"_Yesterday he complimented my hair Blaine, my hair. What are you supposed to say to something like that?"_

"_Mmm."_

"_He has this weird look on his face too, he keeps staring at me like Kurt looks at yo- oh."_

_Nick seemed to freeze in place, slowly absorbing what he had just said aloud as a light bulb seemed to go off behind his eyes._

"_Blaine I think I'm going to cut this conversation short, I need to go find Jeff."_

"_Mmm."_

"_Also, Blaine?" Nick paused hesitantly from where he had scooped up his bag and was preparing to run to Jeff's dorm room, "I don't want this to come off as insulting but you might want to get some more sleep. You're looking really tired."_

* * *

"Dude! I totally shot you!"

"You're out of ammo loser."

"Coming around from behind, AMBUSH! SURROUND THEM I NEED BACKUP."

Blaine let the controller dangle limply in his hands, not even paying attention as the sounds of shouting boys washed over him.

It was nine o'clock and they were all gathered in Nick's room, crowded around a tiny TV as they played some zombie fighting game that Blaine couldn't remember the name of. Kurt had declined the invitation to join them but on impulse Blaine had agreed, surprising the four boys who had offered only out of politeness. The only reason he'd heard about the event was because he had dragged Kurt to go sit with him at their table and not with Wes and David or Thad or Trent or any of the other Warblers.

Blaine didn't know what he was doing here, he felt like he was burdening the other boys with his presence and really wished Kurt had agreed to come along. Kurt had laughed though and said video games weren't his thing but Blaine was starting to wish he would have come anyway. Blaine felt like he was sucking the fun out of the room for the rest of the boys, at least with Kurt here he would have had someone he could easily talk to.

Nick and Jeff he knew, Warbler with the dread locks he sort of knew at least from practice and Wes's complaining about the 'unprofessional haircut', but the fourth guy was a friend from Nick's English class and had given Blaine a nod and a smile before turning back to the TV. Blaine knew he should be focusing on making friends, he should be starting up conversations like Kurt had suggested and trying to find out more about the people around him, but every effort felt like it took a huge amount of energy.

He'd talked with the Warblers, found out things about them he didn't know and even inadvertently set Nick and Jeff up with each other, but as soon as he went to sleep the days reset themselves and every conversation he'd had was forgotten, every revealing secret or deep confession was forgotten by everyone but him.

Every morning that he woke up on the same Tuesday he could feel a small piece of hope start to die inside of him. He was tired, he could feel something weighing down on him as if his blazer had slowly been acquiring stones in its pockets. Walking down the hallway every morning felt never ending, as if the corridor was stretching out before him and there was no exit in sight.

Blaine had tried to make friends, he really had but there was something holding him back from letting himself be completely known, from letting people see the real him. Without meaning to, Blaine had started to fall back on his old charming persona, making new friends but not making any strong connections. Definitely nothing that was strong enough to break him out of the time loop.

Wes had a younger sister who annoyed the hell out of him, David's mum was pressuring him to get into law school and Thad had won chess competitions and was a confident speaker of German. Jeff had this huge crush on Nick that apparently everyone besides Nick and Blaine had noticed and Trent was pretty damn good at the clarinet and had vacationed in Italy with his family last summer.

Blaine knew all this now, he'd asked about their lives and spent days dedicated to finding out as much as he could about one person.

It was the 56th day he had lived through a Tuesday and as much as his and Kurt's conversation about two weeks ago had cheered him up, nothing had changed and Blaine was starting to feel himself slide into some sort of depression. It was difficult getting up in the morning now, knowing already exactly what was going to happen and that he would have to repeat it over and over again for the foreseeable future. The Tuesday's stretched out before him, the cycle continuing so long that Blaine was on the verge of giving up.

He didn't know what to do.

He had tried everything and he didn't know what else to do.

At certain moments of the day he would find himself getting uncontrollably angry at Sebastian, storming up to his dorm room to see if the other boy had miraculously reappeared. Blaine always left disappointed, shoulders slumped as he ignored friendly greetings from other students, stalking back to his room bitterly where he fumed to himself.

He was losing his grip, he had no control over the situation he was in no matter what Sebastian had said but the worrying thing was that Blaine was starting to lose control over himself. He was angry, on edge at times and snappy with people who didn't deserve it.

He had yelled at Kurt yesterday morning, sick of the same repeated questions and persistence to get Blaine to come see his audition. He had regretted it almost immediately, watching as Kurt had recoiled in shock, a hurt look flashing across his face. His eyes had creased at the corners as if he had a sudden urge to cry before he'd straightened up and fixed Blaine with a cool stare, back rigidly straight in the same way he used to stare down a homophobic jock.

"I don't know what your problem is, but you better sort it out soon. I'm not your chew toy to take your anger out on whenever you get stressed, either you respect me and treat me like your best friend or this friendship is over and I'll find someone else to hang out with. Simple as that."

Kurt had stalked away then, not looking back once as Blaine had stared after him in despair.

He'd wanted to apologize immediately but had no idea what to say.

That had been the first and only time that Blaine had felt grateful for the repeating Tuesdays, grateful that Kurt wouldn't remember their conversation the next day. Blaine had hurried to the breakfast table, waiting impatiently until Kurt had turned up with a slightly anxious smile, ready to question about Pavarotti's health and his audition when he had been cut off by Blaine pulling him into a rough hug.

"I had a nightmare," Blaine had said quietly to Kurt's silent question.

Kurt didn't say anything more but instead hugged him back tightly, holding him there for as long as Blaine wanted even though they were in the middle of the crowded cafeteria.

In truth, Kurt's words had scared him. They had cut to the core of what he had been so afraid about days ago, of someone replacing him in Kurt's eyes and making the other boy forget all about Blaine. Blaine wasn't perfect but he tried so hard to be and couldn't handle the thought of Kurt getting bored with him, or growing sick of having to deal with Blaine's problems. Kurt had promised that letting him in would only strengthen their friendship and Blaine had promised to try, he'd let Kurt in more than he'd ever let anyone else, but he couldn't take that final step and reveal his deepest insecurities. No matter how hard he tried, there was a small voice in the back of his head that was whispering he shouldn't burden anyone with his problems and that they had more important things to worry about. The idea that he was confident and in control had been the thing that made Kurt want to be friends with him in the first place and Blaine knew that no matter what he said, Kurt would never like him nearly as much if he found out how needy and self-conscious Blaine really was.

Blaine just wanted it all to be over.

He wanted to be happy again, he wanted to stop the Tuesdays once and for all and get that reward that Sebastian had said would make it all worth it.

Why couldn't he just be happy? What had he done in a previous lifetime to end up in this situation?

Blaine couldn't figure it out and sat staring into space, mind churning over every possible method for escape, every way he could finally end the nightmare he was living in.

"Blaine!" Jeff called to him, making Blaine jump in surprise as Jeff's grin turned to a slightly more concerned look, "The mission finished five minutes ago, you look totally out of it. Where'd you go, huh?"

"I'm right here," Blaine muttered, letting the controller fall from his hands to the floor as he rubbed at his weary eyes, "I didn't go anywhere, I'm right here."

Forever.

* * *

"Blaine? Trent said he saw you come up here about half an hour ago looking pretty upset. Is everything okay?"

"Day seventy."

"I'm sorry?"

"It's been at least seventy days since this has started, I think I lost track after that. Who knows, we could be in the hundreds by now."

Kurt started at the back of Blaine's head, pulling his jacket tighter around himself as his teeth started to chatter in the harsh winds. They were standing on the top of Dalton's roof with no cover from the outside elements or any kind of protection. The roof wasn't a very exciting place, there stairs usually had a locked cover on them to prevent students from hanging out in such a dangerous spot but Blaine had obviously somehow managed to find a key. There wasn't a proper fence around the edges of the roof either, it was more like a ledge of about a meter that lined the sides of the roof to prevent people from walking straight off. Blaine was standing next to the ledge and staring off at something Kurt couldn't see, his back and shoulders unusually rigid and held in place, not even swaying slightly in the wind.

For some reason the image made Kurt feel uncomfortable, something was obviously wrong with Blaine but he couldn't figure out what. It felt like Blaine was beyond his reach.

"Blaine I don't know what you're talking about, but if you come inside with me you can explain it and we'll find a solution. It's freezing out here."

"There is no solution!" Blaine turned to face him, shuffling backwards so his legs hit the sides of the ledge as his voice cracked on his words, "There's nothing I can do and I've tried everything!"

"Don't say that, c'mon honey, please don't say that. I can help you, we'll figure it out together-"

"You don't understand!" Blaine snapped.

Kurt took a few cautious steps forward, raising his arms in an almost soothing gesture as he took in Blaine's red rimmed eyes with a stabbing feeling of worry. Something had obviously gone horribly wrong in Blaine's life, even worse than the Gap attack or when Blaine's father had called to ask Blaine to stay at Dalton for Christmas. For Kurt this had come out of nowhere, yesterday Blaine had been bright and happy and his usual self but now…

"Was it your father? Did he call you?"

"It's everything, it's my family and school and friends and you-"

"Me?" Kurt recoiled slightly in shock, "What did I do?"

"Nothing, because you can't remember. Nobody can remember but me."

"I- Blaine if I did something to hurt you then I am so sorry, you know I would never do something like that on purpose. Just come inside with me, come inside and we can talk about it."

"I'm sick of talking to people, all I do is talk and ask them about their lives and what their problems are and how can I help but nothing ever works because I'm still stuck here. I'm still at this school, living through the same Tuesday over and over again. Sebastian said- Sebastian said he chose this day for a reason. Well guess what? Nothing has happened today. Nothing for Trent or Wes or David or Thad or Jeff or Nick and certainly nothing exciting has happened for me. Sebastian trapped me in a day that I can't escape from."

"Sebastian? What does Sebastian-"

"He said there was something I had to figure out. Well I've talked to damn near every single person in this school, I made friends with the staff and learnt details about the Janitors and I went on a date with a guy who turned out to be a huge j-jackass and I tried to make amends with my family but it's kind of a tradition to ignore my calls whenever they see my name on their mobiles and nothing has worked. Nothing. I'm so tired of going around in circles, I'm tired of the same conversations and the same classes and being the only person who knows what's happening. I'm so tired of being alone all the time."

"You're not alone Blaine, I'm right here. I… I love you so much."

"Do you?" Blaine laughed bitterly, wiping at his eyes as he tried to stop himself from crying, "Because it feels like nobody would care if I dropped off the face of the earth."

"Don't you dare say that," Kurt snapped, "Don't you ever dare, you are my best friend. You are the best friend I have ever had and you made my life so much better. Do you have any idea where I'd be if it weren't for you? I'd still be at McKinley, bullied by Karofsky and feeling completely alone, surrounded by people who are so absorbed in their own lives that they couldn't stop to consider whether maybe I needed some help. You were the first person who really tried to be there for me, who didn't think that one good act was enough and then went back to their own lives. You never for a second let me think that I wasn't important to you or wasn't worthy of your time, do you think I'd just forget about that?"

"That was back then, you don't need me anymore."

"So what if I don't need you like I did back then? That's a good thing, it means I feel safer and happier and it's because of you."

"I know but-"

"I want you in my life, I want you as my best friend for years and years to come."

Blaine breathed in shakily, the gulp of air turning into a strangled sob as he pushed a hand against his mouth to disguise the noise. Kurt took another two steps forward, seeming to regard Blaine as some kind of scared animal who would frighten at sudden movement.

"I love you Blaine, I love you so much."

The sun was shining down on Kurt, catching in his hair and lighting up the determined look in his eyes as he stared directly across at Blaine.

"_He's so beautiful," _Blaine thought to himself, _"How can anyone be so incredibly beautiful?"_

"I'm a failure," Blaine whispered aloud, barely loud enough for Kurt to hear, "Every time I try to change and get out of this loop I just wake up the next morning and everything's the same. I can't do it anymore, I'm sorry but I just can't."

"You're not a failure, you're amazing. You're so talented at so many things-"

"It doesn't mean anything!" Blaine cried out, his voice shaking with suppressed sobs, "None of it means anything! Lead soloist or debate member or fencing or polo or whatever, they're all just pointless titles. You said it yourself; nobody cares what you do in high school. In ten years time nobody's going to care if I was lead soloist of the Warblers. Nobody's even going to know what the Warbler's are."

"I don't remember saying that-"

"This is the only way, I just want it all to be over. This is the only way to make it end."

Blaine sat back on the ledge and swung one leg over to dangle down the side. From there it was a five story drop till he hit the ground, just high enough for his purpose.

Kurt's eyes widened in shock when he realised what Blaine was about to do, his mouth dropping open as his face filled with complete panic.

"No! No Blaine, please. Please stop just-just come here. Come here and we can talk about it and I can fix it, there's always a way, there's always another way."

"I'm sorry but there isn't," Blaine's voice was resigned as he swung his other leg over, bracing himself for the fall, "I've tried everything else."

"Blaine!" Kurt screamed, "Please don't do this! I love you so much, I love you, I love you, I love you, I-I can't…"

"None of this is your fault, I'm either going to wake up on Wednesday, wake up on Tuesday or… or I won't wake up at all."

"You'll die," Kurt was sobbing now, arms held out in front of him, stretching to drag Blaine back over to safety, "You'll die and that's it. You won't wake up ever again you can't-please. PLEASE."

"I'm sorry Kurt."

"NO!"

Kurt darted forward, closing the last couple of meters to try and grab at Blaine's arm. Blaine saw him coming and pushed off, feeling Kurt's fingers brush against his back.

The wind ripped at his clothes, his stomach rising up into his chest as he realised he was free falling. He was out of control, his hands subconsciously reaching for something to hold on to but finding nothing as the ground rushed closer and closer.

The last thing Blaine heard before everything went black was the sound of Kurt screaming his name.


	8. Chapter 8

"_You make me feel like I'm living a teenage dream the way you turn me on, I can't sleep, let's run away, don't ever look back, don't ever-"_

Blaine yanked his phone out from under his pillow, typed in the password and immediately looked to the right hand corner of the screen.

Tuesday.

It was still Tuesday.

Blaine screamed in frustration and threw the phone away from him. Rolling over, he buried his face in his pillow, wrapping his arms around it so he could try to ignore the outside world.

He had… he had killed himself. He had thrown himself off a building.

How was it possible for him to survive? He had fallen from five stories!

Maybe he just needed to try a different way, maybe if he found the right combination…

No.

Blaine was deluding himself if he thought there was any way that might work. He hadn't died from the suicide jump because the Tuesdays wouldn't let him. No matter what he did, there was only one way out which Sebastian had decided upon when he started the time loop.

There was nothing Blaine could do.

Blaine bit his lip tightly to stop the emerging panic attack. He wanted to cry and scream and find Sebastian and hurt him. He wanted out, he wanted to escape this nightmare but he had no idea how.

He'd tried everything, he'd talked to people who weren't even in his year or in any of his teams and he'd learnt the names of what must have been hundreds of students. He had tried absolutely everything and now he was exhausted, even more than that, Blaine had given up.

Blaine lay buried in his blankets and pillow for an indefinite amount of time. He didn't want to move; he didn't have the energy to and instead dozed in and out of consciousness. He didn't get up when his second alarm went off to tell him to leave for breakfast and he didn't try to get up when he heard the faint echoes of the school bell signalling the start of class. He didn't move when his phone buzzed with text messages from concerned friends and he didn't attempt to answer the door or even call out when he heard worried students knocking or asking if he was okay.

They all left him alone after ten minutes or so and Blaine couldn't help but feel grateful.

He just wanted to be alone, he didn't want to have another repeated conversation or go to another class where he could recite the lecture from memory. He felt completely drained, he hadn't even had breakfast but the idea of standing and getting dressed seemed too huge a task when all he wanted was to drift.

It was around lunch time when someone else knocked at the door.

Blaine ignored it at first, keeping his eyes closed as he breathed deeply in and out, his hands still clutching tightly at the blankets.

He wondered if Jeff would sleep in someone else's room tonight. Maybe he could use the opportunity to share a bed with Nick because Blaine was in no mood to have another person bustling around and trying to talk to him right now. Jeff would ask questions that he didn't want or care to answer. Trivial things like:

"_Are you sick?"_

"_What's wrong?"_

"_Why weren't you in class?"_

"_Why is your phone all the way over here? Did you throw it?"_

"_Should I get someone to get your homework?"_

"_Did you and Kurt get into a fight?"_

"_Are you going to the Warbler's auditions?"_

Jeff was trying out for a solo too, Blaine vaguely remembered talking about it around day twenty five. He was excited, as was everyone trying out for a solo. Solos for big competitions like regionals didn't usually come often, Blaine received more than his fair share of the spotlight he would admit but as the council had repeatedly said, Blaine was their strongest singer.

Blaine had stopped caring about solos a long time ago.

Right now he just wanted the rest of the world to disappear.

The person at the door knocked again and Blaine rolled over to press his face further into his pillow. He wanted to be left alone, he wanted everyone to go away and let him sleep. He'd have to get up eventually, the idea of laying in bed for hundreds of Tuesdays to come wasn't any more appealing than dealing with a regular painful Tuesday, but Blaine felt he at least deserved a couple of days to himself after he had technically died yesterday.

"Blaine?" A timid voice from the hallway called, "Are you in there?"

Blaine's eyes slid open, glancing over to the slimmer of light that appeared from underneath the door.

Of course.

Of course Kurt would come to see him, taking care of people was what Kurt was good at. Of course he would come to check up on Blaine.

Kurt's tear streaked, pained face came into Blaine's mind as he remembered what had happened yesterday. He remembered the way Kurt had screamed his name as he watched him fall, as if his heart was shattering and Blaine was the cause of it.

Immediately Blaine felt a huge surge of guilt make its way through his body, forcing him to squeeze his eyes shut as he imagined the way Kurt had sobbed.

He'd hurt him, he hadn't intended to but watching Blaine jump must have been one of the most horrible things Kurt had ever witnessed. For the first time since he had woken up, Blaine was thankful for the repeating Tuesdays that erased his death and the memory of it from Kurt's mind.

Kurt had already gone through so much, he didn't need any more nightmares to keep him awake.

"You didn't show up to any classes," Kurt said from the hallway, his voice slightly muffled from behind the closed door, "People said they tried to talk to you but you didn't respond."

There was a moment of silence where Blaine laid in the darkness, eyes closed as he focused on Kurt's voice. The idea of seeing Kurt made him feel uneasy, he was still worried about being seen as weak, but at the same time he wanted to let the other boy in and curl up in his arms. He wanted Kurt to hug him until he felt better and all his problems went away, pushed aside by Kurt's soothing voice.

It was strange to Blaine how the idea of letting anyone else in made him want to curl up tighter or barricade the room, but the idea of telling Kurt about his problems didn't make him as scared or uncomfortable. He trusted Kurt more than anyone else, maybe it was time to make good on that trust and let him in.

"Blaine? Can I come in?"

"Yes," Blaine coughed, clearing his throat before calling out again slightly louder, "Yes please, but no one else."

The door creaked open slowly, and with it came more light that made Blaine squint to see Kurt properly.

"It's so dark in here."

"I just wanted to sleep; I haven't left this bed since this morning."

Kurt closed the door behind him and carefully made his way to the window, opening the blinds slightly so there was enough light to see his way around.

"That's better," Kurt said as he turned to face Blaine.

Immediately his face dropped into a look of sympathy and worry, taking in how tired Blaine looked and the way he was curled up as if he was trying to protect himself.

"Oh, Blaine."

"Hi."

"Have you eaten yet?" Kurt moved to sit down next to him on the bed, reaching into his bag to pull out something wrapped in alfoil, "I brought you a sandwich from the cafeteria in case you hadn't."

"Thanks."

Blaine pushed himself up into a sitting position, taking the food from Kurt's hand as he unwrapped the alfoil and began to eat. Kurt watched him for a few moments in silence, taking off his bag and letting it drop to the side as he bit his lip in concern.

"Do you want to talk? There's obviously something bothering you."

Blaine chewed on his sandwich slowly, nodding his head.

"Can I…" Blaine pointed to his sandwich.

"Of course go ahead."

They fell back into a comfortable silence, Blaine trying to avoid eye contact as he focused on the methodical act of chewing. He didn't know where to start, he didn't know how to articulate all the thoughts floating around his head. He was still so guilty over what had happened yesterday and the longer he reflected on it the guiltier he felt. Even if he was certain that death was the only way out, jumping in front of Kurt had been selfish and stupid. If he ever did manage to escape the time loop he was stuck in, Kurt screaming his name was going to haunt him.

It's not that he wanted to die, Blaine mused to himself as he made his way through his sandwich, in fact it was the complete opposite. He just wanted to go back to his real life. The life where time moved in the correct way and Blaine could at least pretend he wasn't isolated and alone.

When he'd woken up this morning he hadn't wanted to exist. He'd felt on the verge of some kind of breakdown, as if at any given second he would start screaming at how trapped he was and he wouldn't be able to stop. Everything had felt smothering, from the blankets draped over him to the tiny room itself. He couldn't run away, he couldn't hide or decide to give up, he could scream as loudly and as long as he wanted and it wouldn't change a single thing.

"I guess you're not up to coming to my audition today, huh?"

Blaine looked up at him in surprise, pausing as he watched Kurt flinch.

"Sorry, I didn't mean it to come out like that. That was selfish."

"No, no, I understand this is a big deal for you."

"Yes well, it shouldn't come before your problems. At the end of the day it's just a stupid audition."

"Hey," Blaine frowned at him, "Don't talk like that. If it's important to you then it's important to me. You worked hard on this, you should feel proud."

Kurt shrugged, glancing off to the side as he rubbed at one arm.

"It's not like I'm going to get it anyway, I don't have the right image to lead the Warblers."

"That's ridiculous, the right image for the Warblers is anyone who has a strong voice and is capable of singing at competition level. That would be you."

Kurt gave him a small smile, gesturing him to finish off the rest of his sandwich as Blaine crumpled up the alfoil and threw it in the direction of the bin.

"Can we… can we lay down for a little bit?"

Kurt raised his eyebrows in surprise, slowly nodding his head before pushing gently at Blaine to make him move over. The two boys shuffled across, the bed was barely big enough to hold them both but Blaine found that he didn't exactly mind the way Kurt was pressed up against his side. It was warm, human contact that made Blaine feel safe.

"You should go to your audition today, I wouldn't want you to miss it."

"I'm not going to abandon you Blaine."

"I'll be fine," Blaine reached down to take Kurt's hand in his, linking their fingers together as Kurt's words seemed to die on his lips, "You coming here now is enough."

Kurt smiled at him, a look in his eyes that Blaine couldn't place as he nodded his head slowly.

"I'll stay for as long as you want."

They lay together in silence, Kurt's thumb stroking gently across Blaine's hand as Blaine breathed in deeply and let the tension seep out of him. It was amazing the effect Kurt had on him, he hadn't even said anything yet and Blaine was already feeling better just by his presence. Kurt really was the best friend he had ever had.

"I take it your problems have been building up for a while," Kurt started slowly, letting his words drift off so Blaine could fill in the blanks.

"Yeah," Blaine sighed, shifting slightly on the mattress as he thought about how to explain. The slight unease he'd felt when he'd realized Kurt was standing outside his bedroom door rushed back to him and made Blaine squirm slightly, biting at his lip. Talking about his problems and making himself vulnerable was always something that Blaine was going to have difficulty with. It was easier to just not dwell on them, to push them to the back of his mind and hope they'd disappear but Kurt was expecting him to explain and well… it had worked once, right?

If Blaine had learnt anything throughout the time loop it was that Kurt was always going to be there for him, whether it was to pick him up from a bad date or to skip school with him and stay out all night. If Blaine were to say something that made Kurt not like him, then the Tuesdays would just reset and everything would be forgotten. This really was one of the few times Blaine could explain everything going on inside his head without fear of being judged.

"I guess… I guess I've been trying to ignore everything bothering me for as long as I possibly could," He started off slowly, glancing up at Kurt's face to gauge whether he was really being listened to. "I just thought… I guess I thought that maybe it would all eventually solve itself and all I had to do was keep going and it would be fine."

"But I take it that didn't work out so well."

"I feel like a fake. I've felt like a fake for a long time and we've talked about this before even if you don't remember but I just…" Blaine sighed in frustration and rolled over into Kurt's side, burying his face in Kurt's neck as he tried to get comfortable.

"I don't know how to… I don't know how to explain what I'm feeling."

"Just take it slow. There's no rush, it's not like I'm going anywhere."

Kurt slid his arm up over Blaine's back and pulled him in tighter, tilting his head so he could push his face into Blaine's hair.

"Thank you."

Kurt remained silent, just waiting for Blaine to speak while Blaine took a couple of deep, calming breaths.

"You know about Sadie Hawkins, you know how I came here because I was too scared to go back to my old school. I didn't keep in contact with any of my old friends, partly because I didn't have many after I came out but mostly because I didn't like who I was back at my old school. I was fourteen and this tiny kid who everyone picked on, I was a victim. Being bullied made me feel so pathetic and weak and when I came here, I promised myself that I was never going to be like that again. Coming to Dalton… I'm looking at all these confident, intelligent, accomplished guys and I just… I felt as if I was looking in at them through a glass wall. I wanted to be like them so I dressed the right way and I said the right things but it wasn't enough. It's never, ever enough no matter how hard I try and I'm so… there's nothing else I can do."

Blaine reached up his hand to tangle it in Kurt's shirt, trying to pull him as close as he could.

"Once the bruises had faded, I started acting. I became the type of person who I'd always admired and wanted to be but on the inside I didn't feel like it at all, I kind of felt like I was playing dress up in someone else's clothes. People believed me though and it slowly started to feel like I had everything under control. I even forgot that I was acting and that the Blaine I was pretending to be wasn't really me at all."

Blaine fell silent again, letting Kurt stroke up and down his back as he struggled to find the right words. He flexed his hand in Kurt's shirt, swallowing nervously as he nudged his nose upwards to the spot just behind Kurt's ear.

"The problem is, is that eventually another guy's going to turn up who's a better singer than me and a better dancer and he won't need to try as hard as I do to make people like him. He won't need to pretend to be more interesting than he actually is and I'll be pushed to the side in favour of him but there will be nothing I can do about it. I just… I keep trying so hard to be that person who everyone loves and wants to be friends with but nothing I do is ever enough and I can't help wanting more. I wanted a boyfriend or-or someone who would just make me feel like I'm special and who would always put me first. I wanted someone who would be in love with me because they saw me and not the guy that has everything perfect. I guess I thought having someone just for me would… I don't know. Make things better."

"Having a boyfriend doesn't magically solve your problems Blaine."

"I know that," Blaine sighed, "But I always liked the idea of having someone. I guess I romanticised it a bit. It-it doesn't even matter, what matters is that I'm a screw up and there's nobody out there who'd want to date me in the first place. My own parents don't even like me, they shipped me off to Dalton the first chance they got and the Warblers wouldn't like me at all if they knew the real me-"

"Hey, shhh, no more talking like that. You know it's not true."

"But it is true! I'm not as confident and charming as everyone expects me to be because on the inside I'm still the same scared, fourteen year old kid who ran away from his bullies like a coward. I have no idea what I'm doing Kurt. Any second I could completely screw up and suddenly everything I've worked so hard for, every sense of normalcy and security would collapse around me."

"There's something missing," Blaine paused to sniff and rub at his eyes, "It feels like I've spent my whole life searching for this… this anchor, this sense of security and comfort and safety but I can't find it. I couldn't find it with my family and I couldn't find it at this school and I've recently realised that I can't find it with the Warblers either because while they might be team mates and some of them are friends, but if someone better came along then they would replace me and that scares me so, so much. I don't know how I got to this point and I have no idea how to stop feeling like this."

"Why didn't you come talk to me about this before?" Kurt asked in concern, squeezing at Blaine's shoulder gently, "Why didn't you say anything?"

"I don't know, I guess I was in denial. I think I'd even managed to convince myself that I was the Blaine who everyone saw, and not as pathetic as I felt on the inside."

"You're not pathetic."

"But I am-"

"Stop it; you're not pathetic at all."

Kurt tightened his grip around Blaine, pulling him even closer as Blaine fell silent, suddenly exhausted from letting everything out. Kurt fell silent too, absorbing Blaine's words as he took in everything Blaine had said. Blaine didn't mind the quiet, he was relieved just to be able to address everything he had been feeling over the past two years or so.

There was a part of Blaine that was still so fearful of rejection, there was a part of him that was scared that Kurt only cared about the Blaine who had everything together, who was perfect and in control at all times. Wasn't that the guy who Kurt had seen the first time they met? Wasn't that the guy who made Kurt want to be friends with him?

"Thank you for trusting me enough to tell me all this," Kurt said softly, the words immediately putting Blaine at ease, "I know it must have been hard, but friendship isn't a one way street. I want you to feel like you can talk to me about anything, it sounds like you've been feeling isolated for a long time and that just… I know what it feels like to be alone and I don't want you to ever go through it, especially not while I'm here."

"You've had a lot to deal with lately."

"So? Friends always come first Blaine, how selfish would I have to be to ignore you in favour of homework or Warbler's auditions, especially when you've done so much for me? I love you a lot, you're my best friend."

"I love you too Kurt."

Blaine could feel himself tearing up and squeezed his eyes shut, grateful that Kurt couldn't see how strongly his words had affected him.

"I think… I mean there are some things I want to say straight off but I don't know where to start."

Kurt paused, his hand continuing to stroke up and down Blaine's back as he bit his lip in thought.

"You're important to me, and when I look at you I don't see anything fake or disappointing. I see the guy who was brave enough to help me confront my bully after only a week of knowing me, I see the guy who's never laughed or made me feel lesser for liking fashion and Broadway. I don't understand how you got this distorted image of yourself but I'm telling you right now that I don't think you have any problems with people not wanting you, I think your problem is that you're not always clear with what you want."

"Huh?" Blaine looked up at him in confusion, rubbing at his eyes, "What do you mean?"

"Well, okay. For starters it looks as if you've been feeling like this for a long time, and yet this is the first I've heard of you being upset or feeling lesser. Why didn't you say something?"

"I don't know, sometimes it's just easier to keep things to myself. If I'm upset about something then what's the point of telling other people and bringing them down too?"

"Um, because maybe they'll be able to make you feel better? Because if you make it clear what you want, then there's a stronger chance of you getting it?" Kurt said, voice slightly dry, "Blaine, I love you a lot but my first thought when I wake up isn't 'I wonder if Blaine is really upset about something and hiding it, I should go question him just to make sure.' I'm not a mind reader and if you don't tell me that something's bothering you then it's just going to keep on bothering you until it turns into an even bigger problem. You deserve to be happy and it's not selfish to want to talk about yourself, in fact it's kind of your right. Putting everyone above yourself isn't helping anyone in the end."

"What? That doesn't make sense, in fact it's rude."

"If you don't want to go to something then say so, if someone hurts your feelings then speak up. I don't understand where you got the idea that everyone's feelings have to be placed above your own, especially if they're hurting you."

"It's just easier," Blaine sighed, starting to feel slightly frustrated that Kurt couldn't understand, "It's just easier if I stay quiet."

"For who?"

Blaine opened his mouth to reply but then paused, quickly falling silent as he started to trace circles into the front of Kurt's white, school shirt. Kurt's eyes flickered over his face as he tried to avoid thinking about the question, he could feel Kurt's gaze tracing down his nose and across his mouth as if Kurt already knew the answer but was just waiting for Blaine to admit it.

"It's not like I want to feel like this," Blaine eventually said after a long pause, "I don't get any particular joy from having to work so hard all the time, always being so scared I'll screw up. But when I do get things right, that's when it's all worth it. I just want everything to be okay, I want to make people happy and have them like me."

"Are you happy?"

Blaine's eyes flickered upwards to meet Kurt's gaze, something in his chest tightened when he thought about the question and he found himself biting his lip.

No.

No he wasn't happy, but was that because of his depression from the repeating Tuesdays, or from an unhappiness that had started long before he had woken up that first morning?

"I… I don't know. I'm happy when everyone else is happy."

"I wasn't asking about everyone else, I was asking about you."

Blaine shuffled forward so his head was nestled back into the curve of Kurt's shoulder, ducking his face so he was pressed up against Kurt's neck. It felt safe here, alone with Kurt in his dorm room, it felt like the rest of the world didn't exist beyond his bedroom door and he could lie there for as long as he wanted. He knew it was an illusion, the clock would strike twelve eventually and suddenly Blaine would be opening his eyes to an empty dorm room and no Kurt. He needed to savour every moment and with this thought in mind, he slid his arms up underneath Kurt's back so he could hold the other boy as tightly as possible.

"Blaine?"

"I don't think I know how to be," He replied softly, squeezing tighter around Kurt's middle so he could ignore how scared he felt, "It was easier when I could just concentrate on everyone else being happy. Then it was like a checklist and I could go through it one by one and fix things. I used to be so good at it, but now it's like I've lost all control. I can't do it anymore, I'm too tired. I…"

Blaine trailed off, struggling to find a way to articulate how he was feeling.

"I know you're scared that people won't like you," Kurt said, dropping his voice back to the soft comforting tone that made Blaine want to close his eyes and fall asleep, "You're afraid of being judged but if you won't even open yourself up enough to the people around you then you're not giving them a proper chance. Who cares if a couple of people don't like who you are? A couple of people can't be compared to the hundreds of friends you'll make throughout your life."

"But that only works if they like me in the first place," Blaine pointed out, "And I still can't think of a reason why anyone would do that."

"Blaine-"

"Don't, just forget it. I shouldn't have said anything."

Kurt slumped underneath him with a frustrated sigh as Blaine tensed up, suddenly regretting ever letting Kurt into his room. This was the exact opposite of what he had wanted, it would have been better to have just left Kurt completely in the dark. Blaine could feel his heart speeding up, his palms were starting to sweat and he tried to take a deep breath to calm himself down.

Should he make Kurt leave or would that just make things worse? Would Kurt leave by himself? The thought made him panic, even if he didn't want Kurt here, he didn't want him to just decide Blaine wasn't worth the effort either. Why couldn't he just go back and stop himself from saying anything? Why did he have to wait till twelve until the day would start over?

It took Blaine a couple of seconds of silent panicking before he realized that Kurt was rubbing circles into the back of Blaine's shirt firmly, he hadn't moved from underneath him, he hadn't made a single motion that would indicate he wanted to leave. Blaine clenched his hand firmly in Kurt's shirt, breathing in deeply through his nose as he clamped his eyes tightly shut.

"_Please don't go,"_ He wanted to say, _"Please don't leave me."_

"Do you know why I like you?"

"Sorry?" Blaine opened his eyes to meet Kurt's in confusion.

"I said do you know why I like you? Do you know why I want to spend so much time around you?"

"Well, I guess not," Blaine said slowly, slightly wary of the question.

"It's not… I don't view you as someone who's above all the rest of us, as if I'm so incredibly lucky to be able to bask in your presence. You're an amazing singer Blaine but that's not your one defining characteristic."

"Okay, then why?" Blaine asked into Kurt's neck, dropping his gaze again when the eye contact became too uncomfortable, "Like me I mean."

"I… I like you because you cry with me at the ending of Titanic and don't laugh even though I've watched it at least thirty times. I like it that you have an unhealthy obsession with female ballads about being a strong woman and a weakness for cheesy pop songs. I like that… even though it's never going to happen you keep trying to convince me to watch Star Wars with you, and that you're a huge nerd and I think it's the cutest thing I've ever seen. I like how you have a bow tie collection and text me pictures of scarves you think I'd like for my birthday even when it's months away, and that you have a huge crush on Hugh Jackman as Wolverine and think I haven't noticed-"

"I do not! I just appreciate the man's aesthetic value."

"Uh huh," Kurt replied with a roll of his eyes, "I like that whenever we go to the mall you spend an hour cooing at the puppies in the pet store and waving at them as if they know what you're doing and I like that you're overly nice to everyone, even creepy strangers who should probably be avoided."

"He was a lost old man asking for directions-"

"He looked like he was a part of a gang!" Kurt snapped, "And we are not having this argument again."

Blaine buried his laughter in Kurt's shoulder, picturing Kurt's disgruntled expression perfectly without having to look up. When his chuckles had died down, Blaine rolled on to his side, still curled up against Kurt as he studied his face curiously. Something clenched in his chest as he looked up to find Kurt smiling at him with that warm look in his eye, the look that Blaine could never quite figure out but always made butterflies swoop around his stomach.

"Did you really notice all those things about me? I mean, not just notice them but... like me because of them?"

"Yes," Kurt said firmly, not even pausing to consider the question, "You're my best friend, do you really think I'd spend so much time hanging out with someone if I didn't genuinely want to be around them?"

"I guess not."

"I can't speak for your family or any of the Warblers but I like you for who you are, in fact I can't believe it even needs to be said. I've never felt as close to someone as I do to you and it's not because you're lead soloist or polite or good at sports. It's because I… I trust you. More than anyone I've ever met besides my dad. It's hard to explain-"

"No, I get it," Blaine said softly.

"Then you'll realize that nobody could ever replace you. You're not some doo wopping robot who the Warblers will throw out when a better model comes along. People like you because of your genuine kindness, it's not something you can fake and they respect you for it. You're a good team leader and even if another guy transferred who was as good a singer as you, he would never be able to build up the same rapport with the Warblers that you do. You're not perfect, but so what? It's not a character flaw Blaine, it's not expected of you. "

"I know that."

"Do you? Because saying you do in theory and actually accepting it are two different things."

"I get it," Blaine said as he started to trace a pattern on to Kurt's chest, "but then people need me to be in charge and organized and it's not like I think of it as being perfect, more like I just need to be the best I possibly can at all times."

"That's the same thing as being perfect," Kurt said with a sigh.

"Not really, it's more-"

"Blaine."

The single word was a warning and Blaine felt himself slump back against Kurt, letting all pretences fall away.

"I just want to help."

"I know sweetheart, but you can't help everyone. If you spend your life focusing on everyone else and not thinking about your own feelings then sooner or later you're going to crash and burn. You're important too Blaine, I don't know if anyone has told you this, but you matter. You have wants and needs that are just as important as everyone else, and frankly I think you should start thinking about them, not just what's easier or convenient. Everyone needs time to relax and do something they enjoy or you'll burn yourself out. What do you like doing? Something that doesn't have to do with school or your family, but something you like to do just for yourself."

"I don't know."

"Think, even if it's small you should have something for you."

Blaine breathed in and out deeply, nose tucked into the edge of Kurt's shirt where his collar met his skin. Kurt's left arm was wrapped across his shoulders and gripping lightly at Blaine's left arm, but Kurt's right was placed gently on the small of Blaine's back. The weight was comforting; it anchored Blaine to Kurt and made him feel relaxed and safe. When was the last time he had been held like this? Would anyone ever hold him like this again or would it just be Kurt?

Blaine pushed the thoughts away and turned back to Kurt's original question, frowning as he struggled to remember a time when he hadn't felt so out of control and on edge. He had been living in these Tuesdays for more than two months, possibly even three considering Blaine had lost track after forty eight or so. The days had all merged into one, stretching out until it had seemed like one continuous day without break. Trying to remember beyond that was difficult, especially when the time before that had been filled with endless amounts of homework and obligations.

"I like…" Blaine started slowly, "When I get to sing in the shower. Not when I'm practicing for Warblers or performing but when I just get to sing for me. It reminds me of why I joined show choir in the first place, sometimes I sing so loudly that Jeff can hear me and he joins in with harmonies or this fake beat boxing. It's fun."

"Go on."

"I like singing with you in the car when we drive all the way back to Lima and I like…" Blaine struggled to think, "I liked when, last week… was it last week on Thursday? I went to your room to do homework but instead we ended up watching episodes of Gilmore Girls and you made up stories about what was going on behind the scenes and I laughed so hard I fell off your bed."

"I remember," Kurt smiled fondly, "And it was Thursday, yes. If you want we could do things like that more often, I liked it too."

"That would be nice," Blaine said softly.

The quiet of the room was comforting, Kurt's body underneath him was warm and solid and Blaine let out a slow breath as he took a minute to think. This was what he needed, the Tuesdays had made him feel like a rat in maze, frantically struggling to find his way out as quickly as he possibly could but instead just bumping into dead ends and ending right back up at the start. This moment here with Kurt had been what he'd been longing for all this time. He still felt exhausted but some of the edge had been taken off, as if the weight pressing down on his back and dragging down his shoulders had been pushed away by Kurt's words alone. Blaine was so glad he had agreed to let Kurt in.

Lying on top of Kurt, he could feel the way their ribs pushed together with every inhale of breath. The darkness made it feel intimate, as if it were pulling them in and hiding them from the rest of the world. Blaine liked the feeling, he'd never felt as connected and in sync with anyone else his entire life as he did with Kurt. He was so grateful, so relaxed and at ease and could comfortably breathe for the first time since he had woken up. Kurt had done that, Kurt had made him feel that way and Blaine knew there was no way he could explain how much that meant to him.

"You make me happy," Blaine whispered into the side of Kurt's neck, saying the words as if they were a precious secret.

He could feel Kurt inhale deeply beneath him and relaxed into the way Kurt's hand stroked up and down his back as he pulled him in even tighter.

"You make me happy too."

Blaine grinned, letting his eyes close as he concentrated on the feeling of being surrounded by Kurt.

"How are you feeling?"

"Tired," Blaine smiled weakly, shuffling slightly so all of his weight rested on Kurt's chest, "But good, better. Thank you."

"You don't need to thank me, you should try and get some sleep, we can talk later or tomorrow if you're feeling up to it."

Blaine tried to ignore the fact that there wouldn't be a tomorrow to talk, that Kurt would completely forget this conversation in a couple of hours and Blaine would be thrown back into the time loop. Instead he burrowed into Kurt's side, lifting his mouth up to Kurt's ear to hesitantly ask a question.

"Will you stay with me?"

"Of course," Kurt kissed the top of his head, "You didn't even need to ask."

* * *

BANG.

Blaine jolted awake, his eyes squinting around the dark room as he tried to figure out what the noise had been.

"What was that?"

"Shh," Kurt's arms slid up around his back, "Go back to sleep. It was just Jeff closing the door. He's going to stay in Nick's room tonight."

"Jeff? Wait, what time is it?"

"Six, we can go get some dinner in an hour if you're hungry."

"Six?" Blaine groggily rubbed at his eyes, starting to push himself upwards only to have Kurt tug him back down, "You missed your audition."

"It's fine."

"It-it's not fine, I told you to go."

"Blaine…"

Blaine could feel the way Kurt sighed his name, the brief burst of warm air brushed across his cheek and made him close his eyes instinctively, basking in the feeling of warmth and security.

"You needed me here and while I'm not going to pretend that I'm not a little disappointed about missing the audition, I'm always going to be here for you. There will be other opportunities to show off my superior talent, I don't mind waiting a little longer for my moment to shine."

"You shouldn't have to; you've waited long enough already."

"Blaine, it was my choice to stay with you and it's not a decision I regret. Don't worry about it, you've got enough things to stress about without adding my problems to your pile."

"I'm always going to think of your problems as my problems."

Kurt's hand tightened in the back of Blaine's shirt as he breathed in deeply through his nose, letting out the shaky breath with a huff of laughter.

"Oh," Kurt said, sounding awed and almost disbelieving, "You can't just- never mind. Just go to sleep sweetie, we'll talk more about this tomorrow."

There wouldn't be a tomorrow to talk about it, Blaine wanted to say. He refrained from commenting though and instead let himself melt back into Kurt's side. It didn't terrify Blaine as much as it had yesterday, the prospect of never escaping exhausted and scared him but at least here with Kurt, everything seemed while not okay, at least bearable.

He would make it up to Kurt, he would sit through Twilight with him and not roll his eyes even though they both knew the only reason Kurt watched was for Taylor Lautner, he would buy him as many cheesecakes as he wanted and let Kurt bitch at him about all the unfortunate fashion choices they came across at the Lima bean to his heart's content. He just needed to be around Kurt, because when he was with him and Kurt was happy then it felt as if everything was right with the world. As if Blaine was important and invincible and brave.

He didn't know how long the Tuesdays would go on before he could escape _("If he could escape at all," _a small voice whispered from the back of his mind_)_, but Blaine was very aware that Kurt might be the only person on the planet who he could handle being around every day without losing his sanity.

Tomorrow was going to be different. He was going to spend it with Kurt because being around him made Blaine happy and he knew that was a feeling that was never going to fade, no matter how many Tuesdays he lived through.


	9. Chapter 9

Guys, thank you so much for all your lovely, lovely reviews. I decided to take a short break from posting up any fanfiction after the surprising loss of one of the Glee fandom's most beloved actors because I think people (including myself) needed a little time to grieve and recover. I'm back now and with a happy chapter to get things going, we're nearing the end and I want to say a big thank you to everyone who took the time to read or favourite. It really means a lot to me. Anyway, I hope that you're all doing well and a reminder that if you have a complaint, a criticism or a compliment I love reading reviews. Thanks guys!

* * *

"If you're sure that this is normal for birds like Pavarotti," Kurt frowned, "I guess I'll trust your judgement. I'm just worried."

"Kurt, calm down," Blaine shot him a tired smile, accompanying it with a squeeze at Kurt's elbow, "I know you've been really stressed lately but Pavarotti is perfectly healthy and everything is fine. Don't stress out about your audition later today either, you're going to nail it."

"Hey Blaine," Terry interrupted them, brushing up against Blaine's side as his hand grazed against the back of Blaine's.

Blaine didn't reply, glaring at him as Terry recoiled backwards in confusion.

"Uh, Blaine?"

Blaine tightened his grip on Kurt's elbow and marched them both forward, not sparing a look backwards as Terry stared after them. It didn't matter that technically their date hadn't happened and thus Terry had no idea how he had insulted Blaine's best friend, Terry still thought those things about Kurt and Blaine didn't want to waste any time hanging around a guy who could so easily insult the person Blaine felt closest to in the world.

He also didn't want Kurt to have to deal with anymore hatred, especially not after the amazing shows of friendship he had displayed in the last few days.

"Who was that?" Kurt asked, his voice sounding curious instead of cold for the first time since he had started asking the familiar question.

"Nobody worth talking to, believe me. Move over to the right for a second."

"Huh?"

Blaine pushed Kurt to the side as Michael (Blaine had finally found out his name about a month ago) came barrelling down the corridor, his bag swinging out dangerously and just missed hitting Blaine in the side. Apparently Michael had been late four times in the last month and would get a detention if he was late again, Blaine remembered the conversation well. It had been the one and only time Michael had apologised for bumping into him.

"Nice save," Kurt said, "I don't see why everyone has to push so much, if you want to get to class earlier then leave early. It's that simple."

Blaine nodded his head in agreement, still pressing Kurt closer to the wall as the group of students (James, Lewis, Derek, Sam and… Patrick?) appeared from around the corner, laughing and joking about Lewis's German teacher as they brushed past them.

Blaine had talked to the first four, but he didn't have any overlapping classes with Patrick. Maybe he could try seeking him out tomorrow, it's not like he had anything else planned.

Still no Sebastian today, Blaine noted as the laughter of the boys faded and he nudged Kurt over to the stairs, not that he had been expecting him to be there.

He was really starting to wonder if Sebastian had left for good. What did that mean for the normal time line if Blaine never escaped the time loop and made it out to Wednesday?

"Blaine, can I talk to you about something?"

"Uh sure," Blaine said, jolting out of his thoughts, "Let's just get somewhere a little less crowded."

Kurt and Blaine pushed past the crowd of students, descending down the stairs as they made it to the bottom corridor. Judging by Blaine's watch, they had about three minutes until class started but that wouldn't be a problem. He already knew what Kurt was about to say, and exactly how long it would take to say it.

"Listen Blaine," Kurt said, the tight grip on his bag strap was the only thing that gave away his nerves, "I know we've sort of talked about it but my auditions at four today and I'm really nervous."

"Kurt," Blaine stepped forward to pull one of his hands loose, squeezing it gently with a smile as he tried not to let the exhaustion show in his eyes, "Listen to me, you're going to be incredible. The Warblers would be insane not to choose you so don't over think it. All you have to do is walk in there and be your usual confident self and you'll blow them all away. Don't cry for me Argentina is an amazing song and I can assure you that I'm really looking forward to seeing it in person later today."

"Wait," Kurt blinked at him incredulously, the corners of his mouth starting to tilt upwards into a hopeful smile, "Does that mean you're coming to see my audition?"

"I wouldn't miss it for the world."

Kurt squealed happily as he leapt forward and threw his arms around Blaine's neck.

"Thank you so much! I know I'm probably over reacting and I might not even get the solo at all but you're the best friend I have here and I'm so nervous because I never even got the opportunity to try out at McKinley but now with you here I'll know that there's at least one person in the audience rooting for me and-"

"Kurt!" Blaine laughed, hugging Kurt back tightly, "Relax, you're going to be fine."

The bell rang loudly above them and Kurt pulled back, slightly breathless as he straightened his blazer and reached up a hand to fix his hair with a touch of embarrassment.

"Thank you for this, I… I should probably let you go to class. I'll see you at lunch?"

"Definitely," Blaine beamed, enjoying Kurt's enthusiasm, "We can talk about any other last minute problems then."

"Good, great."

Kurt bit on his lip to hide the huge smile Blaine could see tugging at the corners of his mouth; his hands had flown back to clutching at his bag strap but this time out of excitement.

"I'll see you then."

"Bye Kurt," Blaine grinned widely, soaking up all of Kurt's happiness.

Kurt turned on his heel and hurriedly began to walk away, glancing over his shoulder to smile at Blaine again as he turned a corner and disappeared from sight.

Blaine rocked back on his heels, enjoying the feeling of having gotten something completely, unmistakeably right.

He'd had no idea that agreeing to go to Kurt's audition would revoke such a reaction, he knew it had been important to Kurt but he hadn't realized that it had been important to him that Blaine was there as well. A small surge of guilt drifted through Blaine's head as he remembered the countless times he had turned Kurt down over the seventy-eighty days or so.

Blaine had had a good reason, but Kurt hadn't known that. On some days Blaine hadn't even bothered to give a reason why he wasn't coming and had just avoided Kurt for the day in his quest to hunt down another person in need of help so he could find a way out of the time loop.

What must Kurt have thought on those days when he couldn't find Blaine anywhere, when he walked into the Warbler practice room only to find an empty spot on the couch. Was he disappointed? Hurt even?

Blaine hadn't been a good friend, but all that was over now. Kurt wouldn't remember the times Blaine had let him down and for that Blaine was profoundly grateful. He was going to make things right, he would go to Kurt's audition and then celebrate or console him afterwards and later that night brainstorm other ways to escape from the Tuesdays. He would go to Kurt's audition over and over again if it made Kurt happy, he would spend the day supporting him and being around him and cheering him on just to make him smile. The idea of Kurt walking into the room and catching Blaine's eye before breaking into that bright scrunched up smile made something squirm pleasantly in Blaine's stomach.

Today was going to be different; it was going to be a good day. Blaine could feel it in the air.

* * *

"-And now for our sixth performance, junior member James will be singing Grenade by Bruno Mars, please hold all applause until the end and show all signs of respect. Thank you."

Wes sat back down and with a nod, gestured for James to begin.

The opening notes began to blare out of the sound system set up for the occasion but Blaine payed no attention, lost in thought as he played with the edges of his phone.

Kurt was supposed to have been here by now, he went missing at lunch and didn't reply when Blaine had knocked on his dorm room, but Blaine had just assumed that he had been taking a walk to calm his nerves. He had only begun to suspect something was amiss when after Jeff had finished performing his audition and respectfully accepted the applause, he'd hurried over to Blaine's side, sinking down into the seat next to him as he leant over to whisper urgently.

"Where's Kurt?"

"What?"

"Kurt's not here, he's not outside waiting with the other guys and I thought that he'd decided not to try out but he's not in here either and I thought you would know."

"What do you mean he's not outside? Of course he's going to audition, it's the only thing he's talked about for weeks."

"Well I don't know where he is, but when Wes asked all the people auditioning to go and wait in the other room he wasn't one of them. Do you think he's sick?"

"He was fine this morning," Blaine whispered back, reaching for his phone as he tried to ignore the growing sense of unease, "I'll try texting him, he might have backed out because of nerves."

Jeff nodded in understanding, leaning back in his seat with a worried expression as he turned his attention back to face the next singer.

That conversation had been ten minutes ago and Kurt still hadn't replied to his text, by now Blaine was wracking his brains to try and remember every mention of Kurt's audition from the Warblers he had talked to over the last three months of Tuesdays. He couldn't remember any comments, positive or negative about how Kurt had gone and the lack of information was starting to make him nervous. Why hadn't he picked up on it before? Had no one mentioned Kurt's audition because he hadn't auditioned at all?

James's song seemed to be coming to an end, his voice a little too breathy on the higher notes which made Wes frown as he leaned over and shared his thoughts with David and Thad.

Blaine had stopped paying attention to the other singers, he had stopped paying attention to the council and the rest of the Warblers as he bit his lip and churned possibilities of Kurt's disappearance around his head.

Maybe he had had an accident and tripped going down the stairs and was now laying somewhere in a crumpled ball of pain, unable to move or call out for help.

Maybe Kurt had bumped into some homophobic jocks who had tracked him down to Dalton and decided to beat him up.

What if right now Kurt was being kidnapped and Blaine was just sitting here, in Warbler's practice as a boy he hardly knew belted out some slightly off key end notes to Bruno Mars' Grenade?

That was impossible, he had seen Kurt after his date with Terry and spent the whole night in his room and Kurt hadn't once mentioned being kidnapped throughout the day.

Had he been bruised? Walking with a limp or looking as if he had recently been attacked or fallen down the stairs?

Blaine frowned in concentration, picturing Kurt that night as he opened the door to study Blaine's clothes.

No… he had seemed fine then, he had moved easily enough and even though he had been crying-

Of course!

Blaine sat up straight, remembering Kurt's red eyes and messy pyjamas. He'd mentioned a bad day, something bad that had happened over and over again throughout all Tuesdays that Blaine had apparently missed.

How could Blaine have been so oblivious? How could he have forgotten how upset Kurt had looked?

Was it something to do with his family? Did he get into a fight with Rachel? Was it… boy problems?

Blaine's hands tightened into fists, scowling as he pictured some faceless guy making Kurt cry. How dare that jerk ruin what was supposed to be an amazing day for Kurt, he'd been so excited this morning and now because of one idiot, what was supposed to be Kurt's moment to shine was going to be ruined.

Blaine couldn't believe how self centered he'd been, after Kurt had been crying (possibly over a guy who would never deserve Kurt anyway), Blaine had come up to him and accidentally rubbed his date in Kurt's face, making Kurt's day at least ten times worse.

Blaine was officially the worst friend ever.

James finished singing to a smattering of applause as Blaine jolted out of his thoughts and quickly clapped as well.

He needed to find Kurt, he wasn't going to sit here through another five songs while his best friend was crying in his dorm room or crumpled at the bottom of some stairs or stashed away in the boot of someone's car.

Okay, Blaine said firmly to himself, you really need to stop with the kidnapping theories.

Wes was asking Thad to go and get the next singer as Blaine stood up cautiously, trying not to attract unwanted attention to himself. He exchanged a glance with Jeff who nodded in reply, understanding immediately where he was going as Blaine slipped his phone into his pocket and slowly straightened up.

A few curious eyes turned to look at him, questions forming on their faces when the doors were pushed open and Kurt walked into the room.

Blaine froze where he stood, Jeff gasped next to him as everyone in the room seemed to turn in unison to face the new intruder.

"I'm sorry for being late," Kurt said, his voice slightly shaky as he stood with his hands held behind his back to give off the image of confidence, "But I was having a personal crisis and needed some time to prepare myself."

"Kurt…" Blaine said softly, the name falling from his lips almost without his control.

Kurt didn't turn to look at him and instead stood centre stage, dressed in a sombre yet fashionable black suit as he held his head high with perfect posture. He looked as if he was putting up a shield, he was wearing his normal clothes as a way to keep everyone out but Blaine could see the dried tears on his face and knew it was all a way to protect himself.

Kurt was in pain.

Something had happened and it had been big enough to make him cry and now he was here, standing in front of the Warblers with that determined, brave look on his face that made Blaine want to pull him into his arms and hug him.

Blaine hurt to look at the other boy, something in his chest was thudding painfully but he couldn't tear his eyes away, worried and at a loss of what he should do. He wanted to hug Kurt and make everything okay, but the other boy had raised his shields. His clothes said 'don't touch me' in a way that warded off everyone, including Blaine.

"Kurt," Blaine said again, slightly louder so as to attract Kurt's attention, "What's wrong?"

"It's Pavarotti. Pavarotti's dead, I suspect a stroke."

Whatever Blaine had been expecting, it hadn't been that. As if it was a montage, every Tuesday morning flashed past in his mind where Kurt had anxiously inquired about Pavarotti's health and Blaine had laughed off his concerns. Why had he just assumed the bird would be fine? Why hadn't he advised Kurt to take him to a doctor?

The Warblers seemed to be stunned into silence, nobody making a sound as Kurt ducked his head to keep himself under control.

"O-oh my God Kurt, I'm… I'm so sorry," Blaine eventually stuttered out, reeling and feeling completely useless.

Kurt loved Pavarotti.

It was an undeniable fact that everyone in the room knew. Kurt himself had admitted that he wasn't much of a pet person, but the bond he had struck up with the yellow warbler was both touching and adorable. Blaine remembered the conversations he'd had with Kurt where the other boy had expressed fear over the Warblers being upset with him if something happened to the bird and suddenly the urge to hug him returned.

"_It's okay," _He wanted to say, _"They know how much you love him. They know it's not your fault."_

"I know it's really stupid to be upset about a bird but… h-he inspired me with his optimism and his love of song. He was my friend," Kurt said, glancing up again to look the Warblers head on.

"_It's not stupid," _Blaine thought to himself, still frozen in place as he watched the pain flash across Kurt's face, _"Nothing you do could ever be stupid."_

"I know today was solely reserved for auditions and trying to find another soloist for regionals, but instead of my prepared song of 'Don't cry for me Argentina', I'd like to sing something else. This is for Pavarotti who was taken long before his time."

Kurt pulled a cassette tape out of his pocket and handed it to a nearby Warbler who walked over to the CD player solemnly. Blaine sank back down into his seat, still wishing he could do something to help Kurt but let the other boy take over. If Kurt wanted to sing then no one was going to stop him.

Blaine recognised the first opening notes of the classic song, but it didn't click into place for him until Kurt slowly opened his eyes, raising his head as he began to sing.

_Blackbird singing in the dead of night  
Take these broken wings and learn to fly  
All your life,  
You were only waiting for this moment to arise._

_"How can anyone be so beautiful?"_ Blaine thought to himself, still stunned and confused as Kurt's voice washed over him.

Kurt had been right when he'd said long ago that listening to him sing in the car was nothing like watching him perform. This… this song, Kurt's voice and the emotion behind it… it was breath taking. Blaine couldn't look away and he could almost feel the awe of the Warblers gathered around him as they watched Kurt sing.

_Blackbird singing in the dead of night  
Take these sunken eyes and learn to see  
All your life,  
You were only waiting for this moment to be free._

Was everyone seeing what Blaine was seeing? Or had they been able to see it all along?

The Kurt standing before them now was a pure representation of the boy that Blaine had wanted to be his best friend, this was the boy who made Blaine feel brave, who made him feel special and important. Kurt had suffered so much for only seventeen years of living, he had gone through things that Blaine couldn't begin to imagine and yet he had come out the other side stronger and more determined than ever. Who could have done that besides Kurt Hummel? Who could have gone to a school like McKinley year after year and not given up? Blaine had always known that Kurt was so much stronger and braver than he could ever hope to be, but standing in front of the Warblers, letting them all see how much he was hurting and not being afraid to admit it…

It made some kind of strong emotion surge up through Blaine, something he couldn't understand but knew he had felt before.

He's so beautiful.

The thought floated around Blaine's head as he tried to make sense of what he was feeling. The Warblers were joining in now, singing along softly to the beat of the song as Kurt made his way carefully around the room. Blaine followed him with his eyes, unable to look away for a second as the thoughts seemed to rush through his head and his heart beat began to speed up.

Kurt was his best friend, he understood Blaine in a way that no one else ever had and as Blaine was starting to suspect, in a way that no one else ever would. He was compassionate and strong and so intelligent, he could make Blaine laugh when he felt as if he was on the verge of losing control and would drop everything to come help him if he needed it. Being with Kurt made Blaine feel safe, he made him feel brave enough to confront Kurt's bullies and risk being hit even after only knowing him for a week.

"_Did I do that?" _Blaine thought to himself with a sense of bewilderment, _"Did I really skip school to risk being hit in the face after only a week of knowing him? Why would I do that? I couldn't even face my own bullies."_

_Blackbird fly Blackbird fly  
Into the light of the dark black night._

Blackbird fly Blackbird fly  
Into the light of the dark black night.

Kurt was silently crying now, his voice was still strong and didn't shake on a single word but Blaine could see the way the tear dribbled across his cheek and down his chin.

He's so beautiful.

Blaine couldn't make sense of what was happening, something had changed; something momentous had occurred but Blaine had no idea how to explain it. All he knew was that Kurt was his best friend and he felt a connection with him that went beyond words. Kurt made him happy with his presence alone, he made Blaine feel better without saying a word and the idea of living in a world where Kurt didn't want to be friends with him or replaced him with someone else scared Blaine more than anything else.

Kurt was incredible.

He'd always known that, acknowledged it in an offhand way but he'd never given it much in depth thought. He'd always been so busy, so distracted with everything else that he hadn't bothered to step back and look at how amazing Kurt really was.

But now he was here, singing in front of the Warblers and showing everyone the most vulnerable, hurt parts of himself that he wasn't ashamed to hide.

Kurt Hummel was the most beautiful thing that Blaine had ever laid eyes on.

_Blackbird singing in the dead of night  
Take these broken wings and learn to fly  
All your life  
You were only waiting for this moment to arise._

Kurt was staring out the window now, looking at something only he could see as the song slowly drew to an end. Blaine's eyes traced his face, the rest of the Warblers, the rest of the room, even the rest of the world disappeared. The only thing Blaine could see was Kurt.

Blaine could hear his heart pounding in his ears, throbbing in his chest as if it could sense that the person it belonged to was standing in the room, so close and yet too far.

"_Take it," _Blaine wanted to tell him, _"You can have it, I think it belonged to you from the moment I saw you but I was just too much of an idiot to realize."_

"You were only waiting for this moment to arise," Kurt sang softly as the music faded away, "You were only waiting for this moment to arise."

The humming slowly came to a stop, the choir room silent as every person sat still and waited for Kurt to speak.

Kurt closed his eyes and drew in a deep breath, turning to face the Warblers; he gave them a small smile and tucked his hands behind his back in an effort to keep his perfect posture.

"Thank you," He said.

"That was beautiful Kurt," Wes said, his voice soft as if he didn't want to disturb the calm sadness that had swept over the room, "On behalf of all of us I'd like to thank you for sharing and I'd also like to say that we're deeply sorry for your loss. Pavarotti was a good friend to us all and we're sad to hear of his passing."

Wes leaned back in his seat, a tired look crossing his face as he smiled at the gathered Warblers.

"I think that in light of what has happened, we will disband the meeting for now and continue the rest of the auditions the same time on Thursday. Someone please inform the rest of those auditioning about the change in time and we will continue in two days. Meeting adjourned."

Wes gave a sharp rap of the gavel to the table as the Warblers slowly got to their feet, each speaking in hushed voices as they picked up their bags and made their way out of the room. Kurt wiped at his face, brushing away any stray tears as he made his way over to the sound system to collect his cassette before leaving the room as well.

Slowly the choir room cleared out, leaving Blaine sitting on the couch as Thad hurried off to inform the still waiting boys about the change of events and Wes and David made their way out through the opposite door, talking together in a quiet whisper with their heads bent close to hear what the other person was saying.

Blaine remained silent, lost in thought as the sounds of chattering boys faded away and the door swung closed after the last Warbler.

It felt as if the world had shifted underneath his feet, as if the Earth had twisted off its axis to point in an entirely new direction and now everything around Blaine was foreign and strange.

He wasn't concerned though, he didn't give much thought to how he had never realized it before because he could finally feel his anchor, that safety net that told him he was free to fly as far as he wanted because it would always be there to catch him. He could feel that presence, directing him where to go and letting him know that everything was going to be alright because he wasn't alone.

He was in love with Kurt.

He was in love with his best friend and he probably had been from the moment he saw him.


	10. Chapter 10

Alright, it's been a little longer than I intended, but I've finally got the last two chapters ready to go. Guys, thank you so much for reviewing and reading, it really means a lot to me and I'm a little disappointed that it's come to an end. I've still got so many more ideas and stories I want to upload so hopefully I'll get around to finishing and then uploading my next massive klaine fic. I'm trying to get into the swing of writing more each day so if everything works out, I'll be uploading my next fic by November.  
Once again, thank you for everything, I'm honestly delighted that people have liked what I've written and I've loved reading all your comments and thoughts. I'm uploading the last two chapters together, so I hope you enjoy the ending. =]

* * *

"I mean, how could we have let anyone go on after that?"

"I know," David agreed, nodding his head in Wes's direction.

"The raw emotion… it would have taken away from Kurt's performance and almost seemed like a… a…"

"Insult?"

"Exactly! No one would have been able to follow it up anyway. Not for all the pop songs in the world," Wes said with a sigh.

"I just don't know what we're going to do on Thursday, because if we count that as an audition-"

"Wes!"

David and Wes paused, turning around in confusion as they saw Blaine racing towards them.

"Wait up, I need to talk to you."

"Blaine? What's wrong?"

Blaine came to a halt in front of them, panting for air as if he had raced as fast as he could from the choir room to hunt them down. His hair was coming loose from its gel, his eyes wide and frantic as he bent over to suck in a breath of air as he held up a hand for them to be silent.

"I need to ask you a question, is Kurt in love with me?"

Wes and David froze, glancing at each other as if to try and figure out what the appropriate thing to say was.

"I don't know Blaine," David said carefully after a couple of seconds of intense, urgent eye contact with Wes, "I mean, I'm not that close with him so if you wanted to know then maybe you should-"

"I'm in love with him and I'm going to ask him out but I just wanted to know if that's what you and the other Warblers had been hinting at when you made jokes about us getting together."

"You're going to ask him out?" David recoiled in surprise, "Really? Is this a joke?"

"Of course it's not a joke," Blaine snapped, "I just had the biggest epiphany of my life and I'd appreciate it if you'd take this seriously."

"We've waited so long," Wes said, staring at Blaine in shock.

"So, so long," David agreed in awe.

"Is Kurt in love with me or am I getting my hopes up for nothing?"

"Uh, right! Yes, he's in love with you," David said quickly, "Are you really going to ask him out today? Because if you wait till after regionals then I win the bet that's been going on since you guys met and I get a lot of money. Regionals is like, two weeks away so in the grand scheme of things it's really not that long and might even be-"

"He's in love with me?" Blaine said, his face filling with hope as he looked back and forth from Wes and David, "He's really really in love with me?"

"Yes Blaine," David said, "He's really really in love with you. Back to the thing about regionals-"

"We've waited so long," Wes said again, sounding confused and still in shock, "I'd almost given up on this day ever happening."

"That's because you thought Blaine would wise up by Christmas," David rolled his eyes, "Which was ridiculously optimistic if you ask me."

"He's in love with me," Blaine said dreamily, "I'm Blaine Anderson and he's in love with me."

"Is this real?" Wes asked, "Because I don't know what I'm going to do if this is some kind of stress dream brought on by Jeff's refusal to dance to the beat. I may have to hurt someone and I don't want to do that."

"Kurt's in love with me."

"We've established that Blaine," said David pleasantly.

"I have to go ask him out!" Blaine snapped out of his daze, turning to face the two senior Warblers with an intense determination, "I have to ask him out right now and be his boyfriend and sing duets with him and kiss him and go on dates."

"Before you do so, how about you take a moment to think about how satisfying it would be to wait two more weeks and ask him out after our regionals win."

"Don't mess this up," Wes said suddenly, seemingly shaken into reality by Blaine's determined expression, "He's waited a long time and I don't think any of us could handle seeing you come so close only to upset him at the last second."

"I'm just going to tell him I love him and that he's the most perfect person I've ever met and that I'm an idiot and I want to be his boyfriend."

"Oh," Wes said, "I suppose that could work."

"You know what else would work? A big confession after regionals, that would definitely get him to say yes."

"I need to go, but thank you for everything!"

Blaine turned to run away, clutching at his bag as he paused for a second and turned back to face them.

"Oh and I don't know if this is actually going to work or anything but if it does, go tell Thad that the girl he's crushing on is Nick's cousin. Oh! And tell Nick that Jeff likes him. And Trent is going to this Italian movie showing next month-"

"Oh, I heard about that!"

"I was actually planning on going."

"-And I think we should all go together because Trent has good ideas and is endearing and plays the clarinet. I have to go ask Kurt to be my boyfriend."

"Oh, okay," David blinked in confusion, watching as Blaine turned and raced away from them back the way he had come, "Are you sure you don't want to wait until after-"

"Bye! Thank you!"

Blaine ran around a corner and disappeared from sight, leaving Wes and David standing in a bewildered silence.

"I don't know what just happened," Wes turned to face David with a frown, "But I think it was good."

"Two more weeks," David muttered, "Just two more weeks."

"Stop complaining, at least you didn't bet on Valentine's day like half the Warblers did."

"Two weeks!"

"I can't believe we travelled all the way to the Gap for some guy we've never even heard of. Who the hell is Jeremiah anyway?"

* * *

Blaine hurried down one of the numerous Dalton halls, no longer running as he clutched at the stitch in his side and breathed deeply through his nose.

There was no need to panic, Kurt wasn't going anywhere and if he didn't find him today he knew Kurt would find him tomorrow morning at breakfast. Blaine wanted to find him though, he wanted to talk to him today. He didn't think he could spend an entire night in his dorm room without knowing… without having said…

Kurt loved him.

Kurt was in love with him and he had been for ages and-

Oh god, Blaine faltered to a halt, had he really asked Kurt to pick him up from his date with Terry?

Blaine cringed at the memory for a few seconds before shaking his head, pushing forwards in determination. He would make it up to Kurt, he would make up for everything and spend every day just making him smile and listening to him laugh and watching movies together cuddled up on Kurt's bed.

He was going to be the best boyfriend ever, but more than that, he was going to be Kurt's boyfriend.

_Kurt's boyfriend._

The first time Blaine had thought those words to himself they had been a hesitant question, immediately ignored when he realized how fragile Kurt was and how badly he was being bullied. Later the words had been used to think of some faceless, unknown guy, like when Blaine had thought to himself _"I wonder if Kurt and Kurt's boyfriend will one day come on double dates with me and Jeremiah."_

Later the two words had been thought of with a touch of jealousy, they had been thought in anger and fear of someone swooping down and stealing Kurt away from him.

But now the words were thought hopefully and with a touch of awe.

He could be Kurt's boyfriend, he could hold his hand and go on dates and send him good morning texts everyday even though he kind of did that already.

Oh god, how long had he unintentionally been flirting with Kurt?

Blaine hurriedly made his way down the hallway, concentrating firmly on getting to Kurt's dorm room. He could think about everything else later, he needed to focus on the perfect thing to say.

Actually, now that he thought about it, maybe Blaine should go speak to him tomorrow. That way he could spend the whole night just rehearsing in front of a mirror and ask Jeff to critique each different confession of love so he could get it perfect.

Maybe he could even serenade him!

Blaine brightened at the thought, picturing the Warblers gathering together outside of Kurt's dorm room to croon a love ballad with Blaine at the front, holding a bouquet of roses as Kurt blushed and stammered and smiled with that pleased, scrunched up smile as he looked deeply into Blaine's eyes and-

Wait.

Maybe he should forget the serenade idea completely, he didn't want to remind Kurt of the whole Jeremiah fiasco.

"_And what if Kurt rejected him?" _A voice whispered in his mind, _"What if Wes was wrong about Kurt and he had moved on ages ago? Did Blaine really want to be rejected in front of all the Warblers?"_

No, Blaine didn't want to be rejected at all, but a public rejection?

The speech needed to be perfect though, it needed to make Kurt realize how special and incredible he was and how sincere Blaine felt.

He should probably write something down, memorize a couple of cue points and then try later. In fact, that might be the best idea. Asking Kurt out an hour after rehearsal seemed a bit rushed, he could just wait until later tonight when he was feeling a bit more confident and then Blaine would have everything sorted out. His hair was probably a mess after all, he had been running around to find Wes and David and now he had been running around to find Kurt but he should-

Blaine glanced casually into one of the study rooms and came to a halt.

The room was almost completely empty; it was lit up by large windows that let the afternoon sun stream in across leather couches and expensive tables where chairs had been casually abandoned underneath as students left to go home for the day. It didn't look much different than any other study room except for the one lone inhabitant, bent over a table and lost in thought.

Kurt was dressed back in his normal Dalton uniform, obviously working on something as he frowned in concentration and fiddled with a strange box of some kind.

Blaine's stomach swooped at the sight of him, his hands felt clammy and he swallowed nervously to try and get rid of the lump that had suddenly appeared in his throat.

Kurt was right there, he was alone and still just as beautiful as Blaine had remembered him from an hour ago and he was sitting _right there._ How could Blaine walk away? How could he leave what he had to say until later tonight when Kurt was seated right there and they had both waited so long?

"_It needs to be perfect!" _The voice insisted again, _"It should be perfect or he's not going to like it and then he's going to reject you!"_

Did Kurt want perfect though?

He deserved it, but did he want it?

Blaine paused in the doorway, biting his lip anxiously. He thought back to the conversations he'd had with the other boy, the promises he'd made where he'd sworn he'd let Kurt in more. The conversations where in return, Kurt had promised that he didn't want Blaine to be some flawless, faultless friend, didn't want him to be some teenage dream who always said the right words and did the right thing.

There were some words floating around in Blaine's head, words about an anchor and a guiding light and Kurt being his best friend and how Blaine had waited so long to find someone like him and almost missed him completely because he couldn't see what he already had.

There were even words about Kurt that Blaine wanted to tell him, words like beautiful and courageous and inspiring and so strong. He wanted to tell Kurt exactly what he thought but the words wouldn't form into fully constructed sentences.

The option to run away and think was taken out of Blaine's hands however, when Kurt looked up from his table, sensing someone's eyes on him as he turned to face the door.

"Blaine?" Kurt asked in surprise, "What are you doing here?"

"I…" Blaine paused to swallow nervously again, feeling younger and more vulnerable than he had in a long time, "I wanted to come check how you were doing."

"Oh."

Blaine made his way hesitantly into the room, dropping his bag underneath Kurt's table as he pulled out a chair to sit down. Kurt fidgeted with what he was working on, his long fingers playing with the corners of the box as Blaine studied it curiously.

"Is that…"

"Pavarotti's coffin, I was just decorating it."

"It looks nice."

Kurt didn't reply, instead glancing down at the coffin to avoid Blaine's eyes as an uneasy silence fell over them. Blaine had no idea what to do, he could feel Kurt pulling away from him and wanted him to stop.

"How are you feeling?" Blaine asked, smiling nervously when Kurt glanced up to meet his eyes again.

"I'm a lot better now, thank you for coming to my audition, even if it wasn't what you expected," Kurt said with a slightly wry smile.

"It was beautiful," Blaine said, trying to sound as sincere as possible as Kurt pulled back in surprise, "It was one of the most beautiful performances I've ever seen."

"Okay, now you're exaggerating."

"I'm not."

Blaine paused, feeling Kurt watch him in confusion as he took a deep breath. This was it, the next few moments were going to completely shape his life.

"_It has to be perfect!" _The little voice from the back of his head demanded.

Blaine pushed it away stubbornly, straightening up as he forced himself to start speaking. It didn't have to be perfect, it just had to be enough to make Kurt understand.

"There was another reason I came to talk to you," Blaine moved to cover one of Kurt's hands with his own, relishing the feeling of the soft, warm skin as his heart beat started to speed up in anticipation and slight fear.

"Oh?"

There was only curiosity in Kurt's voice with a slight amount of confusion, he obviously had no idea what Blaine was going to say and Blaine had no idea if that was a good thing or not. At the very least Kurt hadn't pulled his hand away from Blaine's.

"Yes. You see, for a long time I feel like I've been searching for something," Blaine started off slowly, trying to form the right words that would make Kurt understand, "I guess it's almost… ironic in a way, because I was so desperate to find this person, this sense of security and safety and love that I didn't realise what I was looking for had been right in front of me the whole time."

Blaine paused to think, he glanced up again to meet Kurt's eyes who was staring back at him, still confused but now with what might be the beginnings of hope forming on his face. Blaine found himself growing more confident at the look and straightened up, speaking slightly more loudly as Kurt made no move to interrupt him.

"There's this moment in life," Blaine started again, leaning forward so he was even closer to Kurt, "When something changes, when you gain a new perspective and suddenly someone you thought you knew becomes a completely different person. There's a moment- a-a whole new side that you'd never seen before and once you've seen it you can never look at the person the same way again."

"You're rambling," Kurt said softly.

"Let me finish," Blaine smiled nervously, gaining confidence from the fond smile Kurt gave him in return, "I'm almost done. There's a moment when you look at someone and think 'Oh there you are, I've been looking for you forever' and watching you do blackbird today was that moment for me about you. I want to spend more time with you, I want to make up for all the times I've been an idiot and hurt you but mostly I just want to make you happy."

"Blaine…"

"I'm in love with you," Blaine said with more confidence than he felt, "And I would be honoured if you would give me the chance to be your boyfriend."

Blaine took in Kurt's stunned facial expression and frozen posture, suddenly feeling a swarm of nerves as he hurried to correct his words.

"That is… if you'll let me."

"If I'll let you?" Kurt laughed, hope and awe filling his face as he shook his head in amusement, "Of course I'll let you, I… I love you too."

Blaine's face split into a huge smiling, watching as his expression was mirrored on Kurt's face as they both beamed at each other.

"You love me?"

"Of course I do."

"I love you too, I love you so much I…"

Blaine couldn't hold himself back any longer and with a huge burst of nerves, he surged forward to finally kiss Kurt for the first time.

Blaine's lips pressed firmly against Kurt's as he inhaled deeply through his nose, tilting to push in further as the rest of the world disappeared around him.

If someone had walked in right now, Blaine wouldn't have been able to notice. He was deaf to all other sounds besides the slide of his and Kurt's lips, deaf to any sound beside the small gasp Kurt let out in surprise. Everything disappeared around him until the only thing he could focus on were the parts of his body that were touching Kurt.

Kurt's lips were soft against him, sweet tasting and hesitant at first as he started to kiss back until Blaine nipped at his bottom lip and he started to respond with the same enthusiasm and want.

Kurt let the other boy's weight push him backwards until he hit the back of his chair, Blaine bracing himself on the chair's armrest as he tilted Kurt's head up to the perfect angle.

Kurt's left hand had come up to cup Blaine's cheek and every soft caress of Kurt's thumb sent tingling shivers down Blaine's spine, goose bumps rising on his arms as he squeezed his eyes tightly closed in pleasure.

Kurt's smell was invading his nose, the familiar tang of coconut shampoo and expensive cologne was making his stomach clench and his head swim dizzily. That smell had always driven him crazy, but how long had he been waiting to kiss Kurt senseless? How long had he wanted to bury his face in Kurt's shoulder and just breathe deeply? Everywhere he touched was so smooth and soft and the taste of Kurt's lips left him leaning in for more, biting and sucking at Kurt's bottom lip as Kurt's hand clenched around the back of his neck. Everything about him was so addictive and Blaine had no idea how he had not realized what his body's reactions to Kurt's smell and touch had been trying to tell him all along.

Blaine's head was filled with a soft humming, some kind of all-consuming happiness that had risen from his stomach and taken him over completely, until his toes were curling in his shoes and the only comprehensible thought he had was an overwhelming need to drag Kurt closer, kiss him deeper and harder and never stop because this moment was too perfect to let go of.

Their mouths moved in sync for a few more seconds, lazily sliding against each other until the gentle stroke of Kurt's thumb against his neck brought Blaine back to the present and with a reluctant sigh, he pulled back to slowly end the kiss.

Blaine let out a shaky breath, slumping down into his chair as he glanced up at Kurt shyly and with a touch of nerves to see if he'd enjoyed it as much as Blaine had. Just by looking, he realized he wouldn't even need to ask as he drank in the sight of Kurt's pleased smile and still closed eyes. It was almost as if the other boy was basking in the moment- and oh okay, Blaine's heart fluttered as he felt a huge boost of self esteem at the thought.

He'd never known kissing could be like that.

He'd kissed Rachel and that had been okay, but kissing her was nowhere near what it had felt like to kiss Kurt.

He'd felt as if he was floating, as if he could fly right out of his seat and swoop around the room and sing and yell that he and Kurt were boyfriends so the entire world would know.

This felt right.

He and Kurt were right for each other, they were right together.

Blaine couldn't remember ever being as happy as he was in this moment, he couldn't remember ever being as-as certain or sure of something in his entire life.

He wanted to kiss Kurt again. He wanted to hold his hand and hug him and curl up with him in bed and-and-

Oh, wow. Kurt was his boyfriend.

"I can't believe you asked me out while I was decorating a dead bird's coffin," Kurt said suddenly with a breathless laugh, turning to face Blaine again as he beamed, "Couldn't you have waited until a slightly more romantic situation presented itself?"

"No," Blaine stared at him with huge wide eyes, feeling something in his stomach tighten pleasantly at the pleased look on Kurt's face, "Kurt, I honestly couldn't have waited an extra five minutes."

"Well," Kurt shrugged a shoulder with an airy reluctance, "I suppose we'll have to make do."

Blaine and Kurt caught each other's eyes again as Kurt's mouth slowly curved up into what was becoming Blaine's favourite smile. Unable to stop himself and giddy with the knowledge that he didn't have to, Blaine pushed Kurt back into his chair again, kissing his boyfriend until he felt the rest of the world disappear.


	11. Chapter 11

"_You make me feel like I'm living a teenage dream the way you turn me on, I can't sleep, let's run away, don't ever look back, don't ever-"_

Blaine's eyes flashed open in horror, quickly taking in his everyday bedroom from the familiar uniform on his chair to the school books on his desk. Squeezing his eyes shut, Blaine rolled over and buried his face in his pillow, fingers clenching the material tightly as he tried not to scream in frustration.

He'd floated back to his bedroom in a daze late last night after kissing Kurt (_His boyfriend!) _goodnight at his dorm room door, Jeff had smirked at his love struck expression in a way that Blaine knew the Warblers would all soon be receiving a text to announce that Klaine was officially on but Blaine couldn't find even a small ounce of exasperation at the thought.

He was in love with the most amazing, incredible, beautiful boy he had ever met in his life and somehow, that boy was in love with him too.

How did things like that even happen?

He'd fallen asleep with thoughts of Kurt making his stomach swoop and his heart speed up in the most incredible way possible and a tiny part of him that hadn't been obsessing about Kurt had assumed that tomorrow morning, Blaine would wake up on a Wednesday and walk his new boyfriend to his first lesson before attending a maths class for the first time in over two months. That was… wasn't that the way it was supposed to work?

His phone was still blaring out Katy Perry's teenage dream but Blaine couldn't summon the energy to reach up and turn it off.

Had Sebastian lied to him? Was there a way out at all or was this all some sort of sick game?

Was he really going to go through this whole day again? He'd run out of ideas on how to escape weeks ago and now it felt as if he was just going through the motions, hoping he'd bump into someone new or get himself into some kind of situation where he could realize where he'd screwed up and how he could fix it.

Wasn't Kurt enough? Wasn't realizing that he was in love-

Oh God.

Blaine sucked in a gasp of air, his hand clenching in the fabric of pillow as he realized what the repeated Tuesday meant.

Kurt had forgotten everything that had happened yesterday.

He had forgotten that Blaine had asked him out, that Blaine loved him, that they were dating, everything.

At this point in time, he and Kurt weren't dating.

Blaine's eyes widened at the thought, horrified and on the verge of crying. It wouldn't matter how many times he asked Kurt out, the other boy would never remember by the next day. He could confess his love over and over again for hundreds of days to come and it wouldn't matter because by morning Kurt would return to his original state of thinking that Blaine was distancing himself and didn't trust him and didn't even want to come to his audition.

Blaine could be in love with Kurt for years and Kurt would never know; he wouldn't be able to remember.

Blaine could feel his heart slowly breaking in his chest.

He wouldn't get to introduce Kurt to Cooper, he wouldn't get to slow dance with him at prom or sing together at regionals or wake up in the morning to see Kurt smiling at him. They couldn't spend the day shopping together or cuddle in the back of a movie theatre or celebrate an anniversary with a fancy dinner.

He wouldn't get to do any of those things because it was always going to be Tuesday and no matter how many times Blaine asked Kurt out, they would never be able to date for more than a day.

He couldn't- he wasn't going to accept that.

How could he? How could he spend day after day with Kurt, in love with him but unable to let the other boy know? He would go crazy, there had been days in the time loop which had tested his sanity but to have Kurt so close and never be able to become anything more would eventually make him snap.

That wasn't going to stop him though, Blaine would make his way to Kurt's room every morning to tell him he was in love with him, he would do it every day if had to because having Kurt in any kind of way was a thousand times better than having no Kurt at all.

Kurt was also still in love with him, Blaine reminded himself, trying to push past the depression that threatened to drag him down when he thought of the Tuesdays to come. Kurt loving him wouldn't change no matter how many Tuesdays he went through. He could still walk hand in hand with Kurt down the Dalton halls and kiss him and comfort him over Pavarotti and make him smile.

It would be worth it too, it would be worth repeating that same conversation over and over again as long as he got to make Kurt smile and see him every morning and be around him. It was going to be hard, but maybe with Kurt to support him and help him, he could hold on to his sanity and figure a way out.

Blaine took a few deep calming breaths to slow down his racing heart.

What he had to do next was get up and go down to breakfast. He'd meet Kurt at his table and ask him out, they'd talk about his audition and Blaine would promise he'd be there at four and then they'd talk about Pavarotti-

Wait… Blaine paused in his thoughts, eyes widening as he felt a burst of adrenaline, what if it was about Pavarotti? What if he could somehow get him to a vet in time to stop him from dying? Saving the bird's life and figuring out he was in love with Kurt at the same time, could that be the way out?

If he got to the bird in time, if he figured out a way then maybe, just maybe…

"_I finally found you, my missing puzzle piece. I'm complete, let's go all the way tonight, no regrets, just love-"_

"Blaine for the love of God, turn off your alarm before I throw something at you!"

Blaine jolted in surprise, pushing himself upwards as he turned to face Jeff's bed and found the other boy glaring at him in annoyance.

"J-Jeff?" Blaine asked in confusion.

"Congratulations, finally remembered you have a roommate huh?"

"But," Blaine stared at him, unable to understand what was happening, "You're here."

"I live here Blaine," Jeff groaned and slumped backwards into his pillow, rubbing at his eyes tiredly. "Now can you please turn your alarm off?"

Blaine scrambled for his phone under his pillow, pressing the off button as Jeff mumbled out a thank you.

"You're here, in the morning," Blaine said slowly, still staring at Jeff with wide, confused eyes, "And you've been here since last night?"

"Yes Blaine, it's because I sleep here."

"But don't you have swimming practice?"

"Only on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays, can you… stop talking? Please? I'm gonna try and get another thirty minutes of sleep."

"But today's Tuesday."

"Today's Wednesday Blaine," Jeff said with a sigh, glancing at him out of the corner of his eye, "Maybe you should get some more sleep as well."

"Wednesday?" Blaine asked, the word feeling almost foreign on his tongue, "Today is… Wednesday?"

"Isn't that what I just said?"

Blaine sat frozen in place, staring at something over Jeff's head as he clenched at his phone.

Jeff was here, Jeff was here who hadn't been here in the morning for over seventy days and he was saying it was Wednesday and Blaine felt as if he was in shock.

He'd escaped.

The Tuesdays were over and somehow he had escaped.

Pavarotti was still dead so it hadn't been Blaine's mission to save him, he had gotten out by himself through the events of yesterday. It was over, the time loop was over.

"_All because of Kurt,"_ the little voice in his head whispered, sounding just as love sick and awed as Blaine did himself.

He'd escaped and it was all because he had realized that Kurt Hummel was the most stunning, incredible, strongest, bravest person he had ever-

Were they still dating?

Blaine jolted out of his shock, the thought seizing him with a hint of panic.

Just because he had finally moved on to Wednesday after more than two months of nearly going insane didn't mean that the yesterday he had experienced was the same yesterday for everyone else. What if his first Tuesday was the Tuesday everyone remembered? The Tuesday where he hadn't gone to Kurt's audition and had basically ignored him and left him alone to deal with Pavarotti dying? What if- what if missing Kurt's audition had been the last straw that made Kurt give up on Blaine completely?

What if he'd decided to move on and decided that Blaine wasn't worth waiting around for?

Blaine could feel his heart clenching in his chest, his old fears of not being good enough and not being wanted were rushing back to haunt him and before Blaine could realize what he was doing, he had pushed the covers back and jumped to his feet. He raced to the door as his heart pounded and everything inside him urged Blaine to find Kurt and make sure, make sure that everything was okay and that Kurt hadn't fallen out of love with him.

"Where are you going?" Jeff yelled at him as Blaine left the door swinging open, not pausing to close it as he darted down the hall and towards Kurt's dorm.

He was barefoot as he ran, but thankfully the halls were carpeted and not too painful on his feet. He was still in his pyjamas and he knew that if anyone were to open their bedroom door and see him racing past with a completely terrified look on his face, word would soon be spreading around Dalton that Blaine Anderson had had some kind of breakdown.

He needed to see Kurt though, the idea that he'd somehow managed to have him hours before only to lose him because of his stupid past self of two months ago was a painful one to think about. He'd just gotten Kurt, he'd just realized he was in love and had asked him out and had gotten Kurt to agree and he was happier than he had been in years and everything had been looking so good that if he were to lose him now, after just realizing that he needed him more than he'd ever realized Blaine was going to scream.

Or cry.

Probably cry and beg Kurt to take him back.

Blaine came to a stop outside of Kurt's bedroom door, panting and eyes still wide with fear at the thought of Kurt not wanting to see him as he hammered a fist on the door.

"KURT! KURT OPEN UP! I NEED TO TALK TO YOU!"

The door shook in its frame from the force of his knocking and he knew that soon other students were going to be poking their heads out to understand what was happening, Blaine didn't care, he couldn't care until Kurt had confirmed where they stood.

"KURT PLEASE!"

"I'm coming!" Came the answering yell from behind the door, slightly muffled with an almost grouchy tone, "Calm down, it's seven in the morning."

Blaine could hear Kurt slowly shuffling closer, obviously still waking up as Blaine bounced on his feet, clenching his hands into fists as he thrummed with nervous energy.

Kurt's door handle jiggled for a few moments before the door was being pulled backwards, widening to reveal Kurt blinking at him blearily, dressed in cotton plaid pyjama bottoms and an old t-shirt with a logo for Hummel's tire and lube advertised across the middle.

The sight of him made something inside Blaine melt, only to be quickly replaced by the fear that he might mean nothing to Kurt at all.

"Blaine, wha-"

"I just came here because I needed to make sure that we were on the same page. I had this… dream and now I'm not sure if you remember everything that happened yesterday."

"Remember everything? What are you talking about?"

"I love you," Blaine said desperately, hoping that the way Kurt recoiled in surprise wasn't because he'd never heard Blaine say the words before, "And I don't mean I love you like a best friend although I do still love you like that, but I mean I'm in love with you and I want to be your boyfriend and I'm fairly sure I asked you out yesterday but in case you don't remember I'm asking you out again."

Kurt stared at him for a long time, his expression unreadable as he studied Blaine's face.

In the few seconds of silence Blaine felt as if he was on the verge of a panic attack, thoughts were rushing through his head, all of them about how he could possibly make it up to Kurt and how he could ever get him to forgive him. He felt so scared, so young and stupid and naive and he just wanted Kurt to say something-anything to put him out of his misery.

"Blaine I-" Kurt cut himself off with a shake of his head, reaching for Blaine's hand with a gentle smile, "Of course I remember everything that happened yesterday, of course I do. How could I ever forget? I love you too Blaine, I love you so much."

Blaine sagged forward in relief, giving Kurt a watery smile as he squeezed at Kurt's hand.

"Good, I'm sorry. I must seem insane to you right now…"

"No, not insane," Kurt watched him in concern as Blaine wiped at his eyes, "It must have been some nightmare, huh?"

"Yeah it was, but it's all over now. It's all over and I have you and everything's going to be okay."

"You do have me," Kurt said softly, smiling shyly as Blaine smiled back hesitantly in return, "You have me for as long as you want me."

"So that's forever then."

"I suppose so," Kurt laughed.

Blaine caught Kurt's eye and found himself huffing out a laugh too, he could feel his face breaking into a beaming smile and knew he probably looked ridiculous right now but it didn't seem as if Kurt cared. Kurt's scrunchy smile was possibly the best thing in the world, Blaine decided, the one where his mouth curled up and his eyes crinkled and his nose crumpled up in the most adorable way possible. Actually, Blaine decided on second thought, the best thing in the world was seeing Kurt smile and knowing that he was the cause of it.

The sound of someone slowly clapping made both Kurt and Blaine jump in surprise, as they turned to face the intruder with a slight touch of embarrassment.

"That was beautiful," Sebastian Smythe drawled, water dripping down his chest with only a towel slung low over his hips to cover himself up, "Really touching. But can you take this party elsewhere? I know all the Warblers are listening in on this conversation and swooning at the knee's, but I struggle to tolerate the both of you after I've had my coffee and having to deal with your romantic drivel before eight in the morning sounds like some kind of divine punishment for a crime I did not commit."

"No one asked you to listen in Sebastian," Kurt snapped, "And frankly I think people would have more of a problem with you walking around half naked than me and Blaine quietly talking outside my dorm room."

"Quietly talking? Are you kidding me? I don't think anybody was able to sleep through Blanderson bodily throwing himself against your door and screaming your name as if he had thirty seconds left to live. Also, seeing me half naked is a service to the world."

"Why are you only wearing a towel anyway?" Blaine cut in before Kurt could open up his mouth to retort, "Why are you soaking wet?"

"It's called a shower Blaine, some of us prefer to take them at least once a day but judging from the fact that your hair is gelled from last night and you're in your pyjamas I'm starting to wonder if you even know what a shower is. Although I suppose the fact that you're standing here at all should be congratulated, do I even want to know how long it took you to escape the time loop?"

"Time loop?" Kurt frowned, "What are you talking about?"

"I don't think it's important how long it took me, but I just want to point out that if you had told me to go to Kurt's audition it would have been over a lot faster."

"What would have been over a lot faster? What are you talking about?" Kurt asked, frustration starting to seep into his voice as both boys ignored him.

"I did tell you to go to Kurt's audition hobbit, I told you on the first Tuesday. It's not my fault you weren't listening."

"I almost went insane in that loop!" Blaine snapped, "I threw myself off a building."

"You what?" Kurt exclaimed, his grip tightening on Blaine's hand until it was almost painful, "What did you just say?"

"But you survived didn't you?" Sebastian gestured towards Kurt, "And I told you the end result would be worth it."

Blaine softened at that, the tension melting out of his shoulders as he squeezed Kurt's hand and turned to look up at the other boy with an adoring expression.

"Yeah," He said as Kurt stared at him with a confused, worried look, "I suppose you're right. Everything would be worth it so long as I got him."

Kurt's face melted back into a love struck look as he tangled their fingers together, forgetting the confusing conversation Sebastian and Blaine had just had in favour of reaching up to stroke across Blaine's cheek.

"Ugh," Sebastian scowled, "Spare me. If your mushy honeymoon phase is worse than your constant pining then I'm really going to regret intervening in the first place."

"I think their love is beautiful!" A muffled voice called from behind one of the closed bedroom doors.

"I knew it!" Sebastian exclaimed, "I know you were listening in Trent! How many of you are pressed up against your doors right now, listening in as you sob into your silk hankies?"

"We're allowed to be happy that our friends finally got together," another Warbler called.

"It's not like there's anything wrong with it," another voice agreed.

"You're just jealous Sebastian!"

"Come out here and say that to my face!" Sebastian snapped.

"No!"

"Egocentric narcissist!" Trent yelled.

"Go put some clothes on!" The second voice yelled.

"What the hell?" Sebastian spat angrily, "When did everyone suddenly decide to turn on me?"

"Stop walking around the halls in only a towel, you are disgracing the founders of this school."

"My body is a gift to the world!" Sebastian snapped, "And I am not having this argument with a bunch of preps before I've had my first coffee. All of you are pathetic little Blaine fanboys who need to get a life."

"Take that back!"

"Klaine is beautiful!"

"You know nothing about us!"

The argument continued on but Blaine had stopped listening, instead focusing on the very distracting task of letting Kurt pull him into his room and tug the door shut, pushing Blaine up against it as he kissed him until Blaine slowly started to forget his own name.

Sebastian had been right; although Blaine loathed admitting it. Getting Kurt had been worth living through the time loop nightmare, it would be worth it to live through a hundred time loops.

It was like he had been given a second chance, a second chance to make a new start with Kurt and to start living how he really wanted to.

He was going to quit the fencing team, possibly today if he could separate himself from Kurt for the ten minutes it would take and then he was going to talk to Trent about organizing a day for everyone to get together to go to the film festival. He would talk to Wes and David about spreading the solo's a little more evenly and lock himself in his room and relax with some funny movies after class for an hour or two whenever he started to get stressed.

He was going to go shopping and buy more bowties even if he didn't have many opportunities to wear them and he was going to call his mum and just talk to her for as long as he wanted without being worried that he was wasting her time.

Most of all, he was going to ask Kurt out on a date. He would take him somewhere classy and pull out his chair and tell him how beautiful he looked. He would hold his hand and lean into his side when they went for a walk afterwards and he would kiss him goodnight at his dorm room door, trying not to swoon when Kurt would stroke gently down his cheek and kiss his forehead as a final goodbye.

He was going to have all of it and he was going to be happy because he understood now, he understood that it had been in his control all along and that he'd only needed someone to show him.

Kurt's hands were in his hair, breaking up the gel and cradling his head as he tilted Blaine's face backwards. They didn't have much time until they had to go down to breakfast and Blaine was distantly aware that making the journey back to his dorm room in his pyjamas and looking thoroughly kissed was going to be an embarrassing one, but for now he just let himself get caught up in the moment.

He had so much ahead of him and so much to look forward to, but the tiniest part of him, the part of him that kept him frozen in place and kiss Kurt back almost wished that this moment would never end.


End file.
